h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

PC, watch the combination of Xanax & , speaking from personal experience, it's not a good idea! That's what i was on when i flipped & i'd hate to see it happen to you.

*sorry, not trying to preach, just concerned*

zdt

Hi Smudger
I can understand that news like that would be very difficult to deal with, its the news we all dread. I worry about that happening, but you are having to live it. I shall direct some of my pointless worrying towards you and your wife, magically transformed into compassionate worrying.


Pheloxi, that makes sense, we have had so many grey days. Now we are having fast moving clouds, torrential rain and hail, with areas of blue sky every now and then. It seems that the weather is having a spring clean!


JEllen, we are in a aimsilar boat, have talked more about this on my journal. It is a difficult one.

Abbi, I recognise that now, why people were saying thats great. Down my hole of stroppiness though, I wasn't getting a clear view of what was going on!


Hi to smurfles, terri and psychocandy, you be careful with those pills girl. Thanks to all for all your support, I am feeling better today, I want to spend all day in bed dozing, but that would be naughty!

I also keep mis-spelling stroppy as stroopy! Perhaps I shall be the queen of stroopy!

Take care all and thanks

Kaz
I finally got my goo going -- I could not find out how to unsubscribe to your one entry in brunel. I am on my way there now to do so as you requested.

I had comments I was going to leave there but I'll place it here instead. You had mentioned that a similar feeling and reaction happened at about the same time last year. I believe that memories live in your body. There is September and April for me that are very emotional and a time of multiple past traumas. They are also natures times of change which convinces me further all is connected. Once I knew that no matter how healthy I got those two times would throw me off balance to some degree , it helped a lot. I used to mark it on the calandar when I got a new one every year.

I have a list of helpful hints and activities too because I do not think well then(look out for the haunting)I think these are growing pains and that you ARE growing through the pain, in spite of it

Hauntings as I call them ! If you know it's coming you can prepare and maybe delay a response, use caution in scheduling, or avoid certain people. There are certain things I am more leary of then; big projects ,changing, new starts and having raw feelings on the surface. I put on some extra armour and tell people I am sensitive and what I may need. Usually I say please tell me if I seem odd or out of sorts and that I am very distracted. You definitely get distracted at the very least (or at least I do)

It is bigger than you may appreciate to have gone through this process recently. You caught the pattern yourself. You stated your problem and allowed people to listen and talk. HUGE ! You are learning to ask for what you need!! IT IS the hardest thing to do for most independant folks, not so easy as it sounds. It is painful to try but once you know it works it's a great to yourself.
<<<gold star for Kaz

The other though that may be helpful in understanding our reaction is most (not all) of us here have the same concerns due to dependancy issues and vulnerabilities . We all want to independant, worthy and safe but are dependant to some degree for our physical well being daily. Dependant was always a dirty word to me. It is the hardest and most distasteful part for me and I am pretty sure I am not alone in that. I am very blessed to have my hubby (him too. I hope). It is a triumphant thing to hear you imagining you could go on and it *gives us* more hope and peace to see it. It means to me anyway, you value yourself and lifein addition to Moonglum. I always think of him as your moon glow!

PS-give yourself permission to be a little naughty sometimes every one needs a free day off from their norm!

yoo hooo abbi....how nice to see you again.
As you know i have kept a journal for a long time now,and when i feel down,or certain other feelings i can't explain,i look back in the journals over the previous few years,It IS true,i have found a pattern,but still haven't figured out why,at these certain times i become .Maybe it was something from way back,before i kept journals???
I am glad to see that you're feeling okay today kaz.
xxxx

Hi all!

Thanks for your warning, Terri, I didn't take it as preaching, just the kind of thing a friend who cares would say. I didn't flip out, I actually slept pretty well for the first time in weeks, and was a very mellow fellow today at work- completely unperturbable, which actually was a good thing, since all hell broke loose and I kept steady nerves for a change.

