h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*walks over to the chair and sits down*

Ah, Doctor, Is that you?

I know we've had our ... differences, but I'm having this problem with my mother. I vunder..., I mean I wonder if we might talk about it?

Of course, this would have to be a phone consultation.

If I could just make an apointment with your scheduler?

Yes This is Dr Anthea speaking, how may i be of assistence

Avil is that you? </>

differences... yes thats true...
i remember russia...
but i will help your mother vat.. what is her problem?

Ah, yes! Forgive me for not identifying myself.

It has been a long time since we've seen each other; except for that few moments ago when I approached your office by mistake.

Who was to know?

Aach, My mother has no problems!

My mother IS a problem.

You know with most problems there is an easy solution for people like me. I've got cohorts, killer robots, and all sorts of solutions to people problems.

But, Mamah, this is different!

of all the places... you stumbled in here...
yes you can have an appointment old friend,

*listens hard to try and make out what the other person is saying*

Good! Good!

How about February 29th! That would be perfect!

*takes out a small revolver and aims it carefuly holding it in one hand while listening to Avil*
*click*
erm sorry about the desturbence, i have a customer at the moment but he wont be a bother

yes yes i can easaly fit you in then,
so how was Russia after i left, i herd there was a little trouble with the genarator?

Then it's okay? February 29th, you pick the time.

Ah, the Russian stepes in winter! Such great memories ...
except, as you say, when the generator goes kablooey.

Yep, too much plastique. I just wanted to blow the lock, of course.

Well, then. I'll talk to you again on the 29th, as you suggested.

Bye-bye for now.

I have to hang up on the chance you are tracing this call!

[click]

*puts the phone down*
an old friend... you understand khamsin...
*puts the revolver back in the drawer*

Yes I understand, except the word old friend...

I would have thought all your old friends were locked up or dead

verll..
*cough*
well most of them... had some sort of trouble that resulted in that,
as long as no-one notices small mistakes in my visa...
i mean...
well Russia was a long time ago, there are still a lot of us left i am shure, now there was a country that apreciated its scientists

but why are you here now then? Why not Russia?

well although i am here my hart is in Russia,
I had to leve after... a small accedent, but we are not here to talk of me. on with your problems

so what do you want to know about my problems then?