h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At last the Beautiful Necromancer. With loads of new additions How did I pay for these you ask. Simple I floated a loan from the Chase Manhatten Bank. Me and the Rockerfeller's go way back. Dragonfly said this was better than stealing it back from the Queen's tax assessor's office but not as fun Anyway the list of improvements will amaze you.
The list goes as follows.

1 Two Cummings Diesel turbocharged inboard motors I would have gone Nuclear But nah.
2 Kevlar armour plating around crows nest and rest of ship. Pricey but well worth it. *seeing how I don't plan to repay the loan just let them try and catch us or me.*
3 A stereo system to rival that of a Pink Floyd concert complete with laser light show. Yet another pricey selection.
4 A cooler stocked with the finest Beer Australia has to offer.
All I need now is the crew to man the Poop deck and we are set to cruise the seven seas in style. So welcome aboard and do a check it out thing.

G'day Kid..... I just dropped by for a quick and to drop off a supply for you.....









That should keep you going for a while.

Must , I've still a bit of wo*k to do to clean up the mess I made for myself.

*wonders what ER could possibly have done to make so much work for himself, seeing as how he's practically perfect in every way*


Oh wait a second, that's *Mary Poppins* who's practically perfect in every way, not ER!





So... what'd you mess up, ER? In non-geek terms, please.


10,000 words should adequately explain it. Have it on my desk by morning!

Well, basically, I accidentally missed a step in the procedures for creating and releasing a part of our software (a box remained UNTICKED on a procedural form )......... which meant that one tiny little executable file in a beta release on 21 October 2004 retained a 1 November 2004 expiry date, when it should not have expired until 1 March 2005 and it pretty much rendered the beta release useless. But because of the interconnectivity and dependence of a lot of software files/executables, I could not simply re-build that single file and send it out. In the end half a dozen dependant files needed to be rebuilt to ensure that they work together effectively. Then I had to test them, package them, send them to the customers who got the incorrect release and apologise profusely for any inconvenience it may have caused. I've just finished sending out the "oops" emails, so now it's on to paperwork and then back to the other project I am currently wo*king on (which was meant to have been finished by tonight, but may yet be held-over until Sodit).

Is that clear and non- enough?

Thank you all for being the First the Bravest and the Finest to be Shaghied on the Necromancer. Just Kiddin.

The Captain. Kid Of course.

Thanks for thes Mate. It should last a Day or so. G'day

Captain Kid Good one!


ER, you should be flogged and forced to walk the plank for messing up like that!

(Go get 'im, Kid!)

I understood *some* of what you said, but your explanation was just a *little* short of the 10,000 words I requested.

A 10,000 word explanation would require a lot more -speak and a massive number of TLAs.... are you sure you're ready for that Lady Scott?

I'm happy to be aboard the Necromancer by whatever means, Captain Kid. Necromancer....... isn't that the name of one of Santas reindeers?

Go ahead, try me. I'd probably understand just about as much as I did from the short version.


That's one of the *Aussie* reindeer, we send you the rejects.

It's Latin Meaning Death Dancer I saw it on A show Firestarter. I was in medical assisting schooland had a tabors medical dictionary and looked it up. I like the phrase it speaks to my Native American side. The did'nt morn death. They saw it as a release from their earthly bonds.They had rituals where dance was a part of the burial process.

What Lady Scot me give ER the razemataz for a perfectly understandable mistake. Nah He's a good Mate his etra work is punishment enough. The Man has left me an over abundance of I would dare give him Guff for that. I'm shocked and dismaid. Also I'm rambling on so Til next post.

Firestarter!!! Thanks for that, Captain Kid, it's been bugging me trying to work out where I'd heard it before.

No woories Mate. Anytime I can be of use just hooler or type as it were.

Hello!!!

Ahoy there Little Missy. Glad you could drop by. So what do you think of her? The Necromancer I mean. Not the beautiful Lass maning the controls. A beaut ai'nt she.

Ahar The proprieter of the Club regretfully informs all those who may visit. RL beckons me and I won't be in for the rest of the evening. Wo*k s*cks.

Hey y'all!
'Sup? How's it going? Anything new?
What does this club do, exactly?

Well we loolie gag alot. That's went we'er not busy doing stuff. Great to have you here Midnight. I friend indeed you are. Have you read the Story of the refurbished Necromancer. It was impounded by the Queen. I had some unpaid fines involving un nessessary regulation. I never follow them types of rules. Speaking which rules there are no rules. This is a pirate vessel. The only rule I can see is never under any circumstance wake the Captain before Noon. The Captain bee's me Caqptain Kid. Of course you are a perferred Crew Member or Guest your Choice Lass.

Every One this Is Midnight. A great Girl she is. Course there's noone here right now Missy. so Have a Softdrink or was you like on the Boat of course.

'ello Midnight!!!

So when is noon!?? Don't want to wake the cp'n up by accident...

Nah you could'nt be buggin me D'fly your one of me favourites. Well as Einstien said time is relative to the observer. I can't recall the Time zone at the present, I'm awake though not for long as I've been up all night. Nice for you to drop by Lass

OK!!!

... one of your favorites... awwww....