h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well then, if you've been on the internet for a while you've already experienced how embarassing typos can be. Like the classic brian instead of brain, which can give discussions a whole new meaning. Or others of a less freudian nature. So tell us your best and worst ones, and make us all laugh.

In some conversation on h2g2 about artwork and prizes, I tried to type "money" but it came out as "Monet". Thought I'd got away with it but a few posts later someone pointed it out.

The typo that inspired Xan to start this thread

Somewhere deep in the 'nice girls' thread I tried to type a "winkeye" smiley (I never use the ; ) symbol for some reason), but managed to change the 'i' for a completely different vowel.

Would have been less funny, but I was thinking about Linda at the time.

B

I produce our church's monthly magazine and there is always an article from the "walking and rambling group". I am really paranoid about changing that l to an n.

My favourite ever typo appeared in the Scunthorpe Evening Telegraph. I quote:

"Last week we erroneously stated that the retiring Mr. Brown was 'part of the Defective Branch of the Police Force,' for which error we apologise. Mr. Brown was in fact part of the Detective Branch of the Police Farce."

B

Due to someone presumably being a rather bad touch-typist, and skewing a few keystrokes one to the right, my mother (Mrs Rita Wilson') once received an envelope addressed to 'Mrs Tits Wilton'.

I used to share a house with a chap called Phil Tingey - who occasionally got letters addressed to Mr Tingly (well it used to make me giggle)

More recently, a colleague suffered from the related syndrome of 'over-active spell checker', when a bit of an official document using the acronym SLA for (Service Level Agreement) got switched to Salsa and the document sent out to a load of senior managers with a sentence about implementing some new system "in accordance with the salsa". Conjured up images of dancing directors or a free bowl of spicy dip with every system...

Ah, that one... which must have been in every single paper since the dawn of time Best send it to Snopes.
Joy of mistakes.
can't think up any typos at the mome, however has anyone else noticed the disturbing amount of subheaders in Local Papers that can be read in dodgy ways? fr'instance, in side-article about new football stadium, they chose the word 'Erection'.

For quite some time my bank used to address their letters to me at, "41 Matlock Toad"

Someone here also did a freudian on the phrase "spur of the moment". I didn't have the heart to tell him

bring your typo's to TypOrphanage A580088

BTW I would like if it was your own typos, or ones you've experienced. Not something like the salsa one.

my typo is on that page

Well I managed to miss the 'o' out ofd the word Count a long time ago on the Song titles thread.

The moderators soon spared my blushes though.

again maybe one for Snopes but read years ago about a Parish mag that apologise to a Mrs X for making a mistake - what they meant to say was she'd be giving a talk about "smocking and rugs" but instead they said "Smoking and Drugs"

CH

Possibly the best typos are those which disregard grammar. Another classic from the Evening Telegraph (well, we're all illiterate in Scunthorpe):

"Boat for sale. One owner. Green in colour."

Mal de mer not cured, then...

B

I once hurriedly hand wrote a post-it note for a colleague who was to look after a bit of machinery while I was away over lunchtime.
I tried to write "Don't flick this up" and attached the note to a switch on the equipment.
He thought that the l and the i formed a single, different letter and that my instruction was a little harsh and betrayed a lack of confidence in his ability.

I was doing a sailing course on the Firth of Forth where Polar Bears roam during the summer months and we had all sorts of safety lectures, basic first aid and such like, all followed by a written test.

"Q: You find the body of a person on a beach. There is no sign of fallen cables and the beach is deserted. Describe your course of action.

A: Check to see whether they are breathing, check for a pulse. If there is no pulse perform artificial insemination ..."

I was that man ... whether it counts as a typo or just plain stupidity I don't know ...

What were you thinking of at the time????

B