h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Today I was getting ready to go out to a place that I'd never travelled to before and chickened out. I asked for help from my family to support me in this trip but alas was dissapointed that nobody helped. Now the tables have turned and they've gone out to lunch. They asked me to go but feeling rather disapointed in this morning's episode I refused.

What has happened, Opti? I don't quite follow. Why didn't they support you? Why didn't you go out with them? I hope you're feeling ok...

well I wanted to go out to a fete the otherside of the county in which I live and nobody would come with me. As a new driver I'm scared of taking the wrong turnings etc. So I feel nobody was supportive of me...as they didn't want to come too. I felt if i went out to lunch with them i'd be saying 'its ok to do what you want and i'll support you but if i need help its ok you dont need to bother'.

That's a real shame, if you've just got mobile but aren't confident enough to drive off on your own. It might be worth you taking a couple of afternoons to explore in your car - I love setting off with only a rough idea where I'm going, because then it doesn't matter too much if I take a wrong turning or two. Have you spoken to your family, to let them know that you still feel nervous driving on your own?

If going out with them would have made you feel uncomfortable and more upset, I reckon you've done the right thing. Going out under protest could easily have made the situation worse, though you have to be careful not to make it a massive issue that could grow into a full-blown row. Maybe you should have a chat with them about how you're feeling when they get back?

Hi Opti

Ok, this may be a long-ish reply but here goes for what it's worth.

1) As you are a new driver confidence is something that will come with practice and experience. In order to reduce the "negative" aspects there are certain things you can do that will ensure a/ your safety and b/ help boost confidence.

2) Pre-plan your route, with alternatives. Use the various online route planners for example, most are reasonably good. I personally don't like sat nav gizmo's as I find them distracting to be honest but thats a matter of personal preference.

3) Make sure things like, the car has plenty fuel, are you a member of a breakdown organisation?,mobile phone, fully charged with credit, (leave switched off unless actually needed to preserve battery life also resists temptation to answer while driving). If you need to call on a breakdown organisation make sure they know you are a lone female, lone females and those deemed vulnerable get priority assistance.

4)Have spare fluids on board, eg. bottled water. Always have a car rug/blanket to hand and a coat stashed in the boot, just in case. Be aware of what to do in the event of a breakdown or accident. Have some sort proof ID on you, (you'll be amazed at time lost when I attended accidents or incidents in my former police role, just trying to find the identity of those involved), if you're on any regular medication make sure to carry a list in purse or handbag, could be a lifesaver.

If you're going to be out for the day leave a note at home of where you're going, the approx. route taken, estimated times.

Just taking a few simple precautions can make all the difference, it means you can go out, get the experience of driving as well as boosting confidence.

Some of the above may appear "over the top" but anything that helps boost confidence and get's you more experienced behind the wheel can only be good.

Hope this helps a little. Have fun.

Thanks Skanky and ST for your encouragement. I'll be sure to put that useful advice in to practice. If only my family were more supportive I'd soon get more confidence, but then again am I being selfish?

Not knowing the background to family etc. I wouldn't like to say or advise one way or the other to be honest Opti. I don't think selfish comes into it though, if all you've done is ask for help and it's not been forthcoming then it's only natural to either go elsewhere or feel hurt/ignored. I assume bf wasn't interested either then? That would have been an obvious line of support I would have thought but then I have some pretty old fashioned ideas on that so won't go into that here.

For me, it would be a case of, ok, take the precautions and then take bull by the horns and go for it. It's amazing how quickly your confidence will increase, believe me.

My bf isn't in the county where I live. I did phone him though and he saw my point of view. Part of me really did want to just get on with it and get out there but another part of me was worried that in doing so I may have taken a wrong turning and had an accident.

*I may have taken a wrong turning and had an accident.*

That applies local to where you live. Lets face it, you can be in an accident crossing your own street let alone in your car. On that basis you wouldn't go anywhere, full stop.

Who travels to who where the bf is concerned then? If he's out of the county do you rely on him coming to you? Sounds to me like an ideal opportunity for you to get some driving experience by going to him especially as that means going beyond your own locality.

One other thing you could do which is a sensible option, is get hold of some 'P' plates and put on your car. Indicates new driver and they do tend to keep the idiots away from you and allow a bit of leeway from more experienced drivers.

Experience and boosting confidence won't happen overnight but with a few simple steps/precautions it's amazing how quickly you gain both.

blimey, starting to sound like my CPN in therapy here. Shame I don't take my own advice of late innit.?

I've the same problem I can play the agony aunt but taking my own advice is harder to swallow.

Yes I admit. Guilty. My bf usually drives to me. I am due to go to his next weekend but he suggests the train may be preferable.

As for 'p' plates ...according to my family...my sis refused to wear them after people tormented her with them on. Not trying to sound to big for my boots but I like to think that I am just as good as everyone else or at least getting there.

I'm sure you are right

I'll invoke my late mother's saying here, "don't do as I do, do as I say" (sometimes followed up with a clip round the ear )


Catch you later, take care.

Follow ST's advice and you will be fine.
You wont have an accident the odds are against it and you are old enough and clever enough to go out on your own.
Remember if you were not good enough you would not have passed your test.

Hi Opti, if you are a bit insecure about driving, you can get one of those green "P" stickers for your car. They show that you have just passed your trst, so experienced drivers "should" back off and give you room
As mentioned earlier you can print out a Route Finder from the AA or RAC web sites, just type AA Route Finder into Google

We have just bought a sat-nav recently, and its really good, as it gives you visual and audio instructions, in fact you can set it to zoom in when you come to things like roundabouts of junctions, that gives you a much clearer picture of where you are going on the screen

Smudger.

route planner to Ponte, who needs anywhere else to go

to add to all this I've gone and lost my mobile

Where did you last see it?

ring the number, if it's in the house you'll hear it

I remember sliding it into my brown bag a few days ago. I think the phone will be switched off.

ah! that's one idea out the window