h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, I read it in PR, but it still makes me laugh on the Front Page.

Nicely done, Felonius.

My personal mondegreen: "Cooking makes you thinner" from Fun Lovin' Criminals 'Big Night Out'. Actual line: "Cocaine makes you thinner".

B

Have to agree, it's brill

Was surprised at there being no mention of Jimi Hendrix's one from Purple Haze, but I missed this in PR so it;s mere nitpicking!

Yeah, I'm quite surprised not to see 'kiss this guy' up there.

B

Tears rolling down my cheecks at the Alf Garnett bit....

Wasn't there entire rounds of Never Mind the Buzzcocks based on this?

Yes indeed. I vividly remember Phil Juptitus re-interpreting the bridge of Meatloaf's 'Dead Ringer For Love' as being about penguins.

B

...and a barrel of fudge and a straw

from Swords of a thousand men

... and now I have the label to classify someone's amblyopic ursine companion!


Gladly thy cross-eyed bear ... is a Mondegreen! Yay!

Not forgetting the bit in the carol about the fat bloke who'd never had sex:

Round John Virgin...

B

Ah, Never Mind the Buzzcocks... Does anyone else remember the "Sweet Roland falls in Brie" bit from Wuthering Heights as interpreted by Phill Jupitus? Does anyone know what the real words are?

"Out on the wiley, windy moors
We'd roll and fall in green
You had a temper, like my jealousy
Too hot, too greedy
How could you leave me
When I needed to possess you?
I hated you, I loved you too"

I have to say, though, Kate Bush has never been interpreted as well as by Steve Coogan.

B

wiley?

Erm - that should've be 'winding'. Don't quite know how that happened.

B

Thanks for all the nice comments.

I suppose the wiley moors are overrun by coyotes......

B

You had distemper, like my jellied eels...

Personal favourite Mondegreen-
Beelzebub has a devil for a sideboard me, me, me.......

'Max Miller, no!'

The best one was Blur's Song 2

"Is there any jam?"

As interpreted by Sean Hughes

"There is freedom within, there is freedom without. Try to catch Italians in a paper cup."

Karen Carpenter warns that "Love will leave you with a broken arm".

The Bee Gees think "You came to me in a submarine" in the appropriately titled 'How deep is your love'.

Radio 1 used to do these a lot about 12 or 13 years ago; they called them twisted lyrics. They stopped abruptly as if someone had complained...

Not to mention Shania Twain: "I can't believe you kiss your **** at night".

F

Well there has to be mention (so I'm mentioning it now) of the Mondegreen that became official: Iron Butterfly's "Innagaddavida". For a band to change the song title rather than admit the singer was too polluted to be understood.

My personal Mondegreen was Stevie Ray Vaughn singing about a mall south of the (Texas) border. I was blissfully humming along about "Mexico Shoppin'" Until someone corrected me and now I know "That's a Cold Shot, babe."
My uncle always loved that Creedence Clearwater Revival song about the "Bathroom on the right".

Also, try finding a copy of the "actual" lyrics to Pearl Jam's "Yellow Ledbedder", You never knew ANY of the words to that song.

I'm glad you gave me new term for these, Felonious. Nice article.

Count Zero, now humming "she's gotta chicken to ride, my baby donkey"

Another relative of Lady Mondegreen is Lieutenant Kije (as in Prokofiev's music - Sleigh Ride, etc).

Russian officials were giving the Tsar a war briefing, and had advised him that victory was due to "brave lieutenants, who charged the enemy".

In Russian, "...lieutenants, who ..." is pronounced "... leftenantki je ...". Unfortunately, the Tsar heard "leftenant Kije", and insisted on knowing all about this amazing hero. Rather than correct the Tsar, his courtiers constructed a fake biography, a fake family tree, fake marriage certificates, etc ... creating a fictional Lieutenant Kije and his family. The poor guy had to be "killed off" in a tragic accident shortly before the Tsar called him to court! This (many years later) so amused Prokofiev that he wrote a suite of music around the "hero".