h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If the worst comes to the worst and it does impact on my hearing, I've got a good stock of silent films I can watch as well as books to read; I've learnt from last time.

Yesterday I inadvertently brought pages 81-84 of 'The Nativities are Restless' on my USB stick to upload and at nammettime discovered I hadn't uploaded 76-80 yet, which was still at home So that's 8 pages uploaded all at once today to make up for it. I've come to the conclusion that anything can legitimately be mocked if it falls into one of the following two categories:
a.) Anything that exists.
b.) Anything that doesn't exist.
Anything that can be classed as one or other of the above is prime target material.

Glad to hear you had a good birthday – and had a treat of spotting a bird. So are there more celebrations over the weekend?
We've no plans – I wonder if there'll be a possibility of going to the cinema to see 'Spies in Disguise'...?

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Ah, that is good that you have silent films to enjoy when your hearing is bunged up

Well done for managing to keep track of 'The Nativities are Restless' - I'm managing to keep track of reading them, too I think I've missed at least one of your cartoons, though, so I will need to check that...

Thanks for sharing your conclusion - given that other people exist, you have to mind you don't turn into J*m D*v*ds*n or similar, but as long as you keep depicting thoughtful absurdity and aiming your punchlines 'above the belt', your cartoons will continue entertaining us

I hope you had a good weekend. Mine was not very exciting, although I did write about Kingfishers A87964375 but I got good work done, as I had to learn about Probate I also opened the bonnet of my car and found I can fill up the windscreen wash reservoir, so that is another 'achievement unlocked'! Getting petrol was easier this time, too, and I got loyalty points so that's good

Ah, people – me included - are the most absurd things of all, and the more people you gather together, the more absurd they become. Though that might just be my long-founded suspicion of crowds and gatherings… A bit too much like mobs for my comfort. Still, only the last few pages to go – I'll have drawn 100 pages within 2 months, which isn't bad going.

If you've missed any of my cartoons, you can always find them and links too from here: A85695051. One day I'll get around to uploading the pictures I drew last year onto

I saw the entry on kingfishers and must admit that my first thought was on reading 'Common Kingfishers mainly eat fish, as their name suggests' that the name equally suggests that they would mainly eat kings , and possibly also the Fisher King, the mythical bearer of the Holy Grail. Sounds quite a rich diet. I'll comment properly and behave in the actual thread, honest!

Congratulations though on expanding your car maintenance horizons, and getting loyalty points too. I had a quiet 'stay at home' weekend in the end and didn't go out, except to parkrun.

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Wow, 100 pages in 2 months is good going My average is about 4 pages per month!

Thanks for the link - I enjoyed catching up on those

"Sounds quite a rich diet."

Yes indeed! Good point, though - I will think about how to rephrase, as their name suggests they are good at fishing, rather than simply good at eating fish

How are you and how are you enjoying the floods and storm?

It has certainly affected me each day – the recent weather has undermined and closed my main way into work along the river:
http://www.bitternepark.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=4246:boardwalk-closing-for-emergency-work&catid=79:airport-expansion&Itemid=91

I love the bit that says, 'An advisory diversion route for both pedestrians and cyclists is in place… The diversion will be via Empress Road.' What they don't say is that Empress Road is a dodgy red light district and industrial estate that twists and turns passing the depot and Bevois Park Rail Yard depot and is full of lorries twisting and abutting at odd angles into the road as they navigate the corners and the road surface is terrible and full of potholes and to get to involves a level crossing – frankly, I'd rather take my chances with the undermined boardwalk...

In many ways it was fairly easy to do 'The Nativities are Restless' as I was adapting an existing story - I've already got the structure and what happens when. Just got the last two pages to draw and then I'm done and will have to think of something to do next.

To add a tad more to what I said earlier in the week, I think that while it is possible to give a surface appreciation of things that exist, for something to have value it has be evaluated and appraised before it has true worth and is not merely insubstantial. Humour is one of many measures that can be used. (Another potential measure is jealousy – if you think 'I wish I could do that' or, in the case of birdwatching, 'I wish I could fly', then that's a critical appraisal.).

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"frankly, I'd rather take my chances with the undermined boardwalk... "

Wow that's not good at all... I've been exceedingly lucky so far - the weather in the afternoon has been bad with heavy rain and high winds, but by hometime it settled down. The drainage has been fixed after last year when the lake appeared, so the odd puddle here and there was quite shallow. I hope this continues here (touch wood, etc, etc) and I hope the situation improves for you...

