h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Remember "I" before "E" except in Budweiser. Yes Beer Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 BC. You've got to feel sorry for people who don't drink, that's the best they're going to feel all day.Seriously when I read all about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. 24 Hours in a day, 24 bottles of beer in a case. Coincidence? I think not. When we drink we get drunk. When we get drunk we fall asleep. When we fall asleep we commit no sin. When we commit no sin we go to heaven. Sooooooo Let's all get drunk and go to heaven.Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. To some it's a six pack, to others a support group, salvation is a can.Surely you all know the buffalo theory?

Hi hun

I guess i found this one too lol
I just love what you have wrote on this thread, i think it is really
I agree with you on that one about drink, but i can't get drunk at all.
With me taking the seizures, i have to go easy, even then i don't take note from the doc lol
Anyway saying that i am an i have always been a lol
What is the buffalo theory, cos i havent heard of it before?

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way,the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacke the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficent machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

Wow Tony

You sure do know your stuff lol
Do you know something you could be a brain expert, cos you seem to know a lot about them
Oh and not forgetting thr beer lol
Where did you learn all this anyway, did you study it or something?
It sure does one thing disgussing that, well you learn everyday lol
Oh and the poor buffalo's that's not fair, they need to make more buffalo's when they can't have any more themselves.
I hope that you understand this what i have wrote, cos i am just pointing out how cruelty nature is.
Anyway i will have to go for now, and i hope that you get back to me soon.
Take care
xx*NATS*xx

Brain expert? Well I have been trying to find one for years. When the brains were been handed out they said to me do you want a brain or want, I misheard and said what?

Hi Tony

So you said what lol
But you really wanted to say want.
I had a bad night lastnight, well early hours this morning.
I woke up at 6:35 and i was violently
I passed out twice, and had a seizure aswell.
My cousin had to go to work, and i am on my own and scared.
The reason why i'm scared, cos i don't like being alone when i'm
I eventually got to sleep after 9:00am, and when i woke up i found my face all swollen.
So in other words i woke up with a gum boil.
I hope it goes down before Friday, cos i'm going to London on Friday.

Hi Tony

So you said what lol
But you really wanted to say want.
I had a bad night lastnight, well early hours this morning.
I woke up at 6:35 and i was violently
I passed out twice, and had a seizure aswell.
My cousin had to go to work, and i am on my own and scared.
The reason why i'm scared, cos i don't like being alone when i'm
I eventually got to sleep after 9:00am, and when i woke up i found my face all swollen.
So in other words i woke up with a gum boil.
I hope it goes down before Friday, cos i'm going to London on Friday.

Very sorry to hear of your illness. Hope you have recovered. It sounds quite serious. I don't like being alone either when I'm ill, I don't think many people do like it. Quite busy myself this weekend. I am a Freemason and we have donated two invalid carts to a local shopping centre and we have the presentation cermony this weekend. Also a friend is getting me a mobile so I'm going over there to find out how to work it. I've held off for years, detesting the things, but it's got to the stage now where you have to have one.
Goosd wishes for your health

Tony

I feel absolutely pooped and i havent done a thing.
I am snuggled on the couch, with loads of cushions around me.
I admire you for helping the invalid, i think that is so kind of you.
So you are getting a mobi then, i use to have 2 but one is completely dead.
I have a nokia 3310, and the other one was a panasonic BT cellnet.
They come in handy especially when you are but my family can't come, cos they have all gone out for the day.

The thing is there's nothing on the box worth watching either, huh?
My great comfort in my If ever I'm ill, she always makes me feel better with a wagging tail and a wet nose. The that is, not me.

That made me wneh i read that lol
I use to have a dog, but i had to get her put to sleep.
She got cancer and was very snappy.
I have had many dog's in my life, especially our Rover.
He use to come and sit by me, evertime i was
He was a good dog, he use to do all kinds of tricks.
Are you sure it's the dog that has got a wet nose lol
Oh you are right about nothing on the telly, and it just goes to show how much you pay for the licence aswell.

That made me wneh i read that lol
I use to have a dog, but i had to get her put to sleep.
She got cancer and was very snappy.
I have had many dog's in my life, especially our Rover.
He use to come and sit by me, evertime i was
He was a good dog, he use to do all kinds of tricks.
Are you sure it's the dog that has got a wet nose lol
Oh you are right about nothing on the telly, and it just goes to show how much you pay for the licence aswell.

Good, I'm glad I made you laugh, you sounded so down.

You know, if Buzz Lightyear doesn't know he's a toy, then how come he doesn't talk when humans are around?

What did the nought say to the eight?
I like your belt.
*
Why do firemen wear red braces? To keep their trousers up

My mother in law lost two stone while out swimming, I don't know why, I tied them on tight enough.

very much for making me
That is the first time i have smiled since i got up.
I am still feeling yuck, but i am glad that you have made me again lol
I wish that i could watch a video, but i can't cos my cousin as set the tape for his programmes to watch.
I could go in the bedroom, but i don't know how to use that one.
It is so complicated to understand, so i have got to make do and read a book or something.

Have you tried Shakespeare's latest. I believe he's got a real good humdinger out. A real page turner.
had to dash, lots of work to do.
Going home at 5
Thank God, it's been one of those days.

Hi Tony

I havent read any of shakespears books before, i havent really got the time.
But today i have lol
I understand with you working, so there's no need to appologise
Well i am glad that i got back to you, before you go home.
for being there for me, aswell as making me you are
Anyway you take care of yourself
xx*NATS*xx

The bit about Shakespeare was ajoke. have you read his latest? He's been dead centuries. I don't think he could have written anything lately, do you?
Anyway
Keep smiling.

Hi Tony

What are you like winding me up
You have got me laughing again, so for making me smile
Anyway i will let you go, and i will catch you soon
Take care aswell.
xx*NATS*xx

Been very busy all day, but as I've logged on with ernest just had to wish you all the best and hope you're feeling better now. You say your coming to London for weekend? Hope you like the city, I don't really, but have a good weekend. I shouldn't really say I dislike London as I'm a Cockney, but when you work here so much it is nice to get out into the country side.
A bit of cockney slang for you;
You wanna take a ball down the frog to the rubba for a pigs? You know the one, be the OXO. We can thumb through the drapers.
Translation;
Do you want to take a walk down the road to the pub for a beer? You have knowledge of the hostery, it is the one beside the tube station. While there we can read the newspaper.
Not back at work now until odd hours at weekend before ceremony. Good luck

Hi Tony

I am so for the delay, but i ended up in hospital.
That gum boil i thought i had, well it turned out to be a cyst and it is infected aswell.
I ended up in hospital with it, and having an operation to remove it.
I also had to have 2 perfectly good teeth taken out, to clear all the yuck out.
My cheek puffed out that much, it closed my eye and i couldn't open it for over a day.
I have to go back within a week, to get it checked out.
I am so much in pain i can't hardly sleep, and when i do sleep well i have to sit up.
I can't lie down at all, cos it hurts that bad, and if i do lie down the infection will rise to my eye again.
Now i don't want that to happen, cos it will close my eye yet again.
I tried to post on this thread for ages lastnight, but it kept on giving me the blue box.
So i just hope that this one sends, cos i don't want to get all frustrated again.
I have been to London before many a time, and i think it is wonderful and so expensive, espcialy Harrods.
I have been to Elephants Castle, Forest Hill, Knightsbridge, Buckingham Palace and many more i cant seem to remember.
Anyway i am wittering on here like an old woman here, so i will go for now and hope to chat soon.
So you take care
xx*NATS*xx
Oh for thinking of me, and making me laugh yet again.