For those of you who are unaware of The Meaning of Liff and The Deeper Meaning of Liff by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd, they're books. Good books. Funny books. Books that, to be concise, lend place-names to things or experiences as yet un-named.

H2G2 is the perfect place to continue Douglas and John's efforts to make the signposts of the world more meaningful and fun, so if you like to have a contribution considered for inclusion in this, The Even Deeper Meaning of Liff, please start a conversation below with your definition. Don't forget that the words have to be genuine place names - and no plagiarising the originals, please. That would be very, very naughty.

Alternatively, if you would like to see your home town added, or know of any funny-sounding place-names, please post those, and our more experienced Liff-ers will bash out a definition or two for your approval.

"See Liff" means a reference to the original Liff books.

• Cadwell (n.)
  • Smoothly executed piece of deception or dastardly behaviour by an aristocrat.
• Caerphilly (n.)
  • A suspiciously over-helpful male nurse.
• Calcethorpe (n.)
  • A scathing comment made on the basis of a personal disagreement that bewilders everyone listening, forcing them to ignore it.
• Calderstones (pl.n.)
  • Irritating bits of gravel that get into your shoes and force you to hop about on one leg to remove the shoe and shake them out. This is a complete waste of time, since they will by now have worked their way inside your socks and between your toes.
• Campo Grande (adj.)
  • In the style of Quentin Crisp.
• Caputh (vb.)
  • Broken, but in such a manner as could go unnoticed for years, e.g. the F-11 key on a PC keyboard, top D-sharp on a piano, etc.
• Cardurnock (n.)
  • A man who habitually fastens all the buttons on his cardigan one-out-of-step with the holes.
• Carlops (n.)
  • A vehicle approaching in the darkness which appears to be a motorcycle but which turns out to be a car or lorry with a missing headlamp. The odds are 50/50 for guessing the correct side on which to pass it.
• Carlton Scroop (n.)
  • A makeshift windscreen ice-scraper (often a plastic bank card).
• Chau Phu (n.)
  • Any completely made-up dish sold as a joke in an Eastern restaurant to see if Westerners will fall for it.
• Chelston (n.)
  • A diabolically explosive sneeze which cannot be controlled under any circumstance, and that occurs at a public entertainment, such as The Proms.
• Cherry Willingham (n.)
  • Behaviour adopted by a teenage girl when seeing how far her male friends will go to try and impress her.
• Chinley (adj.)
  • The art of using the lower-jaw as a third hand when folding newly ironed clothes or freshly laundered sheets. A prehensile chin.
• Churston (n.)
  • The kind of dance performed by the elderly at wedding receptions. It starts out as a dance that was popular in their youth, but quickly devolves into a muddle as they realise they've forgotten most of the steps.
• Claxby Pluckacre (n.)
  • Ancient punishment bestowed on a woman by her husband if she was found to be suffering from venereal disease.
• Clevancy (n.)
  • The ability (some might say a gift) to see clearly that at least 99% of "the paranormal" is complete bunk.
• Clinkham Wood (n.)
  • The material from which Morris Dancers make their Whiffling Sticks. Great care is taken in selecting only wood with the right acoustic properties. This is traditionally done by a select band of Morris Men entering a consecrated forest on the first night of the full moon during the month immediately prior to the vernal equinox and gently tapping on the trunks of mature oaks with a bent silver teaspoon whilst whistling "The Floral Dance" in F sharp minor. If nobody laughs, the tree is deemed suitable.
• Clovulin (n.)
  • A protein extracted from four-leaf-clovers and sold as "concentrated luck" to those who lack Clevancy (qv).
• Cockington (n.)
  • An innocent word or phrase which causes the feeble-minded, immature, and teenagers to dissolve into fits of giggles. A prime example of a cockington is the scientific name of an early ape-man, Homo Erectus.
• Congleton (n.)
  • A metal tray dropped onto a kitchen floor at 3 or 4am, the resounding clang from which echoes around the neighbourhood waking everybody up. The recommended position to adopt during this is with hands clenched on top of the head and eyes tightly shut.
• Conscience Hill (n.)
  • U.S. equivalent of moral high ground.
• Cottered (vb.)
  • Whacked over the head without warning by a rattle-wielding baby.
• Crosby (vb.)
