h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi

know that this is linked to the back up question from H2G2, however I am trying to find out what boy's think they need to do to become a man. So far my research with adolescent boys has lead to some suprising findings.

It would be good to have some thoughts from the Great British public on this.

What do you think a boy needs to do to become a man?

any thoughts greatfully recieved

1 Try not to be judgemental

2 Look up the definition of 'humility'

3 Develope good manners

4 Be considerate

5 be prepared to step up to the plate

Novo

Bugger!

So what does that make me then?

....

You could try this
If it's useful, you might pass on some of your surprising findings...?

http://www.kipling.org.uk/poems_if.htm

In a word: maturity.

Some boys become men way ahead of time, some remain boys until the day they die.

Getting older. I know men who aren't any of the (very positive) things listed here, and different people have very divergent ideas about what maturity means.

But, given the spirit of the question, Novo's list is a nice start for how to be a decent person of any gender. I perhaps have a way to go on this myself yet, but I would add that I think growing up tends to involve gaining sense of perspective. The troubles that bother you as a boy often turn out to be small things that you'll laugh at later.

I think the humility one is especially relevant. It's important to understand the relative significance of things, and realise that you are generally quite insignificant. The next step is to learn to accept that.

Also I tend to think that 'growing up' involves realising how few absolutes there are, and being comfortable with that. For example, I know someone who struggles with the notion that morality is not necessarily absolute, so, say, there is nothing objectively wrong with bigamy. It's just that it can be problematic, so it's generally avoided. This way of thinking is, I think, a mark of maturity. I think that makes sense .

Learning to love someone more than you love yourself.

True, McKay and additionally perhaps seeking to make oneself worthy of love...

Benevolence and insight in equal measure

How many roads must a man walk down?

When you know how to

1) Put others before yourself when necessary,
2) take responsibility for your acts and omissions,
3) find a compromise when you disagree with someone, and
4) apologise when you are wrong, then you are a long way towards becoming a man.

sprout

I don't know what makes him. But the Daniel Craig in Casino Royale makes a very good man to my way of thinking.

the 007 Daniel Craig I meant to say...

'What makes a man?'
A penis and a beard. Perhaps a moustache at a push. And a hat.

...and in the 2legs vein...

A Y chromosome and some testosterone.

More sensibly, I agree with the comments made above although you can keep Daniel Craig. Particularly I would say the wisdom to know that respect is earned and cannot be demanded and also that it is far better not to fight and far harder to make peace (you never hear of sporadic peace or peace breaking out).

t.

sorry... I had to say it... after all I'm a man (allegely) ... male sense Of humour?

I think I have that male sense of humour thing too, 2legs.

What does that make me then?

Lucky ??


Novo

Not caring about being a man but caring about what you do and those around.

A mans worth comes from within not the praise of his fellows. As it does for the other gender too.

Thank you to all who replied to this post.

the surprising results that I found during my research with young men included:-

Not having sex, but making love. That is thinking about your partner, pleasing them and having an experience that is more than "wet biology"

Accepting who you are, and celebrating the potential that you have rather than trying to be something that you are not and never achieving it.

Knowing and accepting your limits of alcohol, strength, relationships, speed and life. In developing these limits it is sometimes required that they exceed them to confirm their boundaries.

Being responsible - that was accepting blame if it is deserved or not; looking out for others, not always physically but with relationship, time, love and money; understanding the implication of ones one actions and accepting those.

The conclusion was that each young man needs to travel their own pathway to manhood, but that key events are recognised and celebrated by others with them.

there was a large amount of resonance between their thinking and yours - so thank you all