h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

After watching Battle Royale to many times I now assume any Japanese people I see are going to try and kill me. Does anybody else have this problem?

They are. Trust me. And everyone thinks I'm mad. It true, whenever I hear those* guys talking outide I just know its the yacusa getting ready for a big days activity.... And thats without even thinking about the mafia guys who hang out in the Chinese take away up the Road. I'd also like to think that my reserves of garlic, holy water, crucifix's, silver bullets and plenty and plenty of shotgun cartridges and my handy pump action near the side of the bed are just logical prepeartions in case of Vampire, wearwolf, or zombie attack... and remember, its not a question of if, but of when

I've worked out how to fortify the town centre shopping centre in case of zombie attack. Seriously, I've planned out where to put barricades and where I'd sleep.

Living in Camden I'm already under seige by a smacked-up chavvie army. There have been three murders within a five minute walk of the flat since Christmas, one of them in the street outside the flat.

I live where even Triads fear to tread.

I know what you mean.... Its always good in my book to be prepared. I mean, I've worked out all the angles of lines of sight up this road, from wehre you can shoot to where, etc., and exactly how it'd be best to baracde off this road, whilst including as many of the useful shops in the area as possible and they think we're paranoid... I tell ya, they'l not be laughing at us any longer when the attack comes, we'l be prepared but they won't...

I did the zombie thing years ago... I even worked out that the balcony of my flat would be a perfect place for taking potshots from relative safety... plus the fact that I could theoretically get to the nearest supermarkets without touching the ground meant I wouldn't go hungry either.

After watching Arachnophobia when I was a kid I now have to check behind the toilet bowl every time I take a dump, in case there's a tarantula behind there.

Okay... I'll give you the zombie thing, but now you're scaring me...

It'll happen to you now, next time you go to the toilet. You'll start thinking "is there a spider hiding down there just out of sight?" and then you'll have to check.

I do have to admit that after playing Silent Hill I didn't like being in a dark room on my own.

That car.... over there in the street... its been parked up there for ages... BoB damn it, they've put me under survelance again

Maybe you should sit in your front garden in just a thong... that'll get rd of 'em!

Oh my Bob! I don't have a front garden! they've stolen it! *goes on to the balcony to chekc the line of fire to the observation car

There's supposed to be a new Silent Hill film coming out soon.

Most certainly, I watched Texas chainsaw Massacre, and wiped out most of the neighborhood before I ran out of petrol.

After watching Evil Dead 2 I chopped my hand off, just in case it was possessed. Turned out it wasn't. The hospital staff told me it was just normal.

After watching Evil Dead 2 I chopped my hand off, just in case it was possessed. Turned out it wasn't. The hospital staff told me it was just normal.

Don't you just hate it when that happens, it took me bloody ages to grow a new foot.

I didn't mind. Turns out the stump is quite useful.

it is? may I be so bold to ask why?

I make sure I've continully got the flu.

Every time I see new cracks in the road or cries of "Ooooooh - aaaar" in the night, I s**t myself.

I've started digging a new civilisation in my back garden. Anyone want to help?