h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In the absence of free opening night champagne, I'll be starting off with a large tequila please TWF.

It seems unnaturally quiet in here, given the occaision. Oh well, at least there's no crush at the bar.

Hi Jonny, sorry I'm a bit slow serving you but I only just found my way to the bar. You can easily get lost in a place this big.

Tequila is it?
Well, I know how one leads to another so I'll just leave this 2 litre bottle of Mezcal Gold in front of you with some salt and some lemons and limes and you can help yourself.
Enjoy!

BTW if I'm not around so much this week it's because I picked up a book of Vaclev Havel essays and it is pretty interesting stuff.

(For those who don't know) Havel was a Czech dissident playwright who was persecuted by the communists and had to hide his manuscripts in a tree and was bugged, censored, banned and imprisoned for years for his beliefs. He later led a 'peaceful revolution' in Czechoslovakia, overturned communism and became the new elected President.
He's a bit of a hoopy frood all told. I must attempt to write an entry on him

Don't worry, once I've read this I'll be back to reading the comics with the big pictures.

Can you leave the bar open while your away?
We can't last forever you know....

Well, if we are going to have an open bar when twf isn't around, we'll have to set some ground rules, otherwise we'll run out of liquor very quickly

1) limit 50 drinks per person per day
2) close the cash register after paying

I am still here to serve, just a bit slllooooowwww that's all

Rule 3 - There is no rule 3.

A magnum of 1981 Krug for me and an enormous saucer of Baileys Irish Cream for Pink please

No worries, there you go.

Lessee.... Gimme.... A bottle of cinzano bianco, three of your best Dutch Lager, a cask of Cask White and.... A bottle of metholated spirits. I hear the call of the gutter...

Some of us are looking at the stars

Yes, but why are they spinning like that?!?!?!? tell them to stop!!

Well, MadMunk, you could try not lying on that turntable. Just a thought.

But the turntable is the only thing here that stays still... the rest of the world is whirling around...........................

Just stay clear of the stylus MM or you'll find out what scratching's all about...4 Real

Oh dear.... sounds painfull.....

Don't worry, in case of accidents I was always keep a St.Bernard behind the bar loaded up with the finest Brandy. He'll come to the aid of any 'Misfit in trouble. I have to hide him away though lest he forsake his lifesaving job for the allure of TV Frink's dog. Down boy.

Yeah you keep him under control there... and don't let him slurp all the drinks up, you hear!
Heel boy! AARRGghhhhhh.....

Don't worry, TV's dog is fixed and off the market......

OK Bernie, walkies!

(BTW 'Walkies' was the catchphrase of a British TV personality Barbara Woodhouse who was supposedly able to train even the most badly-behaved dog.
It was what you call to your dog who is then supposed to be ecstatic at the thought of 'walking' outside when it's probably more interested in leg-cocking activities
- TWF, doing my bit for transatlantic cultural exchange)

Please keep away from the Pacific