  • To feel somehow cheated by the fact that although you have hundreds of channels of cable TV to choose from, you can now find fewer programmes actually worth watching than when you only had four.
• Crossens (n.)
  • An affliction of the eyeballs caused by trying to make sense of drawings by M.C.Escher.
• Crunwear (n.)
  • A collection of comfortable old clothes kept specifically for doing D.I.Y. in. The more holes, burns, paint-splashes and solvent-smells the Crunwear accumulates the prouder of it will be the owner. Unfortunately, having reached this condition it is likely to be "accidentally" thrown in the bin by a disgusted partner.
• Cuckfield (n.)
  • The memory loss affecting cockerels which means they cannot crow just once in the mornings.
• Cullompton (n.)
  • Someone who just cannot do anything quietly.
• Cumberworth (n.)
  • One who starts complaining even before he’s been asked to do something.
• Cuyahoga Falls (pl. n.)
  • The accidents and mishaps which befell unprepared explorers in the New World, which served only to amuse any Native American spectators.
• Cylibebyll (n.)
  • The barely audible purring of a perfectly-tuned internal combustion engine.
• Dalby (n.)
  • British-made innovation in sound-processing software, used by Railtrack in all stations.
• Dalderby (adj.)
  • Describes the behaviour of someone who has been Addlethorped (qv).
• Debach (vb.)
  • To disengage gracefully from a cello.
• Diggle (n.)
  • To procrastinate as to where exactly to plant a row of peas.
• Dihewyd (adj.)
  • Able to speak English but reverting to Welsh in the presence of tourists.
• Diredawa (n.)
  • The kind of dreadful conversation instigated upon seeing an elderly relative for the first time in at least one year. The conversation must have two or more of the following components to qualify as a diredawa: 1) A list of who has died in the time since your last visit; 2) A list of who has been ill in the time since your last visit; 3) What has gone wrong with the elderly relative's own innards in the time since you last visited (this is known as 'The Organ Recital'); and 4) Aren't prices / children / television programmes terrible these days? Diredawas have been known to last for anywhere up to three and a half hours.
• Dry Doddington (n.)
  • The old soak who is always on the same stool in the same local pub, seeming to be constantly drinking, but never actually getting drunk at all.
• Dorridge (n.)
  • Exactly the same as a Hockley Heath (qv.), but they own a Range Rover, whose one-and-only time 'off road' was when they had to rescue the ice-cream van from the muddy school field at the fete that year (which they organised, of course....).
• Drumwhirn (n.)
  • Unnecessary stick-juggling at the end of a song by a rock percussionist.
• Duddlestone (n.)
  • A small rock or pebble placed in the garden by a child to mark the spot where the goldfish, budgie, etc, now rests in peace. The Duddlestone soon disappears when the cat comes along to disinter and eat the deceased.
• Dudinka (n.)
  • The precise moment when you first catch yourself using words that make you sound like an old fart (for example: 'When I was a kid...'), marking the start of a long, slow decline into becoming like your parents.
• Dunaverty (n.)
  • Morbid fear of using Australian outside toilets.
• Duncton (n.)
  • Generic term for any of the lethally poisonous varieties of spider which habitually lurk under Australian toilet seats.
• Dundonald (n.)
  • A reckless Australian male who adopts a cavalier attitude to Dunctons (qv) in order to to gain machismo at the possible expense of losing his life.
• Dunipace (n.)
  • Measure of speed, being the maximum velocity attainable whilst running with trousers half way up the legs after spotting a Duncton in the Dunny.
• Dunphial (n.)
  • The extremely fragile test-tube or glass bottle used to contain a deadly apocalyptic virus in sci-fi films.
• Dunrod (n.)
  • A small stick kept in Australian outdoor toilets for whacking or dislodging Dunctons (qv).
• Dyffryn Cellwen (n.)
  • Someone who always knows someone else with a much better mobile phone than your's.
• Edwyn Ralph (n.)
  • Someone with a quite ordinary name who suddenly decides it would be cool to adopt an exotic spelling e.g. Joww Bhlogze, Deyv Rodjairz.
• Elburton (n.)
  • Painful dig in the ribs intended as a friendly adjunct to the climax of a joke.
• Empshott (n.)
  • The half-finished e-mail which hides among the finished ones in your Outbox and gets sent by mistake.
• Ensay (vb.)