I was lucky that I didn't even get wet when I went to the Horticultural Lecture last night so that was good. Not my favourite style of lecture, as the lecturer had a habit of talking really quietly then Shouting! but it was informative about the Winter Garden area at the Botanical Gardens

Ah, yes that is a good point that the Nativity Story gives you a structure to draw on, whereas Random Rants, Career Curiosities, etc are more reliant on flashes of inspiration about what to draw next, so take longer to plan

Thank you for explaining a tad more about your philosophy, and about humour being a measuring tool I shall ponder that some more - measuring is tricky, that it might damage the thing that is being measured, but on the other hand, measuring something valuable helps to prove it is valuable.

My route in today along the upper river (above Woodmill) was quite flooded, over the path in numerous places, including the newly raised section. Below Woodmill where the river is tidal, the water was far below average water level. They used to have a sluice gate at Woodmill they could open to relieve the upper river at times of flooding but they don't seem to use it anymore, seemingly preferring to let the bank flood.

Hmmm – I had a look to find out why they've not used it for the last couple of years and apparently the old gate is worn out and they're still trying to decide whether to replace it or do something else: http://www.bitternepark.info/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=3535:consultation-offers-chance-to-give-your-river-views&catid=1:local-news&Itemid=59

I'm sure I've watched television programmes and films like the lecture you've been to – when they whisper for ages so you have to turn the volume up to be able to catch what they are mumbling, only for there to be sudden, loud noises blaring out.

Ah yes, you can't forget the old Hawthorne Effect or Observer Effect – that the act of measuring in itself influences what is being measured. And obviously you wouldn't want to use a method that would have a detrimental impact…

Today it is sunny! I've not been outside today as we had board game club (I won two of four rounds of 'Exploding Kittens') but hopefully I won't get soaked on the way home for the first time this week.

The other good news is that they're no longer selling Marah Carey flavour , which makes life easier when it comes to nammet times and making a packed lunch for my son.

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That is strange about the sluice gate seemingly having been forgotten about... I hope your journey home was OK. I somehow managed to dodge the worst of the weather again, thankfully - in the afternoon I could hear the howling wind and lashing rain, but by 6pm it was fine. I have to go out this afternoon, so hopefully I don't get too wet then...

Glad you got some sun and enjoyed board game club - my sister found similar sorts of games, so she brought some with her for Christmas and we all enjoyed Forbidden Island and Selfish Zombies - very good how the games only last about 20-30 minutes each

" they whisper for ages so you have to turn the volume up to be able to catch what they are mumbling , only for there to be sudden, loud noises blaring out ."

Oh, yes - very true!

Good news about the indeed - I can't say I was tempted to try Mariah Carey flavour so that passed me by, thankfully... My work colleagues helped me eat some of my Christmas food on my birthday this year, so that was good.

I hope you have an excellent birthday weekend, and I hope your little h2g2 parcel arrived OK

I'm from the Isle of Wight so undermined roads aren't anything new – this is the sort of thing that happens every couple of years: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-51140199

It is frustrating that the sluice gate seems to be left and forgotten – the path was even more flooded on the way home a couple of days ago, by far the worst I've seen the upper river and cycling through water all the way, but fortunately it has gone down a bit now.

My daughter got 'Forbidden Island' for Christmas – when we play she always insists on being the pilot. I've not played 'Selfish Zombies', though – and to think Zombies are normally so altruistic.

Walkers decided over Christmas to have an advertising campaign featuring Mariah Carey, putting pictures of her on every packet of their crisps. This led to some hilarious adverts in which she tried desperately to avoid having to eat a crisp despite that being what she's been paid millions to do. Yet my son promptly refused to eat any in a packet with her picture on, but he's been willing to eat the if they've been put in a tub or on a plate so he doesn't have to eat them from the packet.

I did wonder whether Mariah Carey is the 's most successful one-hit-wonder. Her song 'All I Want for Christmas Is You' was not only a UK #2 but has led to her making an animated film, 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' (2017) – adapted from her children's book 'All I Want for Christmas is You', as well as appearing in such films as 'A Christmas Melody'. However when I looked her up I saw she has sadly had a few other appearances in the UK top 3, so only counts as being a consistently successful singer and not the most successful one-hit-wonder in the world.

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"I'm from the Isle of Wight so undermined roads aren't anything new " - yes indeed I recall you mentioning the 2014 Undercliff landslide, and the one last week was also nasty...

