h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

During December I was approached by a colleague (J) who works in the same building as me with a proposition. Outside of humdrum employment she had another interest - ballet, and knew of my similar attraction to amateur dramatics. She is, as far as I can tell, producing, directing *and* choreographing a production of the Nutcracker Suite to be performed on the second weekend in February.

Now if you followed my Scrooooge journal thread you'll remember I have never claimed to be much of a dancer. I also pointed out I would be unable to attend any rehearsals until after New Year due to my commitments to Scrooge, also had a holiday planned in January which would mean missing at least one rehearsal, and I made these worries quite clear to her. However J was insistent that my concerns could be addressed, and convinced me to give it a try. I'm not sure who had to drop out, but obviously she could not put on the show without some body in the role to gesture and react to the rest of the action.

J assured me the most dancing I would have to do would be a waltz (or some such), which if it proved too tricky could be danced "drunk" with a beer stein in my hand (apparently this would excuse whatever lapses I made in the choreography ). The role was Herr Stahlbaum, father of the heroine Clara, who with his wife was hosting a Christmas party at which Drosselmeyer the magician performed magic and gave out toys to the children - Clara getting the Nutcracker of the title.

Flattered to have been asked, and confident I hadn't raised any false expectations, I agreed...

I like the idea of performing with a beer glass in your hand and thereby excusing all faults. I wonder could I use that trick for my presentation to the board of directors.

Last night was the first rehearsal I could attend and was needed for. It was quite cold and starting to spit with rain by the time I was standing outside the local school with a small group of women and girls, waiting for the caretaker to open up. This proved a little embarrassing for J, who rousted him out from reading his newspaper, as the door was already unlocked, which somehow had not been adequately checked

Inside I took a seat in the dance studio and put on my jazz shoes (similar to a pair of black trainers, but with a split sole allowing the foot to flex easily). I bought the shoes a couple of years ago having realised the benefits of appropriate footwear when being choreographed, even though it is rare to be in a show where the hired shoes are anything like as easy to dance in.
I wandered to where I could see a lady taking a register, and got myself ticked off after paying the pound needed at each rehearsal to cover the hire costs. This didn't surprise me as other groups I've been in have a similar procedure (but not the group I did Scrooge with, who cover it with an annual membership fee).

I also confirmed from the register that my sister-in-law and niece were also in the show. I knew it would surprise them to see me, as I hadn't mentioned my late addition to the company to them.

Unsurprisingly men were in the minority in the cast. I know that there will be some Russian guest artists, and the actor playing magician Drosselmeyer, who weren't present last night, but apart from one boy there was only me . I watched and waited, chatting with my sister-in-law (also initial J hmmm - let's say JD), who found it quite amusing that I had no idea at all what I would be expected to do.

Eventually I was introduced to my 'wife' Frau Stahlbaum (who I'll refer to as N if I keep up this initial lark), and we started to set a dance. Most of the cast already knew it of course, but it was a few weeks since they had done it last and I had to learn it from scratch, so it was done slowly.

It was *not* a waltz At the first opportunity I got a pencil and some paper from my bag and started making notes as to what steps I had to take. Others in the cast admitted doing the same themselves - one even going so far as to laminate her 'idiot board'. I think I did quite well,but there were quite a few s from JD.

This journal won't have so much new stuff as Scrooge, as I won't be able to attend another rehearsal for two weeks - so no daily additions of new calamities to offer

If anyone is interested I found a programme from a previous show the company have done: http://www.lookandfeel.uk.com/assets/boutique.pdf

Getting you to dance under false pretences! How rude!

Good luck. Laminating the 'idiot boards' seems like a very good idea...

One thing puzzles me - if one has to pay a pound at each rehearsal, isn't that a minor incentive to be naughty and skip them every so often?

I guess it could be a disincentive, but you mustn't forget the level of keenness of females remarked on in your M&MG thread, and their almost total majority within the Manx Ballet Company. I haven't really had much of an opportunity yet to find out what particular carrots and sticks the MBC chooses to use.

I've got to unfold and copy my notes into something meaningful and legible soon, something they are barely either of at present

A few samples from my latest idiot sheer:

Wash the windows, round, posh slap

Maypole, pancake, posh slap

Sausages
Right arms and cockney x3

The worrying thing is that this actually makes some sort of sense to me!

I'm sure yours is much more sensible, though...

Mine is more telegraphic, though there is one bit "silly step", named by the other dancers who had had to practice it for several weeks, that I haven't mastered yet
a typical bit in the middle goes:...
Step L || Step L || bow
X 4 R hand to N
X 4 L
[R step bk
[jump both feet
[R L ] rptx4
snap face front arm out

In Jesus Christ Superstar I added stick men to indicate the movements - a name alone didn't seem to capture enough of the move to remember it accurately - though I can recall one move I called 'bondage'

Horray! Another theater blog. Pimms, David, I am living vicariously through your journals.

This will give me an excuse to hum the lovely score from the Nutcracker for weeks.

