h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hiya all who reads this...This was an email i recieved,just thought i'd share it with you all

AS I MATURE........

1)As i mature i've learned that you cannot make someone love you,All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..

2)I've learned that no matter how much i care,Some people are just @ssholes.

3)I've learned that it takes years to build up trust,,and it only takes suspicion,Not proof,to destroy it

4)I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.After that you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs..(hope i dont get modded for that one).

5)I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself tp others....They are more screwed up than you think..


6)I've learned that we are responsible for what we do,Unless we are celebrities.

7)Ive learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,the passion fades,and there had better be alot of money to take its place.

8)I've learned that 99% of the time when something in your house goes wrong,one of your kids did it>

9)I've learned that people you care about the most in life are taken away from you too soon,and all the less important ones just never go away.

Pass this on to 5friends,...trust me they'll appreciate it..Who knows,MAYBE something good will happen......
If not .....tough Sh**

I thought this was quite amusing for a boring wednesday..

And a few more words of advice...

When lying on tour deathbed, you will regret the things you didn't do more than the things you did. This does not include provoking wasp nests.

Never trust anyone who calls himself 'uncle' who isn't your uncle.

Never follow any advice you read on the Internet.

Never eat in any place called "Mom's"

Graffitti are like penises - the more you rub them out, the greater they get.

Any attempt to exploit Murphy's Law will fail due to the nature of the Law.

Hope that helps everybody,
Uncle Apollyon