h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It is so good to see you reviewing again. Your Catwoman review must the best review I have ever read and I know it has been printed out and stuck on walls - which sets a high standard for your other stuff. All I can say is, please keep watching films and then telling us about them.

How much is he paying you?

Good God, people did that?!?!

I find that rather difficult to believe, but thanks anyway...

(Hopefully there'll be a review of one of the Oscar movies this week. Yes, I know it's not new, but it's better than nothing, right?)

It may have been the references to the Halle Berry in tight black leather and bending over all of the time. People respond to that.

OK, it hasn't been stuck on walls. However, it does get read along with this piece (my copy is from a printout of an old usenet/email posting with headers that take up half the page) when we need to tell each other funny jokes but can't think of anything original. To quote:

I am absolutely not making this incident up; in fact, I have it all on videotape, which I obtained from the alert father-son team of Dean and Kurt Smith. The tape is from a local TV news show in Oregon, which sent a reporter out to cover a 45-foot, eight-ton dead whale that washed up on the beach. The responsibility for getting rid of the carcass was placed upon the Oregon State Highway Division, apparently on the theory that highways and whales are very similar in the sense of being large objects.

So anyway, the highway engineers hit upon the plan -- remember, I am not making this up -- of blowing up the whale with dynamite. The thinking here was that the whale would be blown into small pieces, which would be eaten by sea gulls, and that would be that. A textbook whale removal.

So they moved the spectators back up the beach, put a half-ton of dynamite next to the whale, and set it off. I am probably guilty of understatement when I say that what follows, on the videotape, is the most wonderful event in the history of the universe. First you see the whale carcass disappear in a huge blast of smoke and flame. Then you hear the happy spectators shouting ``Yayy!'' and ``Wheee!'' Then, suddenly, the crowd's tone changes. You hear a new sound, the sound of many objects hitting the ground with a noise that sounds like ``splud.'' You hear a woman's voice shouting ``Here comes pieces of ... my GOD!'' Something smears the camera lens.

Later, the reporter explains: ``The humor of the entire situation suddenly gave way to a run for survival as huge chunks of whale blubber fell everywhere.'' One piece caved in the roof of a car parked more than a quarter of a mile away. Remaining on the beach were several rotting whale sectors the size of condominium units. There was no sign of the sea gulls, who had no doubt permanently relocated to Brazil.

This is a very sobering videotape. Here at the Institute we watch it often, especially at parties.



PS: The videotape is on the internet - it really is worth watching.

I've actually seen that clip!




... just sharing in the spark of recognition.