h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Returns freshly shaved, and multicoloured jumper stuffed down the back of the sofa*

Hey Ho old Scottish marine chasing, viking boat burning, ladies undergarment selling pal, how's life treating my very favourite star gazer? (You just beat Patrick Moore into second place due to the fact he's as nutty as a barrel of frogs)

i've had to go under deep cover, due to a visit from the seagull mafia (okay okay so my computer went mad and locked me out of my old account)

but now i'm back
st elmo (aka SpaceGirl)

Hi there Quark, i've been very worried about you, i though the gulls had got you for sure .

Come on then, spill the beans. After 4 months of being absent without leave you must have some good stories to tell . Married a marine yet?(or managed to catch one and hold him hostage), spotted any previously uncharted s?, been to any viking boat burnings? sold any lingerie to women rather than dodgy blokes?

Tell,tell,tell..............

Previously in my life.....
"oh my god what have you done to your hair!!"

"excuse me sir, i really don't think that suspender belt would fit 'your mother'"

"unhand me you cad, you have the morals of a rabbit "

"yes that's right I'm off to Sweden for the day!!"

"no, i'll manage just hold that ladder steady would you.....argh"

"oooh i'd love a pandrop...(crunch)...my tooth!"

and that is a very short resume!!

i've probably missed out heaps of things, but it is far too early in the morning to do that thinking thing!!

see ya
Q

Hey some interesting ones there Quark . I of course am interested in the dallying with the cad and the trip to Sweden.(The broken tooth and chucking yourself off a ladder will have to wait)

How did you manage to get a trip to the home of the volvo, and was the cad with you.

Burning question number 3, why you call yourself mitsy_mu, and number 4.............did you miss me?

My my you do want to know lots.
well the cad - - well i was a little tipsy, and this younger man with whom i was 'acquainted' decided that open-air 'relations' was a good idea - now i am not averse to the suggestion , but it WAS November , and there were a number of cameras about

Decide to go shopping to Gotenburg for the day, (very nice by the way). Flew from Aberdeen - i couldn't possibly go by car, for that would just be SO common. Had fab day, saw statue of naked man with the smallest......Anyway ended up not spending any money!!

i have no idea where the name came from, maybe the seagulls whispered it in the wind

how's the home-knitted multi-coloured jumper coming on?, and are you cultivating a straggly beard yet? - you know it's the law for archaeologists

Anyway it's snowing , am off to ambush passers-by

hey you......are you there.......have you drifted off into some fantasy about digging up some really important roman ruins and becoming the next Mick Aston?

hope mrs st elmo is knitting you some appropriate clothing!!
Q

Sorry about the delay, that's the problem with us diggers, we've got all the time in the world .

I've been overcome by a very nasty dose of overtime.........a pernicious and time consuming affliction, which usually results in heavy eyes and a swollen wallet.I'm starting my comeback tour at the moment though, work will have to wait.

So how is it north of the border my old tartan stargazer? Oh ,and by the way, what's Aberdeen airport like? I will be spending a few hours there on my way to the Orkneys in September, i'm rather hoping it's going to be a swinging joint..............though probably not

Mrs. St. Elmo has knitted me a multicoloured beard to help me adjust to Archaeological life, i think it's quite fetching

Aberdeen airport ......ah the memories......well it's a bit and is in the middle of absolutely nowhere....and if you are trying to find it by road well then just FORGET IT.

about that got a bit of a bad flashback to driving around all these country lanes at 5am trying to get to the airport
Honestly it's not that bad!

So why Orkney, please tell me you are not going digging!

Read the poem ' The Bloody Orkneys' just to give you a bit of a warning!!

Exciting news of the year, we're getting new harbour gates - Ha beat that me old mucker.
It is just so ........ well fill in the blanks yourself

I'm sure if I ask nicely i could get one of me old dearies to knit you a multicoloured hat and gloves to go with the jumper, they'll have tassles!!