  • To hastily write an apologetic e-mail to chase after the Empshott (qv) explaining that any insults were unintentional, that you really didn't meant it, it was just a joke, etc, etc.
• Ensis (n.)
  • The state of frozen helplessness as you watch the Empshott (qv) whizz off into cyberspace, knowing that nothing you do can now prevent it from reaching its destination.
• Erdington (n.)
  • A person who knows full well the end of the witty story you are relating but allows you to carry on anyway so that he can pre-empt the punch line and deflate you in front of all your friends.
• Farforth (n.)
  • A pseudonym adopted by a devotee of fantasy games and Internet chat sites.
• Farnworth (n.)
  • An olfactory measure, defined as the amount of farmyard smell that is sufficient to convince day-trippers that they are "out in the country", but not enough to actually make them be ill all over the coach.
• Felindre (n.)
  • A post-Mogerhanger (qv) cat, trapped inside the bin but rather enjoying it while the food-scraps last out.
• Felixstowe (n.)
  • A cat which has the knack of always being in the right place to be trodden on or tripped over.
• Fiskerton (n.)
  • Someone who would put on a tie even if they were confined to their bed all day.
• Flyford Flavell (n.)
  • An apprentice member of a TV studio floor-crew whose job it is to check that everyone's flies are done up before going on-camera.
• Friskney (adj.)
  • Desperate to leave the house and do something.
• Frithville (vb.)
  • To annoy people by chivvying them along.
• Frosterley (vb.)
  • Feeling not ungrateful that Winter has arrived because you can slouch about indoors doing next to nothing for a few months without feeling too guilty about it.
• Fynnongroew (n.)
  • Fertiliser for Astroturf. Plantfood for plastic flowers. A generic term for a completely unnecessary commercial product.
• Garbity (n.)
  • That which actually gets recorded as opposed to that which you intended to record when setting the video-timer.
• Garmouth (vb.)
  • To use as many words as possible whilst conveying the absolute minimum of information, to inflate sentences to ten times the necessary length, to insert meaningless waffle and cliched cool-talk ... y'know what I'm sayin', yo, check it out ... etc. Technically, anything with a signal-to-crap ratio of less than 10dD (deci-drivels).
• Gayton-le-Marsh (n.)
  • A member of the upper house whom the public feel is long overdue a lurid tabloid exposé.
• Gillmoss (n.)
  • The ever-thickening viscous green sludge in which pet goldfish have to live because their owners are too stupid to ever think of changing the water.
• Glapwell (vb.)
  • To finely judge the angle of tilt when pouring a bottle of wine so as to elicit the most sumptuous sound effect. Some idea of the ideal sound to aim for can be obtained by repeating the word "glap" out loud to yourself at about 2.5 times per second.
• Goodwick (n.)
  • An utterly conscientious and law-abiding citizen, who is, in fact, a malicious b*****d taking great glee in his evildoings. For example, the person who drives exactly the speed limit and obeys all traffic laws, purposefully infuriating the mile-long tailback of speeders and reckless drivers behind him.
• Gowthams (pl.n.)
  • Surly old men who take offence at your presence in their pub.
• Grantham (n.)
  • Bold, sweeping and entirely untrue statement uttered by a right-wing politician.
• Grassendale (n.)
  • A residential home for retired pot-heads.
• Great Hale (n.)
  • The deep breath before you take a dive, or before doing something risky.
• Great Sankey (n.)
  • The final resting place of model boats and yachts, i.e. the bottom of the local park lake.
• Great Steeping (n.)
  • An archaic exclamation used by headmasters and the clergy.
• Great Yarmouth (n.)
  • The first, jaw-dislocating yawn of the day.
• Grebby (n.)
  • Someone who, upon visiting, is followed by someone wielding a mop, dustpan, air freshener and flea spray.
• Grimoldby (adj.)
  • Descriptive of the tone of voice used when someone's telling you how fortunate you are to be young.
• Grimscote (n.)
  • The patina, or crust, of deceased flying insects accumulated on the windscreens of high-speed trains.
• Gumfreston (n.)
  • A bedside-table false teeth holder, with or without integral clock and barometer.
• Guragon (n.)
  • Any horrible comic television character you despise, such as Victor Meldrew, Hyacinth Bucket, or Patsy and Edina, because they remind you of one of your actual relatives, and of whom people think you have an irrational hatred, when in fact it's a perfectly rational hatred because you actually have that kind of person in your life and you can't turn them off.
