h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well that was pretty cruel. Not only agreeing on going out with you, but also hitting on you.

But chili, I´d also say don´t bring a girl to the concert. Will just make matters worse. And showing up at the concert might not be such a good idea after all. But I doubt the whole telling her how much you love her will work either, if it is her that´s the problem. So probably best to ask her about where it went wrong and such.

Well... I spoke to her before I had a chance to read all this...

But... I guess I stuck with the autist´s advice and it went allright. Guess she just did not expect me to tell her that I really love her and that I would do anything to please her. Even if that meant letting her go...

So I had a really miserable evening alone at home yesterday night, until she came to my house and woke me up at midnight because she wouldn´t sleep without me...

I don´t think it´s all fine now, but I think we are trying to find a way...

Chili, a bit more relaxed now, but tensely trying not to be so tense

Great! You have passed the hardest part of it.

Fingers Crossed...
***B

Thanks agcB



Chili...

So with hindsight, how did it go?

I'm intrigued too

Well.....

How did it go... hmmmm... TAFKAF...

I really think I stuck to your advice and it went down fairly well...

We had a couple of arguments since, but it feels like they were really getting to solutions. We know we both have to change a little bit.. so were trying hard to and give each other the comfort and time to do it...

Chili, yep it is getting better

It's important to clear the air, and arguments are often a good way to do that -it deepends how good you are at making up afterwards (*ahem*).

Glad my advice went down well. I'm a master at b*ggering up perfectly good relationships of my own, so with any luck i'll learn something from your example and follow my own advice in the future!

Yeah... I have also mastered this skill quite perfectly

But it seems like we have made a little pattern that we follow during our little "fights".
We just yell at each other and call us everything that comes to mind. Until one of us just says "This is getting nowhere". Then we would sit down have a ciggy and a beer and discuss the thing like two absolutely normal people. Not that we are normal, but pretending helps.

Oh, and hey, she just finished her final exams for her economics degree, that also might have taken a huge part of the pressure of everyday life from her.

Chili,

Well, it's too bad I came to this one at this late date, because I figured out in the first post that:

A) She did this only because she was chuffed that you were so non-commital about going to the concert, and

B) She was doing it to make you jealous and pay her some attention, and fast, or else you were going down even faster.

You handled it about right. But what worries me at this point is that the two of you seem to have so little in common. Is there anything that the two of you can agree to do? Is there anything that she does that you haven't given a fair shot, and vice-versa?

The thing about successful relationships, at least from what I've seen and experienced, is that there are supposed to be a few things that you have in common, which bring you together. There are also supposed to be some differences, which make things interesting. Who wants a relationship with a carbon copy of themselves?

In my case, my girlfriend and I have known each other for about 14 months, have been a couple for 8, and lived together for 6. As a result of our relationship, she has become a hockey fan, she loves Saturday Night Live, and rock music. I've learned to enjoy roller skating, Friends, and salsa music. She can't make me love soap operas, and she hasn't shown any interest in football, but we have to have something to argue about, or it wouldn't be any fun.

What's my point? Maybe it's time to evaluate things. If you two are having trouble agreeing on things, and after 9 months you still have trouble committing to something as simple as a concert, then maybe you're just not right for each other. Or maybe you are right for each other, and are very much in love, but you're both too pigheaded to make it work just right, and need to learn to do more stuff together.

Or maybe I have my head up my ass again. I usually have trouble telling when that happens. Luckily, people always come out of the woodwork to let me know.

Hate to bust this party, Colonel...

But you are way off...

She did not do it because I was not commital enough, or to make me jealous. She did it because she wanted to and was afraid to tell me that she would be going out without me. We have know each other for a year and half, been together for by now 10 months and hardly spent any time separated. We share a lot of interests, but we both neglected ourselves the interests we had that the partner would not share. So we resolved this now.
This makes for a night out with her friends (be they female or not) for her and a night at the movies or role-playing for me.

So evaluating the whole relaionship:

We might just be too perfect

Chili, now snuggling back to his lady...