h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Best use of a Wooden Mallet for Greater Good of the World

Excellent category but some of the vampires on the dark side are calling foul. They say they aren't stake holders in this.

Right we now need some nominations.

I'd like to nominate Joe DiMaggio. Not that I know anything about the guy, but he did use a wooden what-not, didn't he? And, as I've heard, he used it good. But then again, he was married to Marilyn Monroe, which could be considered an award in it self, eh?

Nomination accepted.

we have an anonymous nomination for Peter Cushing.

But he's dead too. I wish we could give an award to a living person for a change. But who are we to try to effect the nominations...

I'd like to nominate Washuu from the Anime "Tenchi Muyo!" She was the first scientist to prove the existance of HammerSpace, the place where Cartoon Characters take wooden mallets from, and where they go back to after the Malleting is done. The discovery of HammerSpace, (Not Related to "Hammer Time!") is obviously a massive step forward in human evoloution.

I'll second that. Or, rather, since I've already nominated someone else; third that.

Another anonymous nomination:
Thor - though I think the person was not too good on their Norse mythology.

Okay, so we got Washuu, an anime character, Thor a fictional character for religious purpose, and a baseball player, and I'm not quite they really exist either. I think the voting can begin now.

The nominations so far are:
Joe DiMaggio
Peter Cushing
Washuu
Thor

Please let those votes role in. Once again you have 10 points to be cast as you wish - all for one or spread them about.

And no sealed, secret ballots this time - everyone has to vote in whole units and use all 10 points.

I'll give all 10 to Washuu 'cause she'll beat the snot outta me if I don't.

Washuu - 10

Peter can have my 10, yes all of 'em.

8 for Peter, 2 for Joe. I don't think it wise to call Thor's hammer (the one with the outrageous name) a wooden mallet. Thunderstruck?

BTW, what happened to the Queen of Hearts? "Off with his head!"

Do you propose the QoH as a late nomination?

I was just about to vote but it looks like I’d better hang on for the stragglers....

Hooray! Leeloo's back. We missed you. How's the hard drive - put a plaster on it or was it bypass surgery?

Double sided sticky tape in the best Blue Peter tradition. Seems to have done the trick thank you.

The scoreboard so far:

18 Peter Cushing
10 Washuu
02 Joe DiMaggio
00 Thor
00 Queen of Hearts

She was an evil bitch but she hasn’t got any points – QOH 1 point in sympathy.
For his tight baseball breeches – JdM 4 points.
He killed all the baddies!!!! – Mr Cushing 5 points. What a guy.

Time to tot them up then.

23 Peter Cushing
10 Washuu
06 Jo Dimaggio
01 Queen of Hearts
00 Thor

Well the anonymously nominated Peter Cushing wins.

What do you have to say to that Peter.

"Aha, I knew it you spawn of the devil!"
*raises stake to Vestboys chest and swings wooden mallet hard - THWOK!*
Blimey Peter - you made me bite my tongue.

Anyway Ladees and gennelmen a big hand for Peter Cushing.

And the next award will be for
"Best use of a furry animal in a film that was not made for children."

In the UK not a U certificate but PG (Parental Guidance)is OK. the award will be presented to the Director (we may have to use www.imdb.com to get the details.)