h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Wellll Helloooo (In his best Terry Thomas stylee voice)
Doc here, been away from the Lab for a while but will return. Just checking on my patients to see how the alterations are holding up - speaking of which, how are the Double Z's?

(Twangs them playfully and ducks aside as they swing back down with a thwack)

Well, they seem to be holding up just fine! Need anything else my spelndid little Marilyn Monroe lookalike?

awwwwww. what's up doc?
we miss ya.....

no more surgery for me thanks, just for the moment...i'll make do

tho might line up for some experimental stuff if you come back to the s-lab....

sniff
sniff

Well thankyou my favourite deranged Blonde of Oirish origins.
Just spoken with Dai re the reasons for absence - mainly around a big flare up in my Artheritis which means I cannot drive, so no access to work PC, yada yada yada, you know how it goes............

Back now on short hours though so hopefully will be dipping in and out when I have beaten back the work monster............!

Here is to experimental stuff then.......!

*rubbing hands together..*

i do massage.....

hows your back?

You Do Massage????

Well, actually pretty much everything is shot to pieces over the past 30 years so it may take some time!

yeah.. really, but don't tell anyone will ya for fecks sake?...

hope you're feeling better doctor.. (do you like my white leather nurses's outfit? i had it made specially, so it actually fits.. in places at least

Hey IB - back in the land of the living and I would like to give those ZZed's a big Christmas kiss - If I am not out of your cleavage in half an hour, send the rescue team in!

Nice Nurse outfit by the way - skirt could be a tad shorter and the boots a tad longer, but that is just being picky. I am going in..........aarrgghhhh!

help yourself!!

Now THERE is an offer you dont get everyday! Let me just pour on some Maple Syrup first.................

doctor... need you.. can't you bring yourself to do just one more big enhancement......
and how do you get tomato sauce out of the stitching in this white leather nurses outfit, and look at this...

what the hell am i supposed to do with that!!

how the hell are ya by the way.... misst u

Ahhh, my favourite Irish real life fantasy Jessica Rabbit lookalike!
Missed U too baby, hows it been? Only seems like days since I was last enhancing that stunning cleavage!

Hmmmmm - Tomato Sauce in the stitching, eh? Here - climb into this handy St Trinians outfit I just happen to have while I clean off this tomato staining. And what to do about THAT? Welllllllll..........how long have you got..........?

Happy new year to y'all over there in Oirishland!

awww. thanks
i've not been on
got ticked off for goin on hoo too in work, cos it takes up a zillion megawhatsits in portal space or some such place....dont aske me i'm only a pleb

anyway i was kindly asked to refrain from using the net for anything other than lookin up bank recs and flight information....how tedious

are u feeling good these days?>
had good christmas/new year?
what u doin now that the lab is defunkt?
you're not in 'dredful' anymore either...
where u go.
have u changed ur name
so many questions...

i like the trinnians outfit
it's a good fit...can i keep it?
(not gone on the diet yet)

Ahhhh! I see the St Trinians outfit doesnt cover much exactly, does it?

Still - looks gorgeous from where I am hun!

Me? No name change - still around. Just check out my personal space to see all my conversations. THATS where I have gone!!

Big kiss to you babe - and when are you and the St Trinians outfit coming over to the UK? I think I need to take that skirt up a bit, but will need to measure in person of course

oh dear
just been couple o weeks ago
dag nabbit
was trippin up all weekend an all. could have been doin with a stitch or 2

i'll go check your space now and find out what you have been up to you naughty boy..you left me behind in the tomato sauce...

i'll probably never forgive u.....till monday

i just found out the lovely company i work for are making redundant
gutted
not

july or august so.. happy days..pick your island , we're running away.


x

Redundant? You? In THAT oufit?? Are they mad????

so - you may be making your way over in the summer? Splendid! I have picked an island where fortunately, they have just passed a law making swimsuits larger than a postage stamp illegal - its either that or Butlins, and I couldnt do that to you.........

Was having a bl**dy awful week up until about 10 minutes ago when I suddenly got told I have to go to Dallas and Atlanta on a business trip, so I am a big 'ol smiley bunny right now. Want to join me as my secretary? I understand Ann Summers do a GREAT Secretary outfit that would surely get us an upgrade...........

Oh yes - it is also "Cover a Traffic Warden With Bloater Paste For Africa" day today................cant miss that............

yes... i got 5 traffic wardens..thought i was doin well cos i had to chase the last one for 3 miles.

but i managed it alright and was quite pleased with myself

i'm comin to dallas
do i get a notebook, pen and glasses?
i'll be saying things like ....sir...can i use ur dic ta phone....
and smiling sweetly..


when do we leave?

i have bag packed
what airport am i meetin u at?
xx
baaaah for nah...

aye be

hello sorry about your job you can spend more time chatting to me about massage>>>>>[email protected] xx

Hey IB - who is "Niceguy4" and his massage fixation?

Back from the US now - only saw you reply once I was there!

WOTS UP DOC!!
LAFF

i have a suspicion that he's either my boss cleverly disguised as a human...

or he's from inland revenue

jury is still out...

not sure i'm still talkin to u .. you knew i was gonna wear them impossibly hi heels and running to gate 90 just aint possible in 4 and a half minutes, specially with all your stuff, ur laptop, ur travel cushion, ur dictafone and kitchen sink... you do know how to work a girl..
and then ....you left without me..

gutted dont even begin to....

i'm thinkin about reviewing your status in my friendship book

*turns back with haughty sniff*