I was glad to read that the Isle of Wight Land Trust managed to meet their fundraising target Burton Mere also met their target, so hopefully all goes well with their plans

Glad your daughter enjoys Forbidden Island, too "and to think Zombies are normally so altruistic." Yes! Players have to lay out cards to make their own path to get to a helicopter but some of the cards contain traps.

Ah, yes I saw the Mariah Carey adverts containing very little crisp consumption, but didn't see any of the packets of crisps with her face on That's a good question about the most successful one-hit wonder in the world, but yes Mariah Carey isn't the answer.

I hope you had a good birthday weekend. I enjoyed seeing some of the photos you put on

I had a good weekend, as it was an extension of my birthday weekend - my mum felt guilty that my birthday day hadn't been the most exciting, even though I had enjoyed it, so we did a bit of a tour of the Wirral and managed to go around the fog patch so it was good weather for birdwatching Now I need to sort out my photos and put some on too

I managed to sort out my trip plans, too - the Art Gallery has been scheduled for Saturday, and the Model Railway Exhibition for Sunday

I did indeed have a good birthday – and I thought I'd put a photo from every birthday I've had, but as there are quite a few years in which there aren't any photos of me I thought I'd just put lots of birthday pictures on anyway.

Saturday involved a meal out with friends. However as not everyone had replied to my invite two weeks ago we'd booked a table for six, only to learn at midday that actually nine people were planning on coming. Much of the afternoon was then spent with my wife and I contacting as many of the restaurants and pubs in the nearby area to see if we could get a table for nine anywhere, only to be told 'no' everywhere. In the end I managed to persuade where we had the table for six that we'd be happy squeezing up close together and three of us would be children and eventually they reluctantly allowed us to have a table for eight – but they were adamant that we couldn't have a table for nine. So one of my friends decided not to come in the end, which I feel really bad about – but that's why I had asked for definite answers two weeks ago. So that was a bit of a dampener on the day, but it otherwise went well and it was good to catch up with people I've not seen for a while. Today I'm off to eat a pie after work with a few work colleagues.

Yesterday I went for a very muddy CC6 through the New Forest at King's Garn Gutter.

It is indeed good news that the wildlife agencies have raised the money required (or at least the money required for now, I'm sure they'll have further plans in the future) – and have you also seen on the news that one of the sea eagles has been in the news for joining a group of red kites in Oxfordshire. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-51160718

Well I should well see you on Sunday at the Model Railway Exhibition, then My wife says she has a surprise planned for the Saturday. I've not tried my replacement SLR at a model railway exhibition so I'll see how it gets on. Hopefully the displays will be a reasonable height.

And thanks very much for the - I've been asked if it is possible to order duplicate copies, or is that a unique copy only for me? It is surprising seeing the pictures so big on paper.

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A meal out with friends is a good way to celebrate your birthday - shame the arrangements didn't go as smoothly as they should have done considering your planning, but the catching up with people is the main thing

Interesting similarities and differences comparing 1980s photographs from your album with mine! I'm rather proud of the first photo of me, in full colour, so I shall endeavour to remember to make a digital copy soon.

I didn't see the recent news about the White-Tailed Sea Eagle in Oxfordshire - that is good that it is finding food

"Well I should well see you on Sunday at the Model Railway Exhibition, then " - excellent Hopefully it will be reasonable indeed. I have checked , and found Number 2 Blue Star looks good, so I will try that

Glad the arrived safely and looks good! Yours is a proof copy, but you can get duplicates from http://www.lulu.com/shop/matt-sprack/what-the-dinosaur/paperback/product-24358508.html

Ah – I'll have to look out for your photos then, although I've not had much of a chance to browse the last couple of days. I do tend to click the 'upload photos' button at the start of lunch and then when I return to my desk the pictures have uploaded and I click straight on the X to close it as I return to work. I scanned in all the old photos I had about a decade ago (my Mum dumped all her old photos between my sister and I when she left) so all my photos are easily accessible, and I burn back-ups to disc every couple of months too.

Thanks for the link. If that is a proof copy, does that mean it is possible to edit it?

Yesterday we were informed that we have rehearsals for our concert in March coming up soon – but the first one is on Sunday at 1pm. It seems to be in the middle of nowhere, miles from a railway station, so I'm not even going to attempt to go as it is far too short notice. One disadvantage of where they are holding the railway event is that it is in the middle of nowhere, and the refectory does get crowded.

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Yes, there wouldn't have been much for you to see from me on in the last couple of days, because I haven't managed to sort out my photos from my last few birdwatching expeditions, never mind anything else... Well done for being organised with yours. My 'baby book' is organised but not digitised, I have a photo album with a sheaf of unmounted photos in it, and I have a digital folder with a stack of unnamed photos in it so it is all very messy... It feels overwhelming, but if I got motivated and did eg 10 minutes of sorting a day, that would make a difference...

