h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

well, i think chocolate would be good. chocolate [sic ?] releases endorphines in your body, and endorphines make you happy. Or because you are happy your body produces endorphines (!?!?!). one way or the other, u will end up being happy stuck in the hole becaue u are happy because u got chocolate, you see where i am getting at ?

Chocolate is great. The question then becomes: How much would you weigh when you got out of the hole?
That question makes me think:What would the Easter Bunny say to someone stuck in a hole?
and then:
What would the Easter Bunny do if he/she were stuck in a hole?
and then:
Do you think the Easter Bunny is a male or female (and why)?
Andrea

hi !
i agree with you. chocolate is great. with the problem of the body weight. I haven't thought about this one but i suppose if you are only bein stuck in there for a night or so it shouldn't be much of a problem. If you are stuck there for a few weeks, you will have, in my opinion, other problems then the bodyweight. But here is an interesting statistic. Did you now that it is necessary to consume 20 kilograms of chocolate at once if you want to reach the same levil of endorphines as run trough your body during an orgasm. thus, chocolate makes only relatively happy.
The thing with the easterbunny is problematical. Either it would like to hide some eggs in that whole, or it wants to life in the whole. If it wants to hide eggs there, your chocolate supply would be safe, under the condition you fall in there during easter. But if the bunny wants to go to sleep and you happen to stuck in HIS/HER ( i come later to this) hole, then you probably will be rescued and the bunny will give you some left-over chocolate for keeping his hole safe and warm.

if the easter bunny would end up in the hole himself/herself then people would start missing all the chocolate and we would have a huge wave of derpression and 0 % jobless rate for psychatric therapists.

Well, finally let me come to the question if easter bunny is male or female. Well, i suppose it is female, because females have, in my opinion the better relationship to chocolate. They have discovered that chocolate makes happy and they are eliagble to eat as much as they want if they are down. Males can't do this so easily as society expects them to be "strong" and "hard" and all that stuff and they are not supposed to be "down". Makes sense? i hope so.
laters
eggsperte

If you fell down a hole and then stuffed your face with chocolate, would you even be ABLE to get back out of it again?! If you're gobbling enough chocolate to be really happy that you're sitting on your backside in a wet, muddy damp hole with worms waving at you from the walls and your hiking mates laughing at you and recording your misfortune for the purposes of hilarious posterity back at the pub/office/gym etc. the liklihood is that you'd need either an earthmover to tunnal a ramp down to you(and presumably destroy the surrounding environment and attract attention of either eco-warriors baying for your blood, local and national tv crews - increasing your embarrassment, or a building firm that wants to build a new block of flats on your head) or get one of those bridge building cranes shipped over from a foreign country to hoist you out vertically, alerting the international news to your plight and very possibly inducing a Death By Embarrassment incident...Nasty.

This is an intersting problem. I agree, chocolate IS great! If you were down a hole but didn't STUFF your face for a day you'd be an OK weight. But if you chomped chocolate all day, even for just one day, you'd have to go on a diet! This lead me onto another thought: What does the Easter bunny weigh??? If you were the Easter bunny, wouldn't you get sick of just giving easter eggs? Wouldn't you want to scoff them all?

The Easter bunny might laugh and tell you it was your own fault for getting stuck down the hole anyway. (Well...maybe.)

If the Easter bunny was stuck in a hole couldn't it just burrow it's way out? If it is a bunny, why can't it dig if normal bunnies can? Or isn't it a normal bunny???

I don't think the Easter bunny is male or female. If it did then there would probably be another and then they would multiply. Hey! Wait a sec! How do we know there is only one Easter bunny??? There might be one per country. Or county/state. Or city. Or town. Or village. Or road. Or house. Or room!!!

Amazing Alex

P.S. I really let my imagination rip here, guys (And Girls!), as you can probably tell...

Alex...
Unfortunately they don't make a "bandaid for the imagination" smiley...I wonder if your imagination will heal or if it is permanently expanded.

If you were eating most brands of American chocolate, you would not have to worry about gaining weight because you would get sick first. This would result in most uncomfortable conditions in your pothole and might chase away rescuers.

