h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just thought I would say, "hi there," one military brat to another. Hi there.

Aha! You have brat-status. Magnifico! So, how do you answer the question, "Where are you from?"

I start with something about Germany then California and it gets sordid from there. Don't know if you followed the link, but I actually found a couple of my friends on that site. It's worth a look-see.

P.S. Hi there back.

Yeah, I've been to the site several times.

As for where I am from... I usually tell people: 1) Where you are from rarely has anything to do with where you call home, and neither of them necessarily have anything to do with where you live. 2) I am from everywhere and nowhere, grew up in Colorado so I suppose that's where I call home, but I live in Texas... No, I am not FROM Texas (I have to say that a lot) *grin* 3) Venus (it's just easier sometimes).

Ah. *wistfully looks at sky* Venus.

Very nice answer, really simplifies things. Sometimes I raise both my hands way up in the air and violently shake them while also furiously shaking my head and going "blblblblblblbl" really loudly. It probably has a similar effect to your answer.

You have just simplified my life. I am in your debt.

I like the blblblblblblbl answer though. It sort of has the effect of making the person who asked, wish they hadn't... a consequence I sometimes hope for when asked that particular question. Perhaps, for this, I am in your debt.

Of course there is another way to go... you create a web page, with a bio, then when asked, simply give your URL. Oh, I know, you can wear a shirt with your URL printed on it, then you don't even have to speak at all... now how's that for simple?

It would be a supreme "nerd moment" if I had a shirt with my URL on it, wouldn't it?

By the way, if you do the blblblblbl thing, be sure to jump from one leg to the other the whole time (like a Hollywood rain dance). I forgot to mention it, but it catalyzes the effect--saving energy in the long run.

I have to go practice my new answer now...
*walks off while repeatly mumbling Venus*

Supremely nerdy moments are hard to come by... Were you to hop around on one foot, blblblbblblblblb and all that (like that?), _wearing_ a shirt with your URL on it, you would achieve complete nert status. If you then suddenly stopped and said, "Venus," you would not only acheive complete nerd status, but everyone would think you weird as well. Of course, if you are a guy, I think Mars may be a more choice answer.

But if I were a guy, that would make the Venus answer even better, don't you think? Now, if I were a man...

If you are a guy, man, boy, of the male persuasion... and you want to be from Venus, then you knock yourself out. Who am I to say anything? I still think digital watches are pretty cool.

I am a vapor in the scheme of things. Generally, my cats might call me a man, but only if they felt like talking to me.

So, how do you keep yourself busy? I talk to my cats and release vapors . http://www.ihatecows.com/milk.htm

Wow, you are a vapor who can type? That is way up there on the cool scale. And to think, all I do is keep the Wonder Book of Useless Knowledge. Okay, I do a little more than that, but not much.

I kinda like this inane-banter thing. I must mention it's mostly that I think you've quite a wit about you, several even. Hope its mu'chal. Let's see how long we can keep this up, eh? Oh no! Have I cursed it by "naming" it?? Aaaaaaaah!

Oh well.

Regarding this Wonder Book of Useless Knowledge, how's it coming along? Bit better than my translation of Balzac's masterpieces into a ten page comic book, I hope.

Actually, I hope your book's quite empty. Hopefully no farther along than my project, which I still haven't planned on starting.

::: very melodramatic music...so you know I am about to say something very important to the story:::
*gasp* You named it! Oh no, Charles, whatever shall we do? (said in my best damsel voice)

::: end of very stupid attempt at humor :::

Yes, occasionally I have wits... usually I knit them myself.

As for the Wonder Book of Useless Knowledge... it is not mine, I am simply the self-proclaimed keeper of it. It was once kept by a friend of mine, but he spent waaaaayyyyy too much time with his nose in it, then waaayyyy too much time informing everyone else of its contents, thus becoming waaayyyy too much of a know-it-all.

In the wrong hands, this book is a dangerous thing. In order to help my friend, I took the book, and am keeping it for myself. Should I begin to be too enamored by its contents, I hope some friend will be good enough to releive me of it...if any of them think they're big enough to get the job done.

You said your friend became too much of a know-it-all, sounds like he only knew the useless bits, though. Protect yourself now! Take the "I need to be stupider and more complacent" vaccine. It's been working for people across the United States for years.

I like the suggestion about knitting the wits together. I keep losing mine, they're so hard to keep track of.


Venus.

Well, the thing about the Wonder Book of Useless Knowledge is, all the bits are useless! That's what gives it its name, Wonder Book of Useless Knowledge... the word useless being key here. If there were any bits that were actually useful, then it would be called the Wonder Book of Mostly Useless Knowledge, or the Wonder Book of Sometimes Useful, but Mostly Useless Knowledge... Or just the Wonder Book of Knowledge, with Don't Panic written in big friendly letters on the front of it. Oh wait, that sounds oddly familiar.

I don't want the vaccine, thank you very much. I think the book is already having an effect on me, and I want to be superior to everyone... you know, queen of everything, and all that. I think the title suits me, because I know everything.

::: More melodramatic music :::

Oh no, I feel faint with all the power, Charles (oh, excuse me) Venus. Whatever shall I do? Help me, Venus, overcome the alure and power of the evil book.

::: end of melodramatic music :::

I wonder if people in the movies, and soaps get tired of the melodramatic music cluing them in on what's going to happen in their lives. You would think eventually they would catch on, wouldn't ya?

*tunelessly hums along*

Tunelessly? Now how am I ever to guage what is about to happen in my life, if you are humming tunelessly? Or were you offering me a sandwich?

*humlessly tunes along*

*Humously tunas a song*