The at the link is the 'First Edition' version (the proof copy is cheaper), but a new version can be created in Lulu at any time (Second Edition, Third Edition, etc). I'll e-mail you the original manuscript later, so you can play with it

Ah, that is typical that the rehearsal in the middle of nowhere is on a day when you already have plans, but it didn't help that they only gave you a few days' notice so you can't dedicate the whole day to getting there and back...

I can visualise the railway event venue, but can't visualise the refectory. I can imagine it will be busy, given that the attendees are a captive audience, but we can see how we get on...

I saved up and bought a scanner about 15 years ago and have been using it frequently ever since. Not just all my photographs – I just realised that what with 700 pages of 'Bank Wars', 100 of 'Keep on Running', another hundred of 'The Nativities are Restless' plus all the other doodles such as 'What the Dinosaur' that's approaching a thousand pages just of that. So I reckon I've done well with that. I bought one that did slides as well, as many of the photos that were taken had been taken in that format, which aren't easy to otherwise see. I also ensured I labelled all the photos as, when my grandfather died, he left boxes of photos behind which no-one had a clue as to what they were, when they were taken or who they were of. So I decided I'd not make that mistake.

The college renovated their café a couple of years ago, probably since you were there last. So if you had been able to visualise what it looked like, you'd've been wrong with regards what it looks like now. I think the moral of it is that, if you want to eat, try and avoid eating at a time when you or anyone else is likely to be hungry.

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Wow, that is impressive that your scanner has scanned thousands of things Yes, good to label things for one's own benefit as well as other people. I find it difficult, but I guess I will get better with more practice - it took me an hour to upload 20 photos to but at least my bird list is up to date now

Ah, yes I wouldn't know what the refectory looks like now, then, as it has been a couple of years since I went there

"I think the moral of it is that, if you want to eat, try and avoid eating at a time when you or anyone else is likely to be hungry."

Yes!

I can beat that – a week ago it took me two hours to top up my mobile phone with a tenner. In the old days I could have walked to any number of ATMs within a 2-hour radius and topped up at the ATM instead without having to deal with the inconvenience of doing it from the comfort of my own home. Well, it wasn't the home that was the problem but O2's website that seemed more interested in diverting me to buy a new phone rather than top up my existing one. Mobile phone companies really don't like pay as you go customers, methinks…

That's why I don't upload anything from home but only use the work PCs over nammettime.

But it was good to see your bird list so far

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Wow, that isn't good that it took you so long to pay as you go via the website... I'm lucky that my phone tops up via 'Hot Key 3', which entails pressing the number 4, of course I love the way the automated voice says 'haeash' for # True that we are rogue with our phones so 'they' would rather we paid more for a new one, for their benefit rather than ours...

Glad showed you the photos The uploading of the photos was quick enough, but it just took me ages to get the photos ready for the upload. I managed to organise 400 in an hour on my computer last night, though, so that was better, and I got a article out of it as well

I always used to use ATM top ups but they stopped last spring, and I've only now topped up my phone twice since then. Sadly the website doesn't say 'Hash'

Yesterday after work I went to a café where a former work colleague who I used to e-mail every day was doing a signing, having written a book after being made compulsorily redundant last year. It was a book of short stories (which I've not read any of yet) but it was quite amusing as when I asked him to sign it, he asked me who I was. Other than that I didn't do much yesterday other than watch 'Good Omens'. You'll be glad to know they've kept the Queen soundtrack, however a lot of the little asides and details haven't made it into the series.

Are you all ready for your journey? It isn't looking very good for Southwestern Railways at the moment – who would have thought that they'd much rather lose millions than promise to keep a reasonable number of staff on their trains? Of course, if Southwestern Railways collapses, who knows what will happen to the brand-new 40-year-old trains we've been promised on the Island…

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‘Sadly the website doesn’t say ‘Hash’ ’



That was funny but not funny that your colleague didn’t recognise you, even though you went to his leaving presentation Hopefully that just means his book signing was busy.

I didn’t see Good Omens, but that is pleasing that it has a Queen soundtrack

Yes, I thought of the Island line when I read about Southwestern’s woes... We shall see how I get on, but I have other options to try if they can’t help me get to/from Eastleigh...

The journey today didn’t start well because there were problems with the Wirral Line but I used another option so I am on the train and am looking forward to getting a decent cup of tea soon.