h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

a mixture of pitty and disgust.
I don't want her to die.
But mother is already dead.

I'm sorry

[It occurs to me that my previous post is open to significant misinterpretation. She isn't dead the sense that she is a corpse. It just that all that is left of her after the illness she has been through isn't really recognisable as my mother.]

Still, that's even harder to go through I think- the person you love is gone, but they're still there.

I'm botching this up again.

I know that's hard... For the last year or two that my father was alive, he wasn't him...

would it be too personal to ask what her illness was?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/hydrocephalus1.shtml

She can walk short distances with the aide of a frame, the dementia-like effects means she isn't my mother anymore.

Isn't she getting better from a shunt? Cortisone? Anything?


Milla

Certain things got better with the shunt, like her actually being able to walk more than ten feet without falling over.
But she hasn't made any noticable improvement in months.

Milla

Poor woman. Is she getting some kind of therapy?

Words are no good.

She visits a department where they try to help improved her strength and balance...
If there was a therapy for her cognition I'm sure my our GP would have gotten it for her.

Pity? Then why can't you show her Sympathy?
Pity for yourself so plentiful you thought to share it around? Selfish twat!
Disgust? At your own Cowardice and Fear!
You disgust me! Why not do something constructive instead of bewailing your lot.
Don't want her to die? Your resentment for her finally laid to rest?

Weak coward, failed son, want to run away, self-indulgent and afraid!

Oh, no you don't! Don't lay more guilt on yourself!!!!! It's a tough situation even for the strongest - and all those with lots of family and friends to help, to support and to vent the heavy feelings with. So go easy on yourself. What you can do, you do. What you can't - forgive yourself for not being able to. And above all - vent. We're 'here', listening, giving heartfelt (but often useless )advice and we care.

Yup.

Thirded!