h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was going to tell you about www.shipoffools.com ,then I got to thinking I know the Housemartins did'Caravan of Love' was it 'The Beautiful South' who did 'Ship of Fools' and then the big eternal questions started kicking in....start winking your eyes.

Oh really? Oh yeah. Oh. Right. Mmmmm. Indeed.

Erasure did a song called 'Ship of Fools' - is that what you're thinking of?

Thank you ,it is very disconcerting to be out here thinking all the time.If only the government would pay meto think.Its the only thing I'm any good at .

You underestimate your talents so. You are also a quite talented hi-cacker too.

I said 'plenty of vinegar not too much salt.'Now you'll have to eat all of them,theyre disgusting.

I don't like salt and vinegar on my digestives. You must have guts of steel. Vinegar on evrything you say. Don't go putting no vinegar on your caviar. They may come out of water but they shouldn't be fried in batter.

And you bought COD.Theres NONE left in the North Sea.OH MY GOD.
I've never eaten caviar in my whole life,are you another one of those upper middle class boys pretending to BAAD?

No, I am living in a squat because of my inaffordadbly high gastronomic desires. How else could I afford to live off lobster, caviar and Piper Heidseck (and a weekly treat at Wimpy) if I didn't live in the drains?

The only reason you ve got yourself to the pre-moderating stage is so that some poor sod has to read everyone of your postings.
In my quest to discover who has added my e-mail address to things like' big boy' and 'freedom-extended' I am currently talking a young man in Sweden,if you must know.

So, you've been caught out. Looking up all manner of filth and smut and you have the cheek to blame it on our irrepressible Scandinavian neighbours. Bow your head in shame!

Yes, it is true. I purposely got myself pre-moderated to force some unlucky sod to read every garbled work that comes out of my filthy brain-sack. Hello moderator! I like you so!