h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

No one is innocent, to quote Judge Death, "All crime is commited by the living so living itself must be a crime". We are all sinners from the day we are born...just some more sinfull than others...

Don't you think that's a bit nihilistic?

Hey! Stop picking on me
shazz

I'm not. He is.

oh!Ok then It must be all the fumes in here making me paranoid! Come on guys.....spliffs out now please*cough,cough,splutter,wheeze......hmmmmmmm......nice*argh!....now look what's happened!
shazz

But I just had this place aired out last week! It must be the Baron's crack pipe.

Nay! Nevermore!

You're a HARSH MAN, Icarus, to pick on us poor psycho-clowns the way you do! But, as I noted in another forum, I'm outta this rat-race! The madness of POWER no longer appeals to me! I yearn for days of INNOCENCE, scaring the random little kid on the street! Giving old folks apoplexy, in a nice quiet atmosphere!

The strain of this HORRID HATE directed towards a SIMPLE CLOWN who wants to RULE THE WORLD by getting all the plebes ADDICTED TO CRACK has taken it's toll!

I hope you're satisfied, Icky! Look what you've done!

You've BROKEN MY HEART! BROKEN MY SPIRIT!

"Even though your heart is breaking,
Laugh, clown, laugh!"

da Baron

A goldfish in every pocket!

Don't try to play on my sympathies.

Just think, ever since I was a little boy- I wanted to grow-up to be a clown! Not just any clown, but a PSYCHO CLOWN who RULED THE WORLD WITH AN IRON FIST by keeping the population ADDICTED TO CRACK! And what do I find when I try to make my dreams come true?

HATE! CONFLICT! WAR!

Here I sit, a simple clown who wanted no more than to spend a quiet life scaring little children and terrorizing the masses, SIDELINED in the prime of my ambition by those who can't see my VISION! Oh, cruel fate! CRUEL FATE!

I HAD to enter this world of politics, where cold-blooded souls like Icky feed on the dreams and ambitions of a clown! Where all the cute nose-honking, whip-lashings, and debauched orgies a gentleman clown can muster are met with disdane, NAY! OUTRIGHT HOSTILITY by that humourless monster in human form, Icky!

Well, Icky, I hope you're satisfied!

da Baron

You'll be sorry when you try to spend that goldfish now!

My god Baron, are you an actor???...Could you ham it up anymore, I almost feel sorry for ya

This is indeed a sad day!! I feel obliged to devote an entire page to this sorry saga.PS......please return the Mayorial robes and chain of office Baron.....how can we install the next Mayor without them!!
shazz

Which saga, the "Baron runs for office and then quits" saga or the "Baron decides to harass a founding member of the Anti-Stupid Political Party"?

That's IT! I'll stand NO-MORE of this brazen clown-bigotry! I MUST return to the race! I MUST oppose Icarus, in his bid for power! He's MAD!

I can see the future, should Icarus become Mayor. First, he'll outlaw clowns on streetcorners, giving balloons to little children. Then he'll outlaw mimes performing in public parks and such- next thing you know, he's carting stand-up comedians off to the gulags!

NO! It CANNOT BE!

I cannot see my brother-clowns, and cousin-mimes subjected to the horrors or a POGROM initiated by a MADMAN like ICKY!

I must re-take my posistion, TO ARMS CLOWNS! TO ARMS MIMES!

Let us face the prospect of a HOLOCOST with grim determination to NEVER let it happen again! Especially to US!

So Shazz, put my name back on that candidates list! I must stand for office, simply to make sure that Icky's paranoid delusions concerning clowns and mimes ISN'T instituted into government policy!

SAVE THE CLOWNS!

da Baron
A GOLDFISH IN EVERY POCKET!

Yay, the clowns, mimes and don't forget the jesters

3

Clowns are fine. Mimes are okay. Stand-up comedians can stick around. Jesters are also acceptable. But Zombie Crack Mimes are not good role models.

Crackhead-Zombie mimes aren't there to be role models! They're there to scare the shit out of the population and keep them in PLACE! It's to scare little kiddies with "Look, if you don't behave, we'll turn you into one of THOSE!".

How would YOU like to spend your life as a crackhead-zombie, forced to wear MIME makeup? A vacant stare on your face, no hope in life beyond directing traffic in Picadilly or Broadway! Gorschk! Icky! One might as well aspire to be a COP with LESS WAGES and LESS HOPE FOR ADVANCEMENT!

Speaking of zombie-crackhead mimes- anybody seen that spice bitch, whotzzit lately? She's dressing up for halloween already! She's going as a skeleton!

da Baron

A goldfish in every pocket, and no pity for self-destruction!

It's mainly the Crack part that I've got a problem with. I can't condone drug abuse.

I am sorry Baron......but a simple fact of life in English politics is that once withdrawn.......always withdrawn.....unitl the NEXT time!!
Why not consider standing for President of the USA instead....I believe that the race is just starting up it's usual 2 year campaign!!
shazz

*sly look in his eye*

Yeah, and that was the LAST time they had Dick Nixon to kick around, too! hehehehe.

I picked that line for a reason, y'know... hehehe.


Icky, you haven't LIVED until you've had a crackhead come to your door and ask if you want to smoke some with him! LOL! It happened here just day before yesterday!

It'd be rather nice if they all wore mime makeup. Then one would KNOW not to open the door for them. And if you made it legal, well, you'd prolly still have your car stereo if you left your car unlocked in NYC overnight... hehehe.

So yes, I'll stand by making crackheads wear mime.

da Baron
Plenny of goldfish in the sea!