h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The word recession is a euphemism for depression which was used because people thought the word panic was too strong.

The latest euphemism, credit crunch, sounds reassuringly like a breakfast cereal. It is, however, too strong for Peter Mandelson, who according to today's Standard [London newspaper] thinks it should be called a contraction.

Anyone fancy posting further stupid terms for our economic problems here?

financial embarrassment.......your skint

boom and bust........someone got the sums wrong

economic downturn.....prices are too high

five working days.....the computer does it instantly, from the processing center in India

"Economic growth" = Moore's Law

RF

Good stuff, guys, but you can't beat the professionals.

What we're suffering from now is "a slip of the tongue". Take a look at this:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7869748.stm

And here's video footage of that tongue slipping

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9RnnuJlpLE

A wee bit of bother perhaps or borrow from over here and call it the credit troubles?

Housing woes = Renters being turned out in the street despite having paid their rent because their apartment was foreclosed.

Interesting stuff, Eggs and Nerd.

Here in the UK we've had a problem of people buying apartment blocks as a way of raising funds. You buy a block, put down a deposit, borrow the rest and simply leave the country with the money. Leaving any tenants to fend for themselves.

I found a fantastic non-financial euphemism, by the way. "Attained room temperature."

It means "died".

Fantastic example:

"Quantative easing"

It used to be called "debauching the currency" or simply "printing money" when Weimar Germany or Zimbabwe did it.

And it will end in tears. As Keynes put it, "Lenin was right. There is no subtler, no surer means of overturning the existing basis of society than to debauch the currency. The process engages all the hidden forces of economic law on the side of destruction, and does it in a manner which not one man in a million is able to diagnose."