h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Cleaning products, Weight loss and you - A954885
Author: Male Researcher 217777 - U217777

I was watching my television last night, and there was an intermission in my program. I was just about to leave the room for a short break to make myself a drink, a sandwich and to use the toilet, when a blearing advert was broadcast.
The advert in question told me that I needed to go to a health clinic/have lypo-suction/go on a diet/buy some weight reducing milkshake or some such rubbish. This in itself is not odd, but immediately afterward an advert came on saying how a new cleaning product (see A125191) had been designed, and it was PROVEN to smell better/last longer/kill more bacteria than ever before. According to the advert this product needed LESS EFFORT THAN EVER!

Suddenly it came to me, I thought if the people who need to loose weight, instead of spending all their money on diets and highly effective cleaning products they could save large amounts of money, by buying cheaper cleaning products and burning off calories compensating for its lack of effectiveness. This money could be used to increase their quality of life/be given to charity/be invested shares in companies that develop even more effective cleaning products.

So therefore I urge you, any of you who find your selves at a little gravitational disadvantage don't waste your hard-earned currency, give to charity! (Or at least give 20% to charity and invest the rest in cleaning product companies.) Because if you do we could create an economy largely based on the development of increasingly useless products, forcing every one to become gradually fitter and stronger.

Hilarious! But maybe you should put it in the alternative writing workshop, not this.

Thank you for that. I shall try that right away

Its in I see! We're trying to talk to you on your personal space, could you go and answer please?

Hmmmmmm.....

I am almost speechless. Not because it sounds silly... no, not by any stretch of the imagination, but because it sounds perfectly true. Somewhere in the recesses of my head, it makes senese.

I think that you are on to something, to be frank. Lean, mean, cleaning machines seems to be the way to go... with donations and stock options, of course. I hold up my towel and salute you!

*Salutes*