The Even Deeper Meaning Of Liff - The Saga Continues...

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A dramatic revival of a long-dormant project

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For those of you who are unaware of The Meaning of Liff and The Deeper Meaning of Liff by Douglas Adams and John Lloyd, they're books. Good books. Funny books. Books that, to be concise, lend place-names to things or experiences as yet un-named.

H2G2 is the perfect place to continue Douglas and John's efforts to make the signposts of the world more meaningful and fun, so if you like to have a contribution considered for inclusion in this, The Even Deeper Meaning of Liff, please start a conversation below with your definition. Don't forget that the words have to be genuine place names - and no plagiarising the originals, please. That would be very, very naughty.

Alternatively, if you would like to see your home town added, or know of any funny-sounding place-names, please post those, and our more experienced Liff-ers will bash out a definition or two for your approval.

"See Liff" means a reference to the original Liff books.

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  • Aberlemno (n.)
    • The little shelf on a Wimbledon umpire's stepladder used for holding soft drinks.
  • Abernant (vb.)
    • Absolutely refusing to admit that it was you who was seen on holiday in Rhyl.
  • Acharacle (n.)
    • The sound of someone having a really good scratch.
  • Achnaha (vb.)
    • To suddenly spot that a large hairy spider has crawled up your leg, or is constructing a web between your knees.
  • Achnacloich (vb.)
    • A panic-stricken lunge to knock off the spider that has just been spotted in the Achnaha (qv).
  • Achnagarron (n.)
    • The feeling of horror upon realising that the Achnacloich (qv) has only succeeded in sending the spider scurrying for cover into your nether-garments.
  • Adare (vb.)
    • Of American pharmaceutical companies, to frighten the populace into demanding that their doctors put them on more drugs. See also: Xilokastron (qv).
  • Adbolton (n.)
    • A patch that you have to download from the Internet in order to get a program to actually do what it said it would do on the box.
  • Ad Dali (n.)
    • A television advertisement or ad campaign, usually filmed in black-and-white, which does nothing but confuse the viewers.
  • Ad Diwaniyah (n.)
    • A supremely irritating advertising campaign, thought by its creators to be brilliant, but in actuality causes the populace to respond with annoyance, disgust, or violence. Hence, also an utterly failed advertising campaign which actually drives customers to the company's competition.
  • Addlethorpe (vb.)
    • To try and confuse someone who is drunk/half asleep by messing with their perception of time and space.
  • Adversane (adj.)
    • Resistant to advertising. (See also: Radnage)
  • Affleck (vb.)
    • To pebbledash someone's best suit by talking at them with a mouthfull of crisps. Unlike Satterthwaite (see Liff), Afflecking is a deliberate act done for humorous effect.
  • Ailby (n.)
    • An Ulceby (qv) who specialises in non-fatal but chronic complaints.
  • Alfold Crossways (n.)
    • The latticework of lines and creases left on a letter by failed attempts at folding it to fit the envelope, which show the recipient that you are quite capable of making a complete mess of a simple job like folding a piece of paper.
  • Allerton (n.)
    • A person who appears to be allergic to absolutely everything and everybody.
  • Altcreich (n.)
    • The sound effect used when a cartoon character is speeding towards the edge of a cliff, rooftop, etc, but is unable to stop. (See also: Zigong, Liff.)
  • Altofts (n.)
    • Springy bits of hair that no matter which way you comb them pop up again as soon as you turn away from the mirror.
  • Alton Priors (n.)
    • The impossibility of folding a road-map back into the configuration it was in when you bought it.
  • Ampfield (n.)
    • At a rock concert, the percentage of the venue occupied by the PA-system, amplifiers and speaker stacks.
  • Ampney Crucis (n.)
    • The critical point at which the size of the Ampfield (qv) starts to look silly, for example when there is no room left for the actual audience.
  • Ancrum (n.)
    • Any small object from around the house tied to a child's helium balloon to stop it from drifting off.
  • Ansty (adj.)
    • Descriptive of a computer mouse icon pointer that refuses to move no matter how much you gyrate the mouse.
  • Angmering (vb.)
    • Threatening to complain about the TV programme you are watching but with no intention of actually doing anything.
  • Apperknowle (n.)
    • A schoolboy who can tell you the exact location of all the spy-holes into the girls showers and changing rooms.
  • Ardechive (n. Technical, Computing)
    • A compressor "utility" which saves 0.01% of your disk space whilst making your files 300% more difficult to get at.
  • Ardingly (adv.)
    • In the manner of one having to tell the same funny story for the fifth time because people keep joining in the conversation halfway through and missing the first bit.
