h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Having removed my spurious claim that the Queen Mother was nasty and the comparison of her to a female sexual swear word, yet again I find these fascists are up to their old tricks again. I'm wise to them though.

I would like my introduction piece returned in all splendour as It contains nothing offensive, rascist, illegal, sexist, sizist, ageist or rapist. It does contain some poor spelling and the use of so solid speak, you get me? But that is not against the little rule book.

The behaviour of the censor is that of a pedantic, unworldly, humourless fool. Probably sacked from Starbucks for poor hygiene and rejected by McDonalds for being too much of a pleb by their stupifyingly low standards.

I would also like to take this opportunity to reitterate that the Queen Mother is neither a nasty old lady or a c**t. She is a dead pensioner who never did a days work in her 164 year long life.

New Year,same old you eh?

Hello, hello, hello. The censor he continue to oppress I and I. What is I to do. You ken?

Jesus,don't you know any jokes or something?I'm a single parent,I don't need to hear your problems.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?

I was going to ask if there is any chance you could ask about to find out how long I have to wear this straight-jacket for. I feel constrained like a latter-day Terry Waite and would love to have my freedoms back.

PS The punchline to that joke that you still can't read is:

One of them was (erroneously) accused of being a child molestor, whilst the other was the first man on the moon!!

Boom, boom. It's the way I tell 'em etc. Time to get planning, I'm going loco down in West Country-apulco, if I wait too long, I'll be paying huuuge train fares.

This post has been removed.

And that one got through?Moderation is a curious thing!What on earth would anyone want to come back to Devon for twice in one month?

I'm going to Briztoll on the 18th. I can't go any further West though, I get nosebleeds easily when the gene pool gets so narrow.