Mayhaps the Easter Bunny would rescue you after getting sick on American chocolate because animals usually aren't so picky about such things. But the Easter Bunny seems to have a human somewhere in his/her ancestral line and the grossed out gene might kick in...so I wouldn't count on it.

How did you fall in that hole in the first place?

I am from the US...chocolate IS great...from another country...anyone got some American chocolate reccomendations? Just can't eat much of most of it here.

I am not sure what I would do if I were the Easter bunny...but a lot of time would be spent on body hair maintenance.

I would not laugh if I were the bunny who saw a human stuck in a hole...I would gather all my friends to laugh at the despised creature...but eventually we would soften up and let you out at some point.

Super Bunny!

Andrea Ortiz

So now we know...chocolate is only better than sex if you have much more chocolate then sex...and then you may gain lots of weight...which may make you happy from the chocolate but depressed from the weight...which may result in engaging in less sex...chocolate proceed with caution.

What does the offspring of a Easterbunny and a human look like? Maybe the Easter bunny is the offspring of the Easter bunny and a human. Maybe the Easter Bunny will let you live with them in the hole.

What qualifications does one have to have to be an Easter bunny? They have to hire sometime because a bunny can't live forever.

If the bunny fell into the hole...must have at some time...and the animal rights people should come after us for the invention of chocolate bunny substitutes...bunnies watching us eat the chocolate bunny statues has provided continued employment for many,many bunny therapists.

Men should be able to eat as much chocolate as they want too...in any mood. How can we make massive chocolate-eating macho?

How about an "It's not for girls" campaign???

Charlie

hmm somewhere in the back of mind i think they tried that one and got in trouble for it but i may be mistaken

Tee hee! It's definatly permenently expanded because it's been like that for ages! And people theink I'm weird! Well, they also think I'm mad, crazy and some people even think my head is full of bolonase. (Actually, I do too !) It's not the dead flies and fluff that's the problem, It's that I have an over-active imagination, that's all! They don'thave a "bandaid for the imagination" smiley but they do have a weird smiley !

Amazing Alex

not weird:
unique
standout
special
creative
different
quirky
you come up with an adjective

The people who did the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup "how do you eat a peanut butter cup?" ads might want to know "how do you eat a piece of chocolate in a pot hole?" too.

mhm !
lots of interesting opinions. I agree that the chocolate instead of sex thing may cause a little problem. You are right there. But I don't know if you have tried German or Swiss Chocolate. It has like at least 30 % cacao in it. I don't know about the US chocolate

I am pretty sure you would get out of the whole without high-tech equipment and the international press is running after you like a bunch of energetic rabbits on speed. I think even if you stuff your whole face with chocolate you could get out of this whole bei simple means of physics, like turning potential kinetic energy into potential gravitational energy . ( Other people may call this climbing with a rope )

I've had a little of each...but intend to explore a lot more. Thank you for the recommendation.
I'm still in a fog over a good American chocolate...and they usually charge so much more for European chocolate here.
Andrea

hi !
no problem for the recommendation. I can imagine the prices of german or swiss chocolate. I was shocked when i saw some chocolate in NZ and they wanted to charge the fivefold price for what i would pay in DE. But if you want to try really really really good chocolate, have a hunt around
for a brand called Lindt. These guys are swiss and there chocolate is gooooooood ! really gooood !
Well, we still haven't found a solution to the hole problem, not really or ? nevermind.

I love Lindt...and there are so many kinds...I am not even near to having tried them all. What kind of Lindt do you like best?
I would probably enjoy staying in the hole but not with American chocolate...if you eat too much it gives you strange gastrointestinal problems...which could propel one out of the hole.
Andrea

Hi !
Well, I don't mind what kind of Lindt it is, as long as it's chocolate. Another good chocolate brand is Milka, these guys are german ( i think). Their mascot is a purple-white cow. One of their creations of chocolate is a white chocolate but it has white parts in it, so it looks like a cows skin .
Mhm, I think chocolate beans would be interesting to get out of the hole LOL

going to try that one as soon as I find it...hopefully this week...one of the benefits of living in a university town...I can find just about anything...and since I am going to open the coffee shop sometime I also am eating in the name of research.
Research tastes good.

Andrea