h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Andy! Welcome to h2g2! Why, you have broken all records, my good man! I believe you have demonstrated the shortest transit time from the ctmb to here. And that deserves a special prize. Sally seems to be the decider of prizes. Let's await her verdict. Ani.

I await my prize with baited breath (must be the ciggies). It's difficult to not be honoured by one of Sally's prizes, in fact I feel an Oscars moment coming on

Ahh that's better, any tips on the best way to navigate this site?

Andy

Hi Andy, An Ace will find you and give you those lessons. Don't forget to say something about yourself on you own page. Ian

Andy. Re your poignant question <>:

See my instructions to Dai a few posts back on this thread. Once you reach our spaces, you can click on 'add to friends.'

If you want to see who has come over and registered, click read more on the front page, then scroll down to 'new researchers.' You might want to limit your search to 'day.'

Other than that, just search topics which interest you. There is an immense lot out there.

Sally is the expert though. Have you noticed the smileys below? You can click on full smiley index for some surprisingly precise smileys. But it is very stone age -- takes way too long. I allowed myself one shopping trip only for smileys. Then I copied and pasted the ones I wanted into a Word file and saved them. Ani.

Hi Dai, now I'm getting paranoid, my post saying I'm fine and giving a few other things to chew over seems to have disappeared.

I knwo this is funny but I mentioned the mods from the CMTB and it's definetely gone!

Did you see it before it went?

Ian

I don't believe this my postings are disappearing. Ian

Ian. Relax. Your postings have not disappeared. The one to Dai saying you are fine is on page 2. (?)

Scroll up to the top of this page. Notice the dots? Some are red. One is white. The white one is the one you are on. Click on the red one in the middle. That will get you to your post to Dai saying you are fine. Ani.

PS: I'm sending the bill in the mail. Heh heh.

Sally, Ian, Andy, Tim, and Dai:

My very good friend has a niece in Ireland, Noelle Harrison, who has just published her first book: 'Beatrice.' Apparently MacMillan Publishers were so impressed with her that they gave her an astronomical advance and have decided that she is the next Daphne Dumaurier.

Anyway, I thought I would pass the message along. It is on your bookshelves this week. We still have months to wait for it over here. Ani.

Hi Ani interestingly enough, I entered the following text on the accept thread

"Las desgracias nunca vienen solas."

And it's still there, infact Lennie, as you call him, replied with the smae text.

Must be the way I tell them.

Ian

Ani, it's pronounced pontipreeth, no it's not the same place, and it won't help with Mornington Crescent.

My Welsh isn't up to much, so you'll need to verify this with Dai. There are quite a few places that start with Ponty, and as you can guess it means something: the place where I seduced a girl who was from the neighbouring valley, boy am I in trouble.

I hope this helps with your education of the culture on our side of the pond, in our little islands.

Ian

Gosh thanks Ani, I was reaching for my blue blanket, got myslef all in a tiz. Ian

Hi Andy, and welcome.

I think it's Ani's turn to give out the prize, though. Mustn't be greedy and hog all the excitement.

By the way, I wanted to thank you for your timely warning on the CMB yesterday. There I was, all ready to set out for Tamworth, and up came your post. Phew, narrow escape there
Mind you, Lichfield wasn't much better

Sally

Andy's Prize: After thinking on this deeply for two seconds I have decided to award Andy a little red boat which shall be dubbed 'The Invincible Innocent.' Said boat shall have two oars, one sail, and a capacious Glenfiddich locker. The Glenfiddich locker shall be stocked to the brim, pressed down and flowing over with Ian and Tim's homemade beer which I gather is quite pleasant. Said award will be handed over at the beginning of the Left Behind Parade which starts at 1:30 pm your local time on the CTMB. Ani.

Ian. I noticed 'las desgracias nunca vienen solas.' I do not believe it is in the way you tell them. What possible offence could the Mods take with my 'buenos dias'? I think timing is everything. Timing and volume. Ani.

Hello Ani

Preparations for the grand reopening have been temporarily put on hold whilst we await Tim [and Sally’s?] recovery from post-prandial-intestinal-hurry.

In the meantime, the delay will give me time to further investigate Delwyn’s alleged involvement in the disappearance of the dinosaurs from Penscynor wildlife park [we’re not sure we can pin the global extinction of dinosaurs on Delwyn but we’ll give it a go].
All the best.

Dai

PS Sooooo close but , but you have to get all three parts of the question right to win the prize.

This post has been removed.

Wot? Did you see that? The long arm of the Mod has reached into our hitherto secure and Modless haven. Whose message was that then? One of us? An interloper? Confess!

Dai, presumably you address moi when speaking of withdrawal of prize. Well of course I failed the blood test, being bloodless enough to have survived the ctmb. Which part then? Be helpful man.

Ha! And I wish to advise you that you (with your propensity to hide in drafty libraries) have missed a whole day of revelry on the ctmb in which we celebrate having been left behind the day after the end of the world.

A few posters inquired after you. Sally and I covered your trail with pure, shameless fabrications. (The invoice is in the mail) You have now grown considerably in stature by virtue of leading the Lads-at-the-Institute Bucktooth Brass Band and by virtue of your sartorial splendour. (Thank Ian for providing the body double)

Dai,

That must mean you get the spinach matzat. It'll be getting a bit off by now - definitely past its 18 minute limit.

We missed you at the parade, although everyone appreciated the float. Good of your Mam to drive it, really. Seems we're all still happy to be alive

Sally

I don't think the 18-minute limit applies to spinach matzot. Because it is not of the five legal grains (wheat, oat, barley, spelt, and rye) and because it is presumably you who are opening the tin (notice the sly sidestepping of the term 'cooking') and because nobody with legal standing has tossed a stick into your oven: it is not counted as bread. So the 18-minute limit doesn't matter.

I wonder what 'Mam' makes her cakes from.

It's odd that corn doesn't count.

As for accepting a spinach consolation prize, my lawyer has advised me to withhold comment until Dai has fulfilled the requirements of 'disclosure' completely. Please accept my regrets for the convenience and, of course, a