h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... and I just had to share it!!



A Woman was asked.

"When you are a ripe old age, what would you prefer to get

Parkinsons or Alzheimers?"



This wise lady answered. "Definitely Parkinsons.

Better to spill half my wine than to forget where I put the bottle."




A very wise woman, indeed!!



*hic*

My choir holds its committee meetings in a hospital, because they let us rent their board room for a good rate. At the last meeting, we were interrupted by two old ladies wandering in. They appeared rather confused, and eventually we figured out that they were looking for the "Alzheimers Café".

*giggles*


I wasn't one of them, was I?


*hic*

Our Alzheimer Society had to call for an extraordinary general meeting

Yeah, you guessed it

I phoned the police and then I ordered a pizza........................ guess who knocked at the door first?












A Jehovah's witness


Smudger.

I sent it ? when ?

Thanks Lil for sharing the quote.

A man went to the doctor and the doctor said, "I have two pieces of bad news for you. The first is that you have developed incontinence."
"Oh dear," said the man.
"The other thing is that you are developing Alzheimer's."
"That's not so bad! You could have been telling me that I'm becoming incontinent!"

*giggles*

Welcome home, Vestboy

I asked my doctor for a second opinion, he said your still stupid

I asked my what my liver count was

- It's normal. You still only have one

I've just been watching a game of tennis. Have you noticed that every time the ball hits the net a young lad runs on and steals it? They must see him crouching there by the high chair. Why doesn't some-one stop him? It must cost a fortune in tennis balls.

tennis with tomatoes and pies/flans would be a very messy sport indeed

Those young boys are called ball boys, and they are in fact minors. When officials tried to catch one of them stealing the ball, he whipped out his minor's shovel, dug a tunnel and disappeared.

New balls, please?

Sorry, you have to finish with the one's you started with

But they are so worn out there's not a hair left on them