h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*knock... shuffle... thud...*
*knock... shuffle... thud...*
*knock... shuffle... thud...*

*A very old woman comes in, and slowly and awkwardly settles herself on a stool in the corner. There are diamonds the size of pigeons' eggs on her gnarled fingers, her walking stick is ebony, and her coat is dusty and old fashioned but unmistakably mink. There is a faint smell of lavender and talcum powder and rose water, and a slightly stronger smell of gin. She is clearly a woman who has lived a long life to the full, wringing every last drop from the fabric she spun and wove. Slowly it dawns on the assembled company that this woman is sister to Eva Peron and Rosa Luxembourg. A retired revolutionary on her uppers.*

"It's really good to see so much activity here" she wheezes, slowly lighting up an evil-smelling russian cigarette. "And in the AWW and the Pig and Slag," she adds. "I am old, I am crotchetty, the medication for my varicose veins interferes with my gin, but this is making a sad old revolutionary almost happy. I feel that the baton being passed on to good young enthusiastic hands."

Ben

Seriously folks - good work!