h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm in a bit of a glum patch this evening. Mum called me during the day, which is always a bad sign as she doesn't call me during office hours unless something's happened.

A special old lady has died. Her name was Laine, she was 84 years old and she is the last of the senior generation of Estonian emigres who helped raise me.

Laine was one of a number of adults who were adopted as aunts and uncles by my mother when she was a child. The extended family had been hit badly by the war; the fledgling Estonian community in Adelaide post-1949 developed into informal 'families' as time passed, filling in the gaps. When my sister and I came along we also came to know Imbi, Milda and Karl, Juta and Aksel, and Laine and Evald as our 'aunts and uncles', even though there was no actual direct kinship. They were a supplement to the real aunts, Leni and Paula, and now they're all gone.

For several decades, my grandmother Liis was not on speaking terms with Leni and Paula and their families. (Leni and Paula had their own feuds going too. Sometimes none of the three was speaking to either of the others.) During these periods Laine effectively ran an underground post office, allowing the various cousins to keep in touch with each other without their mothers knowing. This was risky for her as each of the three battleaxes was quite capable of being vicious to her if they'd found out.

Soon after my grandmother's funeral, Laine hosted a dinner party; the guests of honour were Mum, my sister and I; Leni's surviving son; and Paula's son and eldest grandson. Laine was pleased that she'd lived long enough to see the younger generation all gathered in one place and not fighting. This was of course her doing to some significant extent. And there aren't many 80-year-olds who'd have a dinner party for 12 at 36 hours' notice and decline any assistance from anyone...

Laine had many health problems over the last few decades and had a number of chronic conditions, but it was a sudden aneurysm which finally caught her. She felt an intense pain and called herself an ambulance, staying conscious until her sons reached the hospital. Soon after that, she died.

The funeral will be in Adelaide, I'm not sure of the date. I'm going to try to be there.

Goodbye, tädi Laine, and thank you. Puhka rahus - rest in peace.

The last of a generation going is always a big wrench for those that are left - somehow much worse than just the loss of the individual.

Best wishes

adopted aunts and uncles are as close to blood kin as family are. I have an adopted "cousin" and he is more family to me than a real cousin is


respects to all Ivan

Today's youngsters have missed out on those extended families of 'Aunts' and 'Uncles'

You have some wonderful memories Ivan

Thanks everyone.

Sad news indeed. The last one of a generation is a symbol indeed. Soon you will notice that there's a lot of things she was the last one to know.

so sorry for your loss, Ivanand for Laine, R.I.P.

what GB said

I'm so sorry for your loss, Ivan.

R.I.P. Laine

sorry for your loss, Ivan

Very sorry to hear your sad news, Ivan.

So sorry to hear this Ivan. I am sure you will give her a good send off. She sounded a wonderful spirited lady.



Websailor

What a special woman - the "underground post" was a wonderful idea!

I have an auntie who isn't really an auntie, so I know just how you feel about her; she looked after me whenever my parents couldn't. They become as much family as "blood" relatives.

I hope you are able to make it to the funeral, but even if you can't, she will know you are thinking of her.

Laine was indeed a spirited woman, but that generation all were. War, refugee camps, a migration to the other side of the world not knowing anything about the place, the horrors of Australian food as it was in the 40s and 50s before the migrant influence began to be felt... They all got through that. People without spirit and drive just didn't.



I won't be going to the funeral. I was in with a chance if it happened on Monday at the latest, but it will be held on Wednesday. I have to be in Melbourne on Wednesday and Thursday, for a conference. But at least I tried.

The funeral will be on Wednesday because Laine's sons delayed it so Mum's cousins from Sydney could get there. They of course knew her longer than I did, purely by being older; they used to stay with her on visits to Adelaide, as recently as this winter in fact. So it's really nice of Laine's boys to make allowances for the cousins.

I won't be paying much attention at this conference, not on the first day anyway.

we can learn from those with life's experiencesand the memories they give us.
and we can be a better person for knowing them

Agreed, Prof.

Just for the record - even if the funeral had been before Wednesday, I still might not have made it. I had a look at the Qantas website and found that a one-way flight at this short notice would have cost $560. Blimey.

Perhaps you could plant a shrub in your garden, in her memory.

In Laine's case, a better tribute would be to have more impromptu dinner parties.

Now *there's* a thought!