Smudger, I have seen you around, and have spoken with Terri about you just a little bit, but I didn't really understand your situation, and that of your missus, until now. It must be really hard for you both. My first husband passed away several years ago, and while it was very sudden, it was still really hard. I shall keep you both in my heart and in my prayers, and wish you lots of happiness and blessings for your time together. I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry.

Kaz, good to see you feeling better today, I've sent you an email and stuff, but didn't want to ignore you here!

Abbi, it is SO wonderful to see you back! I was missing you, and was beginning to get quite worried. H2 just isn't the same place when you're away!

Hi, best of everything and brightest of blessings to anyone and everyone I've missed!

Hi Folks, Keeping a journal" I wish I had done that, it would be a book by now

Naw! being serious, what I used to do when things were getting me down, was write Poetry! So you can imagine the state I was in when I wrote "Moods" (its in my collection at Btm of my page)

Others I wrote when I was happy, (but there aint a lot of them)
in fact, looking back on it, Im a sad Basket case
Smudger.

Hi guys

Abbi, such wise words. I never thought that maybe those times could be a regularly thing, I will be more aware from now on.

I decided this year to keep a diary and bought a beautiful one filled with gorgeous art, stories and poetry etc. It is very much a Goddess diary designed for women. Psychocandy and myself have the same one, which I think is lovely, brings you closer together when you write in it. Look for wemoon dot ws if you are interested.

I love very much the diary that Kaz got for me. It is so beautiful and meaningful spiritually, for me personally, and also because Kaz has got the same one... and because she got it for me. I can't tell you all how wonderful it is for me to have it, to write things in and also for the beautiful artwork and poetry, and all of the information it has in it! Thank you, Kaz!

it is good to keep a daily journal, to look over how you felt at a time later on, I've never kept one before but I think that it will be very useful for spotting patterns in my feelings and such. I am very prone to seasonal depression and to cycles in my moods. It will be very beneficial to me to look back later on how I'm feeling in this moment, be it good, or bad, or whatever, and to be able to reflect on it. I think it's easier, when you're feeling really down, to look back on how you have before, then see how things got better. They usually do, one way or another, if only for a moment or two.

Even my journal here has done me good, for looking back and stuff. I usually delete my entries after a time, to save space, but often go back and have a look, to see how far I've come. And while I sometimes spiral downwards, I always do manage to fight my way back up. What a relief to look back and see that!

And thanks to all of you here who've helped me make that clinb, by offering a hand or a shoulder for a stepping stone when needed. I often go back to a certain journal entry I'd made about a year ago, when I'd hit "rock bottom", and couldn't fight any longer. I doubt I would still be here today (in fact, I know darn well I wouldn't, for what that's worth) if not for those of you who were there for me then, but I'm glad I am! And I'm glad for all of you I've met since as well! (Lights a candle for DNA for bringing us all together like this, if you only knew..)

Sorry for the mammoth posting. I just get so emotional at times, this is one of those!

Nah ! PC that is not a mammoth posting.
Very nice one though.

Lovely to see all this support

I like the idea of your matching journals girls!

Smurfles I would almost bet on it being from before you kept journals.
I am not a betting gal either!

If you know *when it is likely coming* it's practical help even if you never find out why it comes.
Most can do without the memories.
It is the function, balance of predictability and comfort with ourselves we stand to gain by noticing our own patterns and seasons.

Not that all this knowledge makes us perfect.
How boring and lonely that would be!

It's enough to improve the contentment in our lives.

good morning everyone.PC,i find that the seasons affect me as well.I am usually heading downward around november,and again just leading up to christmas!!1!When iam feeling like that i look back to my old diaries,and go to the time of year,and almost every time it is there,the same entries for the year before,and the one before that.What ever the reason is it must go way back,and i can't find it,i am glad that abbi agrees with me there.I don't think any purpose would be served by finding out what the reason is either..i have a feeling ignorance is bliss.The support of friends in h2 is wonderful.but the understanding from people who have "been there"is invaluable,i think it makes us all feel less isolated,
to all those people,<.xx

Absolutely.

to all of you, i certainly wouldn't have made it without "you lot"

zdt