h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

From the dawn of time, when early humanoids became aware of the seasons and eventually invented the sundial, mankind has been fascinated with time. Water and sand time-measuring devices came and went. More recently, mechanical contraptions were created that measured time. They had pendulums and cogs and other internal bits and had 2 hands usually, which moved around a circular panel with numbers on (in a clockwise direction), and were known as clocks. These became smaller and smaller through the skilled workmanship of the clockmakers who probably lived in Switzerland. These smaller clocks evolved into the laptop clock and eventually became small enough to go 'mobile' and fit into the pocket. They were connected to straps and worn on the wrist so that one could 'watch' the time.
Through the advancement of particle physics, scientists invented the atomic clock. Then later came the radio alarm clock which could flash 00:00 at a rate accurate to within a millionth of a light year.
So accurate were these devices - with their pleasant buzz alarm gently to rouse one in the morning (some even made TEA http://www.h2g2.com/A61345 to the standard of vending machines!) - that people often set them 10 minutes early to compensate. Even so, with timing devices becoming this accurate, more people were late for work than ever before, and like the BABEL FISH http://www.h2g2.com/A37766 , this led to more wars and destruction than anything in history. "You have til 3 o'clock tomorrow to withdraw your archers, or else !"
By the time that physicists had realised that time was a figment of mankind's imagination and therefore didn't actually exist, it was too late.

Time is a purely human concept. I don't think that any other animal has a concept of time. (Any primates, dolphins, etc., that want to correct me, feel free.) Only mankind is concerned/obsessed with when events happen or with what regularity. Other creatures may do things every 6 months / 3 weeks / year, or whatever, but I don't think they care about it the way we do.

i don't have time for this.

goodnight mrs slartibartfast. it's midnight here. i hope i don't dream about hockey tonight

there's always lentils. goodnight.

Whirrrrr - Einstein turning in his grave. Time does exist but, like beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder. Twin paradox....Blah Blah....Relativistic time distortion....Blaaaaaaaah....Hibernation....brrrrr......Estivation......zzzzzzz.......Buses.....eeeaaaoow, damn missed it......and so on.
That is what the whole article is saying
Time for bed, said Zebedee.

Shouldn't that be preceeded by a rousing BOOIINNG!!?

Erm my grasp of English is a bit ropey this morning but preceeded means before right? But I thought the BOOINNGG came after he said Time for bed.

Sorry - I was refering to the Jasper Carrot version of one of the
"lost episodes" ....

Thinking about the original series, there should be a BOOIINNG before 'Time for bed', when Zebedee arrives, and possibly one after, when he departs. He didn't always leave the scene at the end of the program, as I recall. (I watched a video with my friend's kids, honest!)

Wow! I thought I was the only human arguing that one. I concluded that time doesn't really exist several years ago. Here's my diary entry from 1995:

Time: There is no real dimension of time. Time is really movement compared to other movement. I.E. energy change of one thing compared to energy change of another. Thinking about this later, time is similar to space in that space is not really there - but matter can exist within space. Likewise, matter moves through space, ie. "through" time, but time is not really there. Could time exist without matter? I don't think so. For each moment would be exactly the same as the previous one. Therefore, space exists because matter exists, time exists because matter moves through space, ie. because energy exists. (Does this mean space and time are linked by gravity?)

Because time doesn't really exist time travel is not possible, apart from in human minds by remembering or planning. Intention, I suppose, is a form of time travel ... but that's as far as it goes. Whenever I see Stephen Hawking wheeling down the street (he is a neighbor) I feel like letting him know : "Hey, time doesn't really exist!" But I didn't want to be dismissed as a kook who couldn't understand multitudinal equations and event horizons.

It seems to me that we almost can't imagine life without time, it is so much a part of our perceptual process. Useful, but erroneous.

According to my perception of things, time do exist. Even if no species were capable of developing tools to
measure it with. As long as items, thingys, stuff, rocks, stones and suchlike are moving or disintegrated by
friction of some sort, time exists. When everything becomes absolutely static in universe and whatever is
beyond it, time will no longer exist.

According to my perception of things, time does exist. Even if no species were capable of developing tools to
measure it with. As long as items, thingys, stuff, rocks, stones and suchlike are moving or disintegrated by
friction of some sort, time exists. When everything becomes absolutely static in universe and whatever is
beyond it, time will no longer exist.

I think that Stephen Hawking knows that time doesn't exist, but will wait until it is universally accepted before proving that it DOES exist with new theories that are beyond the realms of our imaginations.

There is no such thing as infinite time. Time just goes round in a circle and ends up were it started

The passing of time is an individual thing. It may only be a concept that was dreamt up to help explain our advancing lives but it is an important concept. People need something firm like time to anchor themselves to. Of course it doesn't really exist. Each person percieves its passing in a differnt way.
Time is Relative.

If Time does NOT exist but is part of space & matter; AND time is ALSO motion (for I agree with da Duke when he says that when everything has reached ultimate entropy, complete stasis, time will stop) - then does it follow that MOTION does not exist, or RATHER that Motion is part of Space & Matter?

A NEW Trinity - Space (Energy), Matter (Energy condensed to a slow vibration) and Motion (Energy) - results in a UNITY - Energy! Which is what we all know the Universe really is ANYWAY! Isn't there a law of conservation of energy which says that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed? And entropy is just the ultimate transformation of all energy into heat, thermal energy?

Gosh, This Guide Page about time & its accompanying fora have just reminded me why I tried to study Physics & Astrophysics at Uni - shame I dropped out after two terms, I guess!

On a less metaphysical note - congratualations to the author of this guide page, Feisor - stonking addition to Galactic wisdom (Earth edition)! I await your next rejected rejections with antici......pation!

Oh please people, stop talking about the brilliance of Stephen Hawking. The man is a great Physicist and the most intelligent(not smartest, most intelligent) person on the Earth today, but he is, like most people, thinking inside the boundaries of set theory. When he proved that Black Holes existed, the thing which he is today most renowned for, it was a generally accepted fact that they did exist, no one could prove them though. Einstein, when he came up with the General Theory of Relativity, completely revolutionized the face of physics! I'll leave it up to you guys to talk about this one. Oh, and to Researcher 45676, check out my new post on this, and we should probably get in touch to talk about this at some point. Keep in mind this post is after that one, which I wrote before reading yours.

the most powerful, pure energy is love. surely that can be created.@

You're absolutely right, alicat. Not only can love be created but I think love is the source of creation. Love creates!! Maybe evolution is just unlovely matter struggling to reach higher energy levels and become more lovely & loveful? But I know some pretty lovely matter. Hmmm. Human hearts, which seek and produce love, energetically.

You've really hit on something here, alicat. I think I have to think about this - cool!