• Hacklinge (n.)
  • The momentary twinge of guilt felt when installing pirated or cracked software.
• Hackness (n.)
  • The complete lack of concern or guilt once the software that caused the Hacklinge (qv) has been in use for about a week.
• Halsnead (n.)
  • The latent period in a Newsham (qv) during which the sneeze is gathering momentum and deciding when is the most inconvenient moment to re-erupt.
• Halsham (vb.)
  • To lose one's dentures off a balcony after a particularly explosive sneeze.
• Hamstall Ridware (n.)
  • Transparently untrue excuse given on the spur of the moment to deter door-to-door salespersons e.g. I really must go, I'm repotting a cactus.
• Hardingham (n. collective)
  • The correct term for a group of young men, generally out on a Friday night, all of whom have exactly the same shaven haircut, two-tone shirt and sickly designer drink and stare at you as if they all want to kill you for no reason whatsoever.
• Harrington (n.)
  • The disapproving glare bestowed by two or more old women on a group of young people enjoying themselves noisily.
• Hassocks (n. plural)
  • The red marks created on one's knees by one's elbows while reading on the toilet.
• Havering-atte-Bower (vb.)
  • Challenging the garden shed to a fight whilst in a state of advanced inebriation.
• Havyat (vb.)
  • A common sequel to Havering-atte-Bower (qv) involving a fencing-match with the trellis.
• Haxted (vb.)
  • At a rock concert, to be repeatedly elbowed in the ribs by the person next to you playing air-guitar (Legend has it that an AC/DC fan was once Haxted to death).
• Haywards Heath (n.)
  • An irrational hatred of Picalilli.
• Headcorn (vb.)
  • To wonder, having just stood up from bending over the toilet, when the last time you ate sweetcorn (or carrots, or beetroot) was.
• Heighington (n.)
  • The act of hesitation when a person cannot decide whether or not to accept cashback with their groceries.
• Henglers (n.)
  • Many of those sitting on a canal bank dangling a line in the water are actually trying to catch fish, others are just there to get away from the wife. The latter are known as Henglers.
• Hightown (n.)
  • An urban area containing more than its fair share of pot-heads per square mile.
• High Toynton (adj.)
  • Descriptive of the tone of voice employed by a female during an argument when they're daring you to say something reasonable in a calm, unflustered voice.
• Hill of Beath (adj.)
  • The degree to which a hill seems steeper or longer after 10 pints of lager.
• Hinton Blewett (vb.)
  • To miss your chance by being so subtle for so long about something that the other person never even realises that you were after anything in the first place.
• Hockering (n.)
  • The period just before an opera or recital begins, during which the audience tries to get all the coughing, grunting and nose-blowing over and done with.
• Hockley Heath (n.)
  • The uncanny feeling that the person you are talking to is on the parish council, the PTA, the local cricket club committee and the board of govenors of the local primary school, which their poor picked-upon children left 10 years ago.
• Hogsbeck (n.)
  • Initiation ritual performed on new apprentices in pork pie factories.
• Hogsthorpe (n.)
  • Any domicile in the kitchen of which there are no cooking utensils except for a frying pan.
• Horncastle (n.)
  • The paradise to which virgin warriors hope to go when they die.
• Horsington (n.)
  • Acting style used by women playing aristocrats in period dramas.
• Hounslow (n.)
  • In dog racing, the one that you chance all your remaining money on which then comes in last.
• Hoylake (n.)
  • A specially-constructed pond at the back of naval colleges, where trainees are sent to practise ship-to-ship shouting (a much sought-after skill in the event of loss of radio contact at sea).
• Hundleby (n.)
  • Ominous and disapproving ancient saying made up on the spot by your mother when you mention that you want to do anything.
• Huish (n.)
  • In the mood to peruse paint-colour-charts and wallpaper patterns in a leisurely manner. This normally progresses quite rapidly to Huish Champflower (qv).
• Huish Champflower (n.)
  • A long drawn out war of attrition between man and wife when trying to agree on a paint colour or wallpaper pattern.
• Huish Episcopi (n.)
  • Sudden unexpected convergence of choice which mercifully brings to an end the Huish Champflower (qv).