h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Are odious.

But sometimes compulsive.

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Oh goodness friend 27 is taking child to soccer....in Sweden.
Friend number 22 had a wonderful honeymoon in the Cook Islands and there is the obligatory photo album to prove it...white sand...smiling faces...Ah yes and the underwater shot with the thumbs up.
I couldn't be more bored.

Nothing in the 'messages' box (the only application that could possibly be slightly salacious and therefore merit an optimistic flutter) Oh, but friend number 13 has taken the 'Inner Criminal' test. 'What fun', I yawn.

Whatever happened to the outer criminal?

How depressing that cyber life is even less exciting than the humdrum of existing.

At least the offsprungs offspring have enjoyed the real 'how to be a criminal' experience.

Perhaps my epitaph will read:

'She inspired naughtyness'

That wouldn't be bad.

The young man has learned that it is totally innapropriate to sit on a train at 15 when any lady, old, pregnant or merely possessing breasts is standing. he has also learned ... should that be learnt? No I don't think so, that whilst he may borrow a pen on the way into work to try and beat his elder and better in the sudoko race, (he can't, I cheat), he cannot expect same pen on return journey. Stealing pens from the office is rule number one. Actually any kind of stationary will do.

The young lady (14) has little hope, her mother has dictated that she has no need to use her brain or to bother with honing any talents she may possess. I fear marriage is her miserable future but perchance I will be allowed a week with her. She has a modicom of self expression in her attire but is overly preoccupied with it and totally disapproved of my stealing a blackberry from a punnett in the 'totally organic fair trade what a load of bollocks' farm shop.
Thank goodness my favourite larcenist was not with us else the whole punnett would have been bagged.
She did concede that lying on the green looking at clouds scudding across a, for once, blue sky was enjoyable and that tearing chunks off a french loaf and cutting cheese cut with a credit card was amusing, but balked when I said we should break into the local church to see the mouse carved on the lectern by a hugely respected sculptor.

I Even despair of my younger girlfriends. When I suggested 'doing a runner' in the local Italian, I was told, 'But they know where you live!' Do I care?

Comparrisons are odious but give me H2G2 any day. Fantasy is so much more satfifying than

'I wish this dreadful rain would stop' or 'Gillian is looking forward to a family Sunday lunch'

I think I may return.

I think you better had, lady.

Good to see you're still here! And Hyp and the Trout I see. Need a precis on a couple of years I think. Fill me in.
Want to write a book (don't we all!) but need to contact Ben as she has some stuff I want to nick. Is she still around? Coffee table but have a few contacts now and more life experience. Don't care abou the money just the idea

Ben's around very infrequently.
Hyp's certainly still active, though she's just had bad news (sister diagnosed with bone cancer).
Trout's a Queenslander these days, and needless to say even more bizarre than the locals.
Waz and Jodan very much still around, thogh your favourite wolf now uses his full name, complete with R.

You made the UnderGuide twice in the last three months. Not bad for a dirty stopout.

What else do you want to know?

Mmmm. Last 2 years. What can I tell you?

There are only one-and-a-half Italics these days. Charlotte Elvised. It's Natalie and Derek now.

Trin edits the UG, Waz sub-edits, broe archives, I'm still QAing for the out-to-lunch forementioned. 5th birthday last Friday.

Rich edits the Post, and B'Elana and lil sub it.

EG, dunno. How many constellations are there?

It all sounds deliciously comforting, like a favourite book.
RL has been a little time consuming but hope to have more for myself soon.
Trout in Queensland eh? Do you need any connections Montague? or are you already top of the pile!

Ss sorry to hear about sister Hyp. Life has far too many breezeblocks and not enough marshmallows.

Hi Waz and Jodan, good to find some of the family still keeping the fire's stoked.

Shall try to be around more and offer a few rusty crumbs.
For now the 7.54 beckons.
Take care

Hi back , welcome back, let the 7.54s wait - they think they run the place. They are sooooooooo wrong.

Boots!

I've often wondered how you are.

Ben is currently on holiday but should be back in circulation soon

Hey Boots! It's about time you checked back in with us. People do worry, you know.

<>

88 - that's number 78 in PR

*waves to boots*

GB

Hey it's good to hear from so many of you! Perhaps it's time for another meet, who were we? Agent provocatuers?

So much has happened, so many stories that should be written. Have read some really good books on my train dictated journeys (not always the 7.54 else I would die inside).

How are you all? What is happening in your RL's and in Hootoo land?
Briefly for me:
The offsprung are good and following their life's paths.

I work hard and have lovely friends (some new and remarkably have kept all my old)

Part of my day job involves producing a hard copy magazine twice a year and an e-newsletter once a month, that's the best bit!
The rest is extraordinary socialising for which I so don't have the wardrobe and often neither the patience for the painted smile.

But it is Ok, not in a tingling 'I can't wait to get up and face the day' kind of OK, but more in a 'pair of shoes that don't cause too many blisters' kind of OK.

Alas my mother, now renamed 'The Duchess of Loon', has finally succumbed to her worst fear and flickers in and out of her twilight world on a dementia ward in a nursing home.
Hard for us, terrifying, confusing and full of resentment half hours for her.
This is partly why I'm back, to make some sense of it for others and perhaps to write something that can make the whole experience more uplifting. There are moments of great humour, pockets of what will become joyful memories for us and comfort in old memories for her.

