h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: How to survive life in Crowell Hall - A982604
Author: panda1499 - U220725

Crowell hall is the dorm i live in here at albright. it is tons of fun but stressful and these are some of the things i would have liked to know before i got to live in here. that's all, ta ta for now

Well I like this one a lot Very well written, very clear and concise. Well done panda

When you say 'fights' do you mean actual fisticuffs, or arguments? I suspect it's the latter (although I reckon the former might happen from time to time), so it would be good to make that clear by replacing the word 'fight(s)' with 'argument', disagreement', or words of similar meaning.

If you're interested and if you have the time, it would be worthwhile to try and convert this entry into GuideML - that will allow you to use headers and subheaders, a link to the college website (is there a part of the website for Crowell?), and a bulleted list for your survival tips section. You can learn about it here <./>GuideML-Clinic</.>, but it's not absolutely necessary to use it - plain text will do fine

Fisticuffs... now there's a word!

One that you don't hear enough in my estimation... like 'splendid'

Hey, for an entry you didn't want to do, you've managed to come up with a good entry!

You might want to add a link to your college's website so people can learn more about it.

Anyways, I hope you'll stay active in h2g2 after your assignment/course is finished!

Share and Enjoy!

I can't get a link to work properly in my entry. I looked at how to do it in GuideML-clinic, but i still can't figure it out. Can anyone help?

Hi...

Adding a link in GuideML is slightly different that standard HTML.

You should be able to use this as a template to add a link:
The words for the link

The bits inside the <>'s are case-sensitive, so you need to ensure that the LINK and HREF are uppercase. The URL itself should be in the proper case.

I hope this helps!

Share and Enjoy!

Further to my last, I took a look at your entry and this is what you have in the entry right now that's not working:


You need to uppercase the LINK, HREF (which you also need to spell correctly ) and the TITLE elements. I'm not familiar with the POPUP element, but it should be uppercase, too.

Share and Enjoy!

hey, if anybody has any other ideas out there as to a way for me to fix my entry even more, that would be great. Ok, thanks in advance fellow researchers.

I think it's pretty well ready to go. Any other comments?

Share and Enjoy!

I know that a Sub could do this, but for future reference, you could use some paragraph breaks.

The Guide ML is VERY easy for these tags:
Start your intended para with , type youre para, then end with .
That's it.
You've already used a bunch of GuideML quite well, so this last one should be cake.

By the way, how's Jackie's class going?

Friar

ps. I'll take another look for content/editorial stuff. . .

I like the article. I especially like that you specify your dormitory. You might know that this avoids several common problems. Namely: trying to generalize, but missing the idea that people live differently. Also, while you wrote personally you avoided first person references in a way that was barely detectable.

The writing overall is pretty good, but in a close reading there are some problem areas (mind you, I'm about to micromanage):


"Many of the freshmen have not quite moved into the mind set of college and our still thinking and acting like they are in high school."

This sentence reads as though it runs on a bit (this can be fixed by changing your first 'and' to a 'but', and I think you mean ARE instead of OUR. (see? run-on, but yours was not, but READ funny with the two 'ands')


"Petty fights rise up on a normal basis, there is always at least one fight going on at any given time in the building"

This is a run on too. . .just make two sentences (and make the second one sound better)

"More often then not these fights are over stupid things like boyfriend/girlfriend problems, or other little unimportant things."

I'm married, and it's been a while since I've had a girlfriend, but I distinctly remember there being very few unimpoartnat things when I would fight with a girlfriend. Relationship issues *are* impoartant, but I agree that they are too often all-consuming in year-one of college. You might think to write that bit a little more carefully.

"Usually fights also break out between roommates, but these fights are also more often then not about petty things"

This read a little clunky. "Usually fights also". . . ? ? ? "also more often"

"If fights or arguments are happening the best thing is to turn and walk away; don’t get in the middle of the fight, because then you are forced to choose sides, and if this happens it won’t be pretty."

Sage adivce, and I like the semicolon, but it still runs on. (and don't give me any lip about ending my sentences with a preposistion! ) Also read it a little more closely for punctuatoin and you might find a better way to phrase this idea.

OK that's enough for now, but I think there a few more areas that need some polishing. Just print it out and give yourself another read.

Still, I liked it enough to read it all, and very closely mind you. So it's definately worth continuing to work on! (yeah yeah yeah another ending preposition, I know)

Friar

thanks for your comments Friar. I made the changes that were suggested to me and also made some other changes. Everyone pkease take another look and tell me what you think

Amanda

hey there panda- sorry for the delay in getting back to you, usually if I don't catch a reply in the first few hours, it gets bumped off of my personal space onto the extended conversation list.

Anyway, I still like this article. Your writing style is refreshing, butin some areas it is a little to conversational. As scouts there is a bit of a movement now to try and make the articles taht we suggest really shine with good writing. So I'm goign to make a few more suggestions of a vague sort:

1)reread your work and always ask yourself if each sentence is written *professionally*. Example, in one part you say: 'most favorite' but favorite is an absolute. A favorite cannot be quantified. It's like being *really* unique. Well, there's no such thing. Being unique is just THAT, there's no room for *really*. Now, don't get me wrong, in conversations online and in real life people speak like this and it is acceptable. In writing, words need to be choosen deliberately and carefully.

2)reread your work back to front, one sentence at a time. This will be the easiest way to pick up grammar errors and spelling errors. It's a pain, but it helps clean-up the writing. Sometimes, really sweet editors will do a lot of work in this regard, but if they can avoid it they will!

I like your style, but it could use another coat of polish, that's all. . .

One final suggestion (in my experience): if you don't have a car at the dorm, find someone who does on the first day and become their friend by helping them move into their room. It pays off in the end! Luckily my roomate at Michigan had a car, so that wasn't an issue. . .

Friar

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Congrats!