h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[YC and YQ are chattering away with each other about, simultaneously, everything and nothing at all, over a copy of "The Ultimate Hitch Hiker's Guide". Nerfal is looking around cautiously. A crackling, cosy fire burns in the corner. Out the windows, the snow is falling thickly. A mirror dominates one wall; other living room-like clutter fills the room.]

Hello!
Wow - I must say that I had quite a journey getting here, but it was worth every second.

Yo, d00dz

[Mewtwo] }Greetings.{

[Vekura] {Now what are we going to do here?}

[YC] Hey, don't look at me!

[YQ] Me, neither! We're as in the dark as you are!

[YC] YK said come, so we came.

[YQ] No idea why.

[YC] Only to discover we can't meet Prof. Rethlin yet ...

[YQ] ... because he wanted some /lobster?/

[The mirror starts rippling like water. Burton pops out]

[Burton] YK will only announce their presence when all the guests are here.

[Burton flies out of the house]

[YC and YQ] [in stereo] "Their"?

[The mirror stops rippling]

[Nerfal] That happened when Burton went /in/ whatever that room was.

*Affy enters, glad that he was wearing his marching band jacket during the trip*

Man, it's cold out there.

*Looks around room*

Nice place. Nicer than out there, really.

[YC] Humans are constantly stating and restating ...

[YQ] Slowly and painfully working out ...

[YC] ... the very, very ...

[YQ] ... the surprisingly ...

[Both] OBVIOUS.

[Nerfal] They've both been acting like that since we got here.

[Mewtwo] }Speaking with that synchronisis, eh?{

[Vekura] {I haven't known them to do that.}

[Mewtwo] }Of course, we haven't known them in any fora, really...{

[Nerfal] No, they don't usually synch words like that.

*E & PP sit down on the sofa & look around......*

*Sits down, and passes the time by singing an ancient dwarvish tune"


Hi-ho
Hi-ho
It's off to work we go...

[YC] Hmm ... is that an ancient Dwarvish tune I hear?

[YQ] Or is it a rather recent American tune I hear?

[Vekura] {It's recent-ish and American.}

[YC] Figures...

[BR-10 enters]

[Burton] YK will get here only after Paul Prefect actually posts in this forum.

*realises that they actually want him to prove that he's here... *

Well... I *was* with E when she said we were sitting down onto the sofa... honest....

*looks around* Well... I'm definitely here now...

*looks at E and smiles *

[At that moment, the mirror starts rippling again. YK enters through it.]

[YK] [back through the mirror] -- fine.

[YC] What's fine?

[YK] This is. [gestures around at everything] The whole situation.

[YQ] What /is/ the situation?

[YK] A perfectly safe one.

[YC and YQ] SANTA ZARQUANA VOOSTRA!

[YC] So zarking --

[YC and YQ] -- PERFECTLY SAFE --

[YQ] -- that you have to set us up with a bunch of zarking --

[YC and YQ] -- STEALTH SHIPS --

[YC] -- to go to this uncharted planet --

[YQ] -- in an unknown system --

[YC] -- at obscure coordinates --

[YQ] -- coming from all over six ways from Sunday --

[YC] -- our respective planets --

[YQ] -- so we can meet you and this --

[YC and YQ] -- PROFESSOR RETHLIN --

[YC] -- of yours.

[YQ] Only we don't get to meet him yet because he took a detour --

[YC] Is this right?

[YQ] -- to pick up some --

[YC and YQ] -- LOBSTER!?

[They both calm down slightly]

[YC] Okay, so the guy's cool, but, --

[YQ] -- I mean, c'mon, own up. This is barking time.

[YC] This is major lunch.

[They get excited again]

[YQ] This is puce hypothenuse!

[YC] This is spherical pizza cube!

[YQ] This is stool approaching critical mass!

[YC] This is half-baked weasel on a bun with French fries!

[YQ] This is --

[YC] This is --

[YC and YQ] -- TOTAL VOCABULARY FAILURE!!!

[YQ] [to YC] Shut UP! We're FLANGING!

[There is a moment's pause as the two clowns -- er, clones -- draw the Force, calming energy, and bemused glances to themselves from the room around them]

[Nerfal] I think you two have just summed up the situation precisely.

I've got a bad feeling about this.


Sorry, I couldn't resist.

[Mewtwo] }I'm glad you made it.{

[Vekura] {I'm glad *we* made it.}

[Mewtwo] }So what is this...{

[Vekura] {...all about?}

[YK] Well, it all began back when I first joined the H2G2 and became known as "Adolescent white American male who likes 47." Professor Rethlin said that this was a bit too long, and being a smartass is therefore not the only reason I made it the same as I did in ARSE.

[Nerfal] Wasn't that about the same time there was that Designer People scare?