Matches ( or in this case - lack of )

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Eyebrows and eyes

There is nothing worse *
than when your lighter breaks.....

....particularly when it is 3am and, unless you are prepared to venture into the freezing cold to an all night garage, you are stuck with no fire making facilities.

Fortunately all is not lost as, having experienced this crisis before *, purchasing a box of matches in advance purely for such an event, there is no need for panic.

However, safely stored out of harms way, the afore mentioned box is nowhere to be found *.

Obviously the safe place is so safe, no-one knows where it is.

Resorting to desperate measures

Using a gas fire (self-igniting for those who are about to argue about how that was lit) to light an incense stick * to then light a candle * which can be utilised quite adequately, providing you take care to avoid nasal hair burning, as a temporary cigarette lighter for the night.

And here is the point.

Every time you go to light a cigarette, you reach for the defunct lighter... (which is still lying on the sofa due to the fact that you are too lazy to get up and put it in the bin - or maybe in some vain hope that it will spring back to life) ...despite the fact that there is a huge burning candle directly in your eye line.

And now, after braving the cold to go to the local shop to get a new lighter and loo roll * what do you find but the box of matches sitting on the windowsill in a very 'unstored' and definitely unsafe way.

Life eh?

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