h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

VENUS. blblblblblblblbl. *waving hands* *dons http://mysite.com shirt*

I think someone is having wayyyyy too much fun with this.

Do you have ICQ?

Used to run Trillian, but it started acting up. Now on AIM (ick!). But, may I ask, why do you ask?

Have you noticed, we actually have two pages of senseless banter? Amazing, no? *taps foot to music*

ICQ? Why do I ask? That's a bit of a silly question, don't you think?

Wow, two pages of senseless banter. One, two... If we keep going, maybe we can learn to count to ten or a billion or something!

Hey, which two/to/to do you use to describe the three two/to/toos? The *Wonder Book is of no help. So how do you write this sentence? "There are three tos in the English language." That's the first time I've ever written it down, and it looks wrong. *sigh* There should be four of them and the fourth should be spelled tu... There are three tus in the English language. Oh, that was too much!


*The name will now be changed from the Wonder Book of Useless Knowledge to the Useless Book of Wonder Knowledge. This change will be for a duration of not less than however long I decide, and not more than till I say so.

*music (I've got two lovers)*

Three words, and they sound the same,
Three words and I love them all the same.
One word it means "an integer greater than 1 but less than 3."
One word it means also and again.
One word it means "travel in the direction of."

*end music in horrible scratching sound*


I think I understand your point. Did you know one of the biggest contributors to the modern dictionary was in prison for a felony at the time he wrote the definitions (for over 2/3 of the first dictionary!)?

When you write a definition you can't use your word in the definition. That requires a similar skill to using the right t(w)[o]o in the right circumstance. I guess we aren't criminally-minded enough to pull this off.

Use "txo" where x={w,o,[undefined]}. Math solves everything.

It's too early in the morning for math.
You use math, I will use tu, problem solved.

One could argue that our standardization of spelling has much to be desired. Also, understanding that our spelling reflects the way a person used to pronounce a word, it is possible that to too and two are (from a historical perspective) not even supposed to be pronounced the same, thus making the whole point moot.

I like your song though. Would you do another?

::: resting peacefully, waiting to be sung to sleep :::

To and too share the same derivation, but two is a different root with a different pronunciation. So they were once pronounced differently.

There really isn't a problem with the spelling situation in English, because if you don't spell well you have an excuse, and if you do you have something to be proud of.

*Leaves while singing Gilligan's Island theme*

Ah but... In Middle English, double letters would have been pronounced differently than single letters... therefore to and too were probably once pronounced differently. That is where a large part of the English spelling problem evidently comes from... somehow we started pronouncing things different from the way they were spelled, and now things are spelled differently than they are pronounced. Maybe some day the spelling reform people will have their way. We will just spell words the way they sound and wont have to worry about it.

Ov cors then papl in difrnt partz ov th cuntre well spall thangz difrnt than uthr papl.

de jermans did de spellin fixin too, ye know. keep me outta dat! Iz fixin to free-cowt ifins i's not ables to seppling me own way.

Did you realize that Russian is phonetically perfect? That means everything is spelled exactly like it sounds! Problem is it's all spelled in Cyrillic. German has one spelling exception, the 'b' at the end of 'halb' is pronounced 'p' otherwise they worked out all the kinks.

Methinks the spelling thing is half the fun. You know Scrabble sucks in German. If you don't like how we spell though, you could blame the French...

Besides, if English weren't so screwy, how could women always take what men say the wrong way? You'd have no option then but to understand us. And since we don't really make sense (we only pretend we make sense so you think we're deeper than we are*) we'd have no cover, and our society would fail at the most basic levels.

*Statement immediately retracted to conform with Man Law 14.5.1 Section 2, The 'Nondisclosure of Inferiority' Mandate.

Trust me, you shouldn't pretend to make sense to appear deeper than you are. It doesn't work, we aren't fooled.

I received a Man Card when an old boyfriend found out I can take apart, and put back together, a carburetor. At that point, he thought it necessary to enlighten me about men, how they speak and what they mean... Then, to seal the information forever in my brain, I had two sons. There's no mistaking it now...like it or not, I understand your language. It is interesting to be able to view the problem from both sides. Now, having seen it from all perspectives, I will attempt to solve the puzzle for you.

Would you look at the time. I have to dash!

Later
~PG~

So you know how we hide what mean mean on the surface of everything we say?

That's exactly what I meant. I'll bet you wish more women understood that. I know my boys do. They are both experiencing girl trouble. *sigh*

~PG~

I will be on hiatus for a week. Please, don't take this personally!
I shall return... Ooh-ha-ha-a!

You named it, now you are leaving. *sigh* See what happens when you name things.

Fortunately, you caught me just home from (several) drinks with friends. Tomorrow I will miss you. Enjoy your time out.

~PG~

Sorry, can't hear you. I'm not here.
Meanwhile, you could always play my game F19585?thread=263654

I think you just want to laugh at me while I am uninhibited.

I was cupping my ears! Really!


*venus*

I miss you already!

~PG~

What's to miss, just some guy who babbles about venuses all the time.
*venus*

Ask me about New York.

What about New York? There, I asked.