h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Enters and waits for LeRue to finish firing*

*drops the clip, engages safety and shoulders the rifle*

Whats up colonel.

Well it seems my darling ex husband is in the process of remarrying to, get this, former Vice President Kinsey's daughter and it seems Kinsey jumped at the chance when he realised who Richard was. I've run a check on our reporter, former Times foreign correspondant, now tabloid hack, got into a spot of bother in Thailand and was sacked by the Times, the News of the World snapped him up because of his contacts in the diplomatic corps one of whom was Darling Dickie, all I know at the moment is that Dickie and Kinsey have been meeting in secret and have made several calls to the News of the World promising an exclusive

That's all I was able to find out but it's enough, we need to grab the little sh!t as soon as possible so we can find out what the two bigger sh!ts are up to

Time to gat the SH!T cleaners then.

So whats the Plan?

Send word to SG-3 to pick him up next time he raises his ugly head, I've left his picture in Med bay, it's the only place he hasn't been seen yet

Do you know where Bubba is?

No m'am... try the PA system maybe?

No I don't want to alert the journo, I'll go looking

*Looks at LeRue's rifle*

Ever used one of those rifles they used to sedate wild animals

*looks at the gun*

No too powerful, it would blow its brains out.

*sights down the barrel*

I could always try.

Go to the med bay and get some sedative darts then go to the Quartermaster and get a less powerful rifle, we're going Paparazzi hunting

*rubs his hands in glee*

Where will I meet up with you?

Med bay, I have a feeling he's heading there, the only place he hasn't been spotted

I'm off to find Bubba

*Leaves*

*leaves and wallks towards the armoury*

*enters the range, picks up a staff weapon and walks over to one of the larger spaces in the range*

*resets a target and starts going through some easy katas, discharging the weapon towards the target every couple of stances*

*after doing this for about 20 minutes, he then moves on to more complicated katas, discharging the weapon less often*

*finishes the katas and puts down the staff

unholsters pistol, walks over to another stall and sets up a target

ejects the magazine, checks it, replaces it, takes aim and starts shooting the target*

*finishes the clip, ejects it, replaces it with a new one, chambers a round, holsters the gun and leaves"