h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

oOoOOO PADDIFITS GET LOST SADO!!

ahhhh jaysus lads

i go out for a bit o fresh air and come back to this

i dont like friction..

(meaning to ask ur advice bout that actually doctor..the 'beauties' keep sparking up if i do anyting to strenuous..must be static... and setting fire to my clothing... i've had any numhber of fellas throwin buckets of water at me and then standing back and grinning...it's getting tiresome)



do i have to talk to one o ya exclusively?
what's wrong with a 3 way?

IB, (lookin stern in oooooooooo matron's outfit)

3 ways fine & dandy with me
big wink
gonna say sorry to doc
xxx

sorry doc i was out of order the other day and take back all i said
SHAKE HANDS?

oh!! i forgot
niceguy stands jaw on floor looking at ib in matrons outfit
drool

i've lent the outfit to mrs dreadful..this is a pirate wench's outfit... see?.. lo cut basque thing with blousy effect and hotpants (cant be doin with them bit wench's frocks, they restrict movement something terrible and me ass looks frightfully big in em)..

anyway,....doc... come on.. be a good boy and say 'that's alright mister guy'..

stop sulking or i'll put u on the stairs..

failing that...round the back of the bike shed... i know you like it there.

How well you know me IB! Quick! run round the back of the sheds then with your best Wench outfit no less..........

oh
was i supposed to be there too?
i was sending u there to cool off...
if both of us go ....well..

Well, I could start without you but someone might see.........

oh alright then...
wouldn't want your reputation to be tarnished...

gimmie 5 i gots to change out of this suit of armour and put on something a little more comfortable..

Great! I'll bring the Soy Sauce.............

excellent idea.

do you know how many whatchamacallits i'll need to have on me?

A round dozen ought to do it - might need some whipped cream too......

mmmm...whipped cream!!

bit cold for my speciality...whipped cream bikini, but i can muster up a banana split....

whipped cream bikini this is getting better
u can use my banana

grin

Drops a Grand Piano on the alledged "Nice Guy" and runs off with IB to do unmentionable things with marrow, a tin of tuna and three cherry tomatoes............

good move doc
i can't see anyone remaining too nice with a grand piana nailed 'anchovy pizza style' to their head..
god i miss dem old pizzas and the brew
and the cupboard.. some good times in the cupboard...
whatever became of the lab..is it under a sea of tomato sauce still?
(emits long nostalgic breath)

now..what were we doing? oh yes. marrow... not sure bout the tuna.. is it in brine or oil?
cherry toms always a bit of a novelty

and one or 6 of these?

Definately six of and maybe more if we like it!

I have been waiting here all week for a reply, but finally I can take no more and will have to dash to the bathroom to vent to atmosphere.

Knowing my luck, you will reply while I am gone.......