h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sometime during the early 1970’s, a friend of mine was a stage manager for a local amateur dramatic company and as they were due to start a weeks production at a local civic centre, he asked if I wanted to help out as a stage hand during the week - oh yes!.
Fist night and a guy was jumping through an “open” window in the scenery and someone behind dropped a metal tray on the floor, to simulate breaking glass, no where like. Later off stage, using the old pair of coconut halves ploy, the scene called for a rider on a horse in the distance, again no where like the sound. I said to my friend (stage manager) that the sound effects were poor; he replied “can YOU do better” oh yes!
The second night (now carrying a script of the play, for timing sounds etc) I stood near the scenery and following the script, as now another friend (made many that week) jumped through the “open” window, one hell of a clatter was heard, resulting in the stage manager rushing to behind the scenery thinking what the hells happened a dozen empty lager cans tied together make a good substitute for broken glass (not drunk there, but at home). The stall was set, up came the horse scene and this called for a horse riding on soft ground off stage left
Now picture the sound of coconut halves and horse’s hooves not mine! The actor who was the “Mexican General” on the “horse” said what! Was that, I replied it says soft ground in the script, we’re in Mexico, the grounds hard and the horse is skidding. After that, each night I did a different horse sound, as in one night “what is that this time?” the horses lame! You get the picture.
I also had a set of sunglasses with two red lights, one at each side of the lens, connected to a battery, which when pressed lit the lights, so dabbing the contacts caused them to flash.
To which a dozen or so school girls, who were part of the cast, at one point were carrying one girl over their heads, who had been “killed” and over in the darkness of off stage, she could see these two red flashing lights and for a “dead” person to shake through giggling, causing the carrying girls to waver – well! Say no more. During the play, a village square was the scenery and while various folk are acting out the scene, a giant 6ft plastic sunflower was growing from between part of the scenery, err me laid on the floor pushing it up slowly – lots of sun in Mexico you know, makes things grow. During the week, various err stunts were performed by me and by now, the stage manager never left my side, wonder why, but all the cast said that it made them more at ease and not uptight before their individual parts came, on the second to last night, I had a slight cold and could not help the odd cough or sneeze, even to blowing my nose, at one err session, I said “sound of blowing nose off stage right” oops! This was heard by the audience and got a round of laughs. After the final night, the production manager of the cast/group never said a word to me; as he’d spent every night at the back of the audience watching/listening to everything. I don’t think he had any words to give, Needless to say, I was not asked to help out in their next production. But the coconuts carry a long memory with some of the cast, even todayreputation counts for everything eh!!!

I wouldn't trust you to run a 'piss-up' in a brewery, Prof!!!!






'g'

The best bit was at the end, where you'd created a memorable experience for some of the cast. I bet that memory's better than gold.

Jabs

you are brilliant

my new saying-came to mind while writing this journal entry last night


Prognatus idiot - Ago idiot - Intereo idiot...

eh!

You are no idiot!

in the nicest sense Opti, oh yes I am and I love it not being normal, it's individuality and non comformist

There is no normal. Normal is just what most people do. i.e sleep, drink, eat. Beyond that we are all individuals not idiots.

can't argue with a lady

no you can't

The poor stage manager must have needed counselling when the show finished

Here Prof-give me back me floppy hat will ya-give some of the rest of us a chance -eh?!

So you have always been clever!!! This shows a real intellect's humor..wit and charm at the same time.
A gentleman and a scholar..and one of my truest friends here...

muchas gracias my friend

Muchas Gracias - isn't he an opera singer?

There's part of me pities the people in the theatre...

There's part of me envies them!

Prof thank you for sharing your wonderful memories of being a sounds effects specialist at the local dramatic society. It's a pity it had to end because you had a cold but you did make the audience laugh, even though it was unintened.

aah the memories, brings it all back - where the hell is he now!!!

http://www.iplay.playp.biz/RingtonesMobile/Music-Tones/Animals/Horse-Coconut-Shells/

Prof -

Hey bud, that's just the coolest link!

Jabs