h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm not sure how the whole 'eye-contact' thing would work with pygmies...

You'd probably have to use mirrors...

How about the 69?? where that come in to it??

Maybe some missionary just forgot to p-align his centerfont colorface due to his lack of Tahoma-size?

Makes the old Marquee de Sade rotate in his grave...

*rofl* to all of these,

but would some insider explain to me what position the natives had in use before the missionaries came? They most certainly would have had one

Perhaps we can get some input on this from native speakers of other languages, preferably from countries with no christian background.

Let's hear from you folks out there what your language's term would translate into in English!

ya know, i could be way off, but... to the best of my various knowledge, the "missionary position" was so called because it was the only sexual position allowed by the church.

"time is at hand for the travelling man..."

And then only within matrimonial bonds, and with the aim to procreate.

Still this position must've been in use at least since homo erectus, and the church probably wasn't around at that time, even though some of its acting officials would seem old enough.

Isn't there anybody out there who could tell us what this position might have been called before the christian missionaries began swarming all over the place?

makes much sense to prohibit other positions as the prohibitors already prohibited inspection ...

Well, the Christian Bible doesnt prohibit other positions, except for anything involving sodomy.

Oral sex, swinging from the chandelier, etc., are all ok, by Biblical standards, as long as they are consensual. I dont understand why the old-school missionaries thought theere was only one acceptable positon. I have found numerous of them to be acceptable.

Let them good times roll. Or maybe let them slap together...

(...ok, ok, gotta get married first.

(Please forgive my lack of tact, I am going through a divorce!)

I felt this entry could have done a better job of explaining what the missionary position is. I also agree with Nick that the position was encouraged by the Church and was not so-named because of undiscipled missionaries. I did a brief search on the internet, and I will pass on what I learned.

The missionary position is face-to-face, man-on-top intercourse.
( http://thriveonline.oxygen.com/sex/experts/drgardos/drgardos.12-02-99.html )

This position is good when it comes to conception because when the woman lies on her back, the vagina is tilted downwards towards the cervix, making it easier for the sperm to get through the cervix and into the uterus.
( http://onhealthnetworkcompany.com/baby/columnist/item,88844.asp )

The drawbacks of such a position have largely to do with the position of the female. Her pelvic movements are extremely restricted, which means that she plays a more passive role.
( http://www.sexhealth.org/infocenter/GuideBS/positions.htm )

It was named the missionary position when Christian missionaries told potential converts in the New World that other positions were unnatural. This most likely came from the teachings of St. Paul, who said that a woman should be subordinate to a man during intercourse (on the bottom) and St. Augustine, who taught that any other position was a sin against nature.
( http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0891.html )

Thank you for clearing that up. I always thought this position implied kneeling.

Actually there are quite a few rather nice positions that involve kneeling - and some of them might bring you closer to God than any variant of the missionary position... Yet those of us who're intent on procreating future popes are probably not very likely to let go of tradition, so if you tell them that kneeling is part of the "real thing", then maybe they'll be having some extra fun without feeling extra bad about it.

I'd like to apply for the job please.

Faster than you can say "double entendre". Which I believe has multiple meanings even on eroticon six

The Procol Harum-album titled "Larcs tongues in aspic" instantly enters the mind...

I hate to be pedantic (common start point for those who just love to be pedantic), but wasn't "Larks Tongues In Aspic" a King Crimson album?

Or am I missing an incredibly subtle double entendre?

And is the job still open?

Ooops! You are absolutely right - on BOTH subjects BTW (and I should know what I'm talking about: I was born a pedant - and I have improved ever since. But don't take my words for it. Ask anyone who even remotely knows me. He-he).

I must have confused the KK-title with PH's "Exotic Birds & Fruit", sorry! (In case these favorite bands of mine read this: Please accept my apologies!)

No apologies required....there is nothing gives a pedant a warmer glow than a muso reference corrected!

My own tastes veered closer to Genesis than either King Crimson or Procul Harum, so I guess that makes us both dinosaurs, eh?

Hoorah for the Seventies!