h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*wanders in and looks around*

Now this is my idea of a decent hotel kitchen... everything shiny, new and clean. Wonder if the menu is prepared for this evening? Let's see what's in the fridge...

*opens a door to a large larder fridge*

Ah! Hmm... looks like they need a restaurant manager, let alone chef. Better find someone to go and do some shopping...

The endless suppply of everything we need machine is just in the corner there

*returns to the kitchens feeling refreshed and invigorated and slips into her chefs whites*

Now then, let's see what we can put together...

*notices an endless suppply of everything we need machine in the corner*

Aha! One of them new-fangled esoewe gadgets. What shall I serve tonight then, at this short notice... hmm...

*looks thoughtful, taps a few buttons on the esoewe machine and removes the contents*

Better just take a copy of tonight's menu out to the restaurant...

*comes in from the resturant*

I have one order for leek, potato and Stilton soup, prawn coctail and steak, and another order for butternut squash and bacon soup, the Thai chicken and a salad *checks notepad* Ceasar salad.

Ah ye, the new menu, please, if you would be kind enough to post it on the menu thread (it was too confusing searching for the menu in the restaurant backlog)

F1767053?thread=397788

Oh dear. Was there a menu already set for this evening? I'm afraid I didn't know, and have... *glances at the fresh Arcturan megadonkey carcass lying on one of the worktops* ...prepared a new menu.

Would you be so good as to go back out to the restaurant and ask our guests to take another look at their menu screens and make an alternative selection? Much obliged.

*picks up a large meat cleaver and wields it above her head*

It's just a selection from each menu that we prepare, no worries!

I'm looking forward to the megadonkey, do tell me though, why is it mega?

*comes back from the restaurant*

Well, I have a change of order, the Thai chicken and Ceasar salad was changed to a Megadonkey steak, but the customer still wants the butternut soup... the other customer seems to have fallen asleep, so we'll need to get his food in a doggy bag.

Ms. Footbacon ma'am, I'd have to ask you to leave the kitchens... we're not supposed to let customers in here!
I think so anyway... though of course you _are_ the manager...

*puts the cleaver down, looks at the now disseminated enormous carcass, then at Footbacon*

Is that a trick question?

*continues to prepare a steak and accompaniments, while pondering the soup issue*

Well, i thought it was

ok, its mega...

Well then, since you're here, do you insist on the butternut soup, or would you change it to something from the new menu?

Go on then, I'll take the veggie soup

Yes ma'am. *polite smile* Would you go and sit down now please?

Of course

*reads through orders again and calls waitress*

So that was one soup, pawn cocktail and steak, yes, for Mr 2Legs?

And another steak with some squashed soup for Ms Footbacon?

*checks on steaks and then starts serving the soup*

There you are, two soups, and I squashed some extra butter and nuts into this one.

*places two bowls of steaming hot soup on a tray on the counter and goes back to preparing the pawn cocktail*

Come here you pesky rook, before I en passant you...

*carefully pours 2legs' soup to a tupperware container, puts it in a paper bag and sets it aside, then puts the plate in the dishwasher*

*serves up a pawn cocktail and two steaks the size of large plates, with associated accompaniments*

If anyone wants desserts, I've put the gateau in the fridge and the ice cream in the freezer (oddly enough). I'll be in the bar... er... testing wines to accompany my future meal creations.

*hangs whites up on back of door and heads to the bar*

*wonders in to find out whats happened with his food Great, and its still warm