But it's the intercourse between the people on her ward that fascinates me. The way relationships are sustained for many minutes and then forgotten in an instant.

I heard a radio play once many years ago. One woman going through a breakdown. I would like to try and capture that pain and confusion but with humour.
Any shared experiences welcome.
Take care
Boots xx

If it helps, I'm going through exactly the same thing with my mother, except she refuses to give up her house and so I have to keep checking up on her because she lives alone.

In a nutshell, RL has its ups and downs, I lost my Dad almost two years ago, after a year-long battle with stomach cancer. This January, I lost a granddaughter (stillborn). My #2 daughter flew to Vegas, got married on Valentine's Day 2007 by an Elvis Impersonator and is now getting divorced. My son with Aspergers passed a GCSE (Maths) this summer. I'm still single. Hootoo continues to be a wonderful source of support and affection for me, an outlet for my grief and also smacks me down good and proper sometimes. I am still writing for the EG (which I enjoy) but also now I am a Scout, Sub-editor and a Curator (tidying up the EG, fixing broken links, etc). I have a regular astronomy column in The Post as well. We can have photos or artwork applied to old EGEs now, the Photographers have managed over 300 so far. New stuff, we're awaiting a batch of new smileys, who knows, might become real and I'm still waiting for my

It's great to have you back in the fold, Boots

GB

Oh GB
That's why I love Hootoo. It makes you realise you are not alone.
I'm so sorry you have the same stuff, but realise we all have.
Mum was living alone for quite a while and, in honesty, that was the worst time. Two bad falls finally unhinged her and after a spell in hospital I found the home. She is at least safe now. I do hope yours will agree to a home soon. She will be safer and in an odd way you will both appreciate the time you have together more.

So sorry about Dad and grandchild and daughter but thrilled about son. A friend has 3 children all affeted in some form or another. Her son (asperges) has just been diagnosed 'gifted' so she is greatly encouraged about his future.

I LOL at your flying pigs and finding your Galaxy. Suspect the man you dream of won't be worth it, from experience they rarely are! I think I can say that I am almost happily single now. I have a raft of really good friends at least 7 of them are beautiful gay men who are just the most faithful companions and my girlfriends never fail to make me smile. Perfection would be a couple of 'walkers' but I think I'm getting too old to make the effort!
It's good to be back
Take care
Boots

boots! Agents Provocateurs we were indeed. A1162423 Was it really 2003?

'twas indeed!
Good to hera from you. How's the bike? Hope life is good and getting better
Take care
Boots

Sadly I've never had a bike. Just the boots, my own jacket and lid and a penchant for tall men in leather.

Life is good and getting better, oh yes. Just changed jobs (the new one has the word "senior" in the title!) and about to evict the last from the nest.

OK I buy the penchant!Though Tom only let me ride on a bike with him once and said I was the worst pillion passenger in the world. It seems I leant the wrong way...excuse me! the road was almost in my face!
Senorr sounds very distinguished. I hope the pay packet equates well.

Perhaps we should try for an autumnal meet? It would be fun.
Very best
Boots

Boots, I'm not sure when I even talked to you last. You may already know some of this.

I finally got the library finished but am still fighting the general contractor to fix a few things. We bought an apartment building across the street and tore it down for a parking lot. We went to the voters for a levy increase. That passed by a hefty margin, so I guess I'm doing something right. Right now I'm in the process of writing a play for our Mystery Night program next month. Having a heck of a time getting any free time to work on it.

Mother is still living alone. I took her car keys away from her. She was becoming a road hazard. So now I am the official driver for everything. Her health is still good for someone her age, (she is 87), but her memory is getting bad.

Pin mentioned my sister. That's a bad situation and just sort of came out of the blue. She is terminal. Too weak for any treatment. She is in a great hospice facility. They are keeping her pain free, which is the best anyone can offer her. Her time is pretty short.

Now, are you sitting down? I have a gentleman admirer. I've been seeing him for a while, now. I know. At my age. What on earth am I thinking? Well, I found out I'm not too old for a bit of romance after all. We have a lot in common. Actually, we are more compatible than I was with my husband, in spite of the fact that I loved him dearly. My life really is better now because of him.

I will be turning 60 next spring and am planning to spend my birthday in England. I'm going to have my first ever birthday party. How cool is that? Anyway, the h2g2 friends will all be invited. My fellow is planning to go with me, so folks will get to meet him. It should be a lot of fun. Hope you'll be able to come.

Oh, and it is 2059 days, 3 hours and 2 minutes until I can retire - not that I'm counting.

Oh Hyp I am so happy for you!
Not the bad bits of course.
So sorry about your sister that must be very hard, to happen so suddenly. I hope it is swift and pain free.
We lost a really good friend just before Christmas and were with her when she died, ut it was the most peaceful death I have ever seen (and I've had my fair share over the past ten years). She really did slip away peacefully and left us all with only happy memories. I wish your sister the same and send to you.

Age has little to commend it. i have spoken about mother on another thread, but we cn talk about that later.
I am so thrilled you have met someone to brighten your life and share special moments with and I am honoured to be invited to your birthday party.

Have to go now. Boring stuff but look forward to catching up later.
Take care
Boots