h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I’m sure there must be people who work in Marketing who are also researchers on H2G2 but…….

Why is it that they can put forward, and have accepted, such rubbish?

They invent words that don’t exist, names that are nonsensical and generally do more harm than good!

There are NOT “Thirst pockets” - they are two bits of tissue paper semi-glued together and fluffed out a bit through some factory process.

There are no such things as “Chocolatiers” for example – there are some factory workers who tend machines which make filled or non-filled chocolates.

Any “Marketier” who came up with the name of a shampoo which contains the word Panty, whether it’s 9, 10 or 11 needs their head examined – much as they people who consequently buy the stuff.

And then they assist the world food shortage by sticking various fruit and vegetables into the shampoo – incredible. Are we supposed to eat it or drink it?

I suspect that the various fruit is in fact strange chemicals which remotely smell like the quoted fruit – but if so – why not say so? There is no shame in using something that smells like an Apricot for example – but if Lever Bros. or whoever it is is using actual Apricots they should be shot!

My apologies for ranting but really!

I have to offer this link http://www.consumerist.com/

You are not alone Shhhhhhhh2. I thought I was the only one who mumbled and grumbled at the absolute balderdash given to consumers.

You need all that fruit'n'veg in your shampoo so that you can have an orgasm whilst you're washing your hair. I'd've thought that was obvious.

RF

Ah, I see by RF's post that you have the same bad ads as we have. And the funny thiung is, I can't even recall the name of the shampoo - now that's what I'd call an ad which has failed its purpose

Thank you all - it's sort of comforting to realise it's not just me being grumpy

There's a lot of them about B'EL

Oh - and another thing.....

How can "loins" been on offer at the fish counter of your local supermarket?

Cod , Haddock and other don't actually have loins!

Not that I am suggesting that most supermarkets are money grabbing worms that would sell their own grannies given half the chance of course - Oh no - I'm sure that they have our (faithful customers) best interests at heart - nothing to do with the half a billion pounds profit in 6 months at all

And also......at Edinburgh airport.........vegetarian Haggis!! Good lord - just how can you devise one of them

I know it's the haggis hunting season http://haggishunt.scotsman.com/ right now but........

The shampoo, moisturiser and wrinkle reducing cream stuff is just so hillari-arse these days.... 'pentapeptides specically formulated to visably reduce teh four signs of aging...'... In terms of shampoo I had to give in and start using lorry oil as I'm worthless Does having fruit and veg in your shampoo count towards the five portions of fruit and veg a day thing? Anybody know why, on the adverts for 'anti ageing', 'anti wrinkle' cream stuff why they only ever seem to use people who're about 20 years old and in absolutely no need of any such cream?

This reminds me of a dead ringer sketch...hang on... this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KM4J3xkcRI

The product kills 99% of household germs. Right
Now explain again how quickly germs reproduce?

perhaps 9 out of 10 germs comefrom the other 1% ?

Loved the dead ringers sketch - trouble is - it's so close to the thruth