h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Working within a supermarket. - A1140625
Author: reg/petro - U225598

A discription of some of the various types of employment that are to be found within the confines of a supermarket.

Looks like an interesting entry, although all the first-person references will have to removed before it can be recommended (see Writing-Guidelines No.12 Avoid Writing in the First Person)

Here's a search page which offers up a bunch of other related entries which you can link to:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/Search?searchstring=supermarket&showapproved=1&showsubmitted=1&searchtype=article&dosearch=Search+the+Guide


Scout

Editing apart - eg, "of cause" as opposed to "of course" - I read through the entire article despite the pressing need for a gin, a tonic and another cig. This woz coz it was so true as to be appallingly, deppressingly funny.

Having spent the last 30+ years in 'posh' to not-at-all 'posh' jobs, I've found that the behavioural patterns outlined are universal. Only the style changes - ie, the less overt = the 'posher' the company, and vice versa. However, scratch the surface ...

Wot I don't see is why people people get so carried away with their own importance. Many don't seem to have much humour in that direction or perhaps I've been too caught up with my own wonderful, unique qualities to see it. Oh sh**. Wot, moi? Never!

Spot the deliberate mistake. That'll teach me not to bother with the preview feature.

Its a good informative article. Some work needs to be done on the sentences and there are a few spelling mistakes. I'd think an editor could sort it out quite easily.

The 1st person reference need to be got rid of as well.


There are some random commas in some places e.g "The only position, which makes the general assistants, feel important." (the paragraph on trolley workers"

Some of the sentences are a bit long-winded and lose their way and so need working on a bit. For example:

"A much abused, underrated and looked over position. With the same level of pay as a general assistant and having normally originated from this area, the back door person, (no jokes please), these people have to contend with all of the days deliveries, clean and maintain the warehouse, deal with waste, and all with the minimum of human contact throughout the day."

This should be rewritten as 3 and not 2 sentences with the 3rd sentence perhaps beginning with 'These people'.
Although I don't like the term.

Also should be contend with customers not 'content with'.

Till workers
"Saying this, as this is the largest single section within the store, with a fairly even mixture between the sexes (whereas the rest of the store does tend to be largely male orientated), there should be plenty of opportunities in which to meet other people, especially if you are able to do a quite shift."

Another long sentence that ought to be split up. And it should be a quiet (not quite ) shift.

Night team
More long sentences that lose their structure. Near the end you've use your when it should be you're.

Skilled worker
"they are all higher paid, then the general assistants,"
than not then. and those commas are random. They're all higher paid than the general assistants . . . no need for a comma after paid.

I wouldn't lump the customer service in with the fish and deli folks. Its not a similar kind of work.

Oh . .. and the title.
How about something about 'Supermarket jobs and their heirarchy'
since you do point out the relative position the different roles have.

And my opinion would be that a general worker is slightly above a trolley boy.

reg petro I note you haven't posted anything in five weeks. Please confirm you haven't had a disasterous IT meltdown .

I liked this entry , but as noted, it needs some editing. When you have had a chance to fiddle with the entry, or you have any queries, post a line in this conversation.

Pimms

I know reg/petro seems to come to h2g2 quite infrequently... we might be in for a little wait, but hopefully it will be worth it - there's the makings of an excellent EG entry here.

Care for a while we wait, Pimms?

It may be we'll have time for a few s, though they are high in calories.

I must be careful with my diet - nearly 10lbs lost since mid June .

No problem with virtual aperitifs of course

Pimms

I'll see your 10lbs and raise you another 7 - it's great, isn't it, slimming? I'm back to the same size I was when I was 21, and am wearing t-shirts I've not been able to get into for years... mutual backslapping and virtual all round!

Right then, firstly, i haven't had any major computer melt downs, and my computer is still working more or less, (thanks for the concern though). I just take a long time in replying or writting anything, I'm afraid that i am rather lazy when it comes to actually writting anything down in the internet. I have been able to edit this entry, but getting it onto the web, and altering the one that you can now see, has been a slight problem. Ihope that the edited version, (assuming that anyone ever gets to see it), meets all of the requirments, and is slightly better, than the previous version. This whole first person thing, does annoy me slightly, but if thems the rules...
Anyway, hope that the weight loss goes well, and that you don't get too drunk on all those virtual drinks. Personally I prefer the full fat, more tangiable variaty, but still. Ahh well, thats all for now, and I hope to get this computer thing to do what i want it to again, (i swear computers hate me). Bye for now Reg/Petro.

have at last posted an edited version of the suermarket employment thing, i hope that it is slightly better and has less mistakes in it than the first attempt did. I hope that it meets with peoples approval. bye for now, Reg/Petro.

r/p I have some reservations about your entry I hope this doesn't come across too negatively, as I'd like to see you get this in the EG.

I still like the content , but feel the phrasing needs more than a little overhauling to read easily.

Are you prepared to rewrite, (specifically) pruning and shortening the sentences? If not then, if it gets recommended, and a sub-ed is willing to take it on, I warn you that they are likely to be maul it around a bit .

Pimms
(typo: fletched > fledged)

Reg seems to have left the building - back to entry?

I refer the honourable lady to the answers I gave recently in the other posts

Ditto