Silly step and bondage sound about right... For the Act Two finale of Die Fledermaus, I wrote my moves down telegraphically and I will never forget that it ended 'Camel Camel Ostrich Down'.

The Nutcracker is a rather lovely suite of music, I agree, Hyp.

*eagerly anticipating further tales of dancing fun, though not too eagerly due to the long stretch of time before the next rehearsal*

I was going to lurk, but those rolling eyes at the top made me feel guilty... You shouldn't put them there, because honestly, I have nothing to say. Me and the school dance teacher were in a perpetual feud.
But it looks nice when other people do it, and I like the beer bottle idea.

Nice to know someone has been interested enough to lurk

I sometimes wonder if it is possible to identify who is subscribed to a thread, whether or not they have posted

The beer stein notion is a little fanciful. If the dance I've done is the only dance I have to do, I reckon I can achieve it more easily without trying to grasp a in one hand

It won't actually have liquid in it to spill, will it? It's so frustrating to have the memory heading south. Didn't Gene Kelly do an entire number holding a cup and saucer?

!
that they asked you to be in it, Pimms! They look like a professional kind of group too, judging by that previous programme.

I'm sure you'll be fine with the dancing. Do you feel more self-conscious with members of your family in it? I know I would - I'd rather they see me when I've got it, than when I'm tripping over my feet trying to learn it!

I don't tend to make notes of dances - sometimes the choreographer gives out sheets with lists similar to yours, but usually I just try to remember as much as I can then practise it for a while as soon as I get home after the rehearsal. That tends to stick it in the mind. If I forget bits, I just practice the bits I remember and fill in the gaps at the next rehearsal.

The ladies' toilets where I work is quite a long room, and there's a full-length mirror on one side, so I tend to practice in there a lot .

You can get those trick glasses where it's a sort of glass inside a glass so it looks like it's full of beer but actually the liquid is safely enclosed inside the sealed 'outer glass'.

>>The ladies' toilets where I work is quite a long room, and there's a full-length mirror on one side, so I tend to practice in there a lot winkeye<<

I would LOVE to be there. Its one of those powder room things or its a single bathroom? Meaning: is there room for an audience?



(No, I'm not a guy, though everyone seems to think I am, so dont worry.)

Erm, a powder room thing I suppose. A long room with sinks on one side and stalls on the other, with an entry section where the mirror is.

Luckily there are two doors to get in so I can stop hopping around sharpish if I see the outer door opening!

And I wouldn't want to be there if I were you. Watching me rehearse would be very tedious.

Oh well, I dont have time to fly over anyway.

Back from my holiday. Good snow, fine food (apart from one bout of food poisoning from a mountain restaurant), no injuries

Rehearsal last night for the ballet (the second for me). Only one more before the guest dancers (professional Russian ones) join us in two weeks.

Number of men in a rehearsal doubled, as the chap playing Drosselmeyer was also there. He mimed extravagantly as he performed his magic, sweeping his black cloak and flashing his eyes (his face, particularly eyebrows and round eyes, reminds me of Alfred Molina http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0000547/)

I had left my idiot sheet on the computer at work, and since I was taking a day to unwind from the holiday I tried to rewrite it from memory, rather than pop into work and print it out. Naturally I couldn't exactly recall some sections and got others out of place, but on the whole I think I nailed it pretty much (apart from the silly step, which will take practice at home). Drosselmeyer has managed to avoid inclusion in any dancing - apparently he had been expected to be in the same dance as me.

Make-up session planned for this Friday. I have volunteered, as although I doubt I'll need much more than a basic foundation and accentuation of eyes, brows and lips, I may be useful applying make-up onto others in the large cast. J did suggest that when off-stage I would probably be useful. I am going to be there anyway, and I do like to be appreciated as helpful.

The one dance I am in is called "the Grandfather Dance" (scene 5), a nice stately elegant dance, and is the second big dance for adults after the Galop (I would have thought it was 'Gallop', but the CD info on-line suggests otherwise). In between Drosselmeyer appears and does his magic and gives Clara the Nutcracker, which Fritz breaks and Drosselmeyer repairs.

Wow, it'll be amazing to have professional Russian ballet dancers onstage with you!

I like doing makeup too. I had to have it done for me for The Mikado, but I'd have preferred to do my own. But they have this weird rule that principals aren't allowed to make themselves up.

I'm sure with such a large cast, especially the kids, your help will be much appreciated.

In Scrooge I did my own (as you'll know as you read the blog) the being quite pleased to have one less to do and having proved my competence. I had to let her do the wig and eyebrows though.

During a fire alarm at work today (false alarm fortunately) I had opportunity to speak to J while we waited outside for permission to re-enter building. She is getting close to overwhelmed by the organisation of the production that she has taken on - she is even involved in making the costumes too. I volunteered my help, and may be creating a mask for the Mouse King that she has had trouble locating from their previous production. I made a mask for the Rat King in a pantomime of Dick Whittington a couple of years ago, so I can claim relevant experience .