h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Beer Goggles - A976746
Author: Researcher 220129 - U220129

I'm interested to hear what people think of this, my first entry to the guide!

Reword the 'I's into something neutral (like 'this researcher'), change "it's" to "its" in "alcohol in all it's forms", and that should be it



Bossel

Nah - leave the 'I's' in and move it to the alternative writing workshop - it's a piece of creative writing and a very funny one at that!

Eminently suitable for the Underguide.



Sprout

Thanks for the feedback guys - I don't know whether I'd rather edit it for the guide or leave it for the underguide - maybe I'll do both!

It needs heavy editing for the EG as it's more like an experimental piece of prose fiction rather than a guide entry.

I'm still convinced this could go into the 'Life' section, just like the Egg Banjo piece, A776054

I've thought a bit about this one, and I agree with Bossel. With a little work I think this could get into the EG

"'I slept... with that'"
I'm not quite comfortable with that phrase - I'd rather it read something like 'We... did it?'

" somewhere near Burnley favoured by those ladies for which the word slapper was invented."
Again, something a little less mean-spirited and crude might be better.

"although they will often use excuses relating to menstrual cycles and previous sexual conquests when explaining their actions at a later date"
Ditto.

This entry's been here a good while - let's get some discussion and a decision

I agree this fits in with Egg Banjos, though the goggles are a slightly less tangible item.

Apart from Gosho's good points, one other thing that would improve it is breaking it up with a couple of headers. If you don't want to launch into using GuideML (which I found quite a shock the first time I used it) it is of course possible to indicate headings in plain text, and leave it to a subeditor if it gets picked.

tpyos:
umteenth >umpteenth ?
plae > pale
enthusiatically > enthusiastically
embarrasment > embarrassment
voilently > violently

Pimms

I believe there is indeed a 'p' in umpteenth

This topic and much of what is written could be saved and edited into a nice EG work.

However, the *tone* of the article works better, as is, in the underguide. It's a kind of funny essay with a topic, rather than a more objective description of Beer Goggles.

Just my thoughts. . .

Friar

ps. personally, I love the style and think the UG would love to have this!

Since the author hasn't posted on h2g2 since April 30th, may I suggest a move to the Flea Market, from where I'm sure either The Post or the UG would happily snap it up?


Scout

Agreed. I'm sure someone could make something of it. It has a certain style.

I'll third that suggestion

Pimms Lettuce