h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Don't forget to change your colostomy bag!

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhrgh

do you mind? I'm in the middle of tiling my floor with those self adhesive fake woodblocks things.

Very bijou... been watching House Doctor have we?

I hate houses and I've got no interest in decorating them.

Right... You never did say whether you had that holiday you were planning, did you? You seem to be evading the questions like a politician with a pocket full of eels.

I'm going to Kuwait tomorrow and will be going into Southern Iraq to monitor the conditions of the Iraqi PoWs. I've already made my mind up on it though, and my report has already been written, condemning the US and UK for human rights abuses and contravening the Geneva Convention.

Keep an eye out for me on the news, I've been interviewed by John Snow twice in the last week!

Been there done that got the tee-shirt with the bullet hole in it...yawn yawn.I bet you didn't see any reports of the w.i 's factfinding mission to North Korea in the papers! Wondered why Kim Sung had been quiet of late? Handclapped into submission by a a tranche of middle England more intent on discussing methods of preserving damsons.Hola.

Hi Rev, just a quickie before I wipe you off my friends list!

When you're in Kuwait, can you nip into the Alnoori school flats (2nd floor) opposite Al Ahmadi refinery & pick up that stuff i left behind?

Ta very much.

If you don't reply, I'll assume the purple haze has got to you at last!

Terri.

Bingo, bango, bengeo!

I'll get that fine ayatollah skunkawallah but I can't be bringing it back with me through customs. There's laws and suchlike out in these parts! Oh, the rumours are true, I am the Iraqui information minister. I'd like to confirm that we destroyed two tanks and will massacre the infidels...

tariq! lovely to hear from you mate! I've been onto John Charcol and they say theres some pretty fine properties coming onto the market both in Highgate and Holland Park.

Oh very posh! Highgate is it? (Pron. hi-g't for all you thickies).

I may be moving to a small town just outside Malmo in August. Apparently the yay or nay letter is waiting for me when I get back to my castle.

Hi Rev, greetings good Lady!

I think you should consider moving to France; not only are we (according to the Sunday Times) "surrender monkeys" but the provision for those of us who are not 100% capable of running marathons is pretty astounding. Try looking up "cotorep" on google. Great stuff!

Shame about no-go in Kuwait, next time maybe?

Take care, keep in touch.

Terri.

Here's hoping for world pois.

Petit ou mange-tout?

(they don't do the gorgeous squashy flourescent jobbies here, mores the pity!)

Terri

I'll have words with the cheeses up top at Christian Aid and find out if we can do a giant airlift to Franceland to mend their heathen ways.

Don't have peas! Ahahaha. The big sillies!

Consider yourself well in,we've taken to you so strong that after some consideration we can state consider yourself one of us.

'I'd do anything, for you, dear, anything. But I won't do that.' Meatloaf

You keeps saying one day things will be fabulous...

But, I'm very much maligned and misunderstood.... waoooo

I was going to say something and then I just couldn't be bothered.Oh look theres a fire engine.