  • Ardentinny (n.Technical, Alt. Usage See Liff)
    • A die-hard hi-fi fanatic who still swears that CDs will never catch on because they will never sound quite as good as a vinyl LP played through a proper valve amp.
  • Ardminish (n.)
    • A one-note guitar chord favoured by thrash-metal practitioners on the grounds that Harmonic Intervals are for wimps.
  • Arkansas (n.)
    • A name which is not pronounced according to the way it is spelt.
  • Asgarby (n.)
    • Expression used by drunk people when expressing doubt or disbelief.
  • Ashbocking (vb.)
    • A lengthy procedure undertaken by old steam-engine drivers after a day's work, whereby they, or their wife, would attempt to pick all the bits of coal, clinker and accumulated smutts out of their nose, ears, eyebrows, hair, teeth, gums, etc.
  • Ashby Puerorum (n.)
    • One who prefaces every utterance with "In my day...".
  • Ashcombe (n.)
    • An implement used during Ashbocking (qv).
  • Ashmansworth (n.)
    • The little mound of muck collected after a thorough Ashbocking (qv). In a symbolic act of rebellion against the job, some drivers would mix the Ashmansworth with a bit of pipe-tobacco and smoke it.
  • Ashwicken (n.)
    • Commencement of the Smethwick (qv) season.
  • Asknish (vb.)
    • In a state of nervous indecision as to whether you should ask a question that you may not like the answer to, or remain forever in happy ignorance. e.g. "Can I have a rise?" or "So what do you think of this draft of my new novel?" or "How was it for you?"
  • Asserby (n.)
    • Expression used by even more drunk people when refuting the Asgarby (qv).
  • Attercliffe (n.)
    • A hill or rock-face that is just asking to be climbed up.
  • Audlem (n.)
    • The deafening chaos into which bands descend during practice sessions as each musician gradually turns up their own volume to drown out the others.
  • Audley End (n.)
    • The self-limiting point of Audlem (qv), whereby after many rounds of volume-incrementing the power amps are clipping, the circuit boards are approaching meltdown, but at least some sort of enforced balance is attained.
  • Bacup (vb.)
    • A computer hiccup during which all existing copies of a vital file are simultaneously trashed by a freak mains-spike.
  • Badgeworth (n.)
    • A boy-scout so proficient that his uniform now consists entirely of badges sewn together end-to-end.
  • Bainshole (n.)
    • Scottish version of a Littleton Pannell (qv).
  • Balcombe (n.)
    • An irritatingly smug piece of football trickery that 15 year old boys spend hours rehearsing in the back garden.
  • Balnapaling (vb.)
    • The English occupation of dozing off whilst watching the cricket. 85% of a test-match audience will, on average, be balnapaling.
  • Baltasound (n.)
    • Collective term for the chaotic din that emanates from car repair workshops. (The exact composition of Baltasound varies, but normally includes a certain amount of battering with hammers, rending of metal, revving of dying engines, and the whining of various pumps, drills and dissatisfied customers, plus at least one painfully loud and distorted transistor radio and two or more macho mechanics shouting, blaspheming and passing wind ad lib.)
  • Bapchild (n.)
    • One who is just asking to be thumped.
  • Bardney (n.)
    • Punchable manner adopted by people who consider themselves poets.
  • Bargoed (past vb.)
    • Forced against one's will into buying the next round.
  • Barrow-On-Humber (vb.)
    • The act of requesting a friend to lend you their copy of a new video/cd/etc with no intention of ever giving it back.
  • Barton Bendish (n.)
    • The person whose fault it always is that what starts off as a "quick pint" ends up as a marathon pub-crawl.
  • Barton In The Beans (n.)
    • The mysterious ingredient in baked beans responsible for their legendary intestinal gas generating powers. It is estimated that if chemists ever succeed in synthesising pure "barton", then there will be an awful lot of people wishing that they hadn't.
  • Barwick In Elmet (n. Archaic)
    • In Arthurian legend, a lusty knight who is undergoing a voluntary period of chastity in order to work up a keen sense of anger before a battle. The "elmet" refers to the special headgear which was worn to indicate to the general populace that this person is not in a good mood and should be given as wide a berth as possible.
  • Bastak (n.)
    • Any modern artist you'd like to punch senseless for being a pretentious git.
  • Beaver Green (n.)
    • That part of the park which is favoured by secretaries for sunbathing in the lunch hour (and therefore not uncoincidentally favoured by the male office population as well).
  • Bedale (vb., Archaic)
    • Of comely young maidens, to skip and traipse through the woods, singing "Fa-la-la" in the desperate hope that a passing handsome woodcutter or hunter will fall for it.
  • Beddgellert (vb.)
    • One who actually looks forward to having the 'flu, as being confined to bed is the only way they can get a bit of peace and quiet and catch up with all the reading that they've been meaning to do for ages but could never find the time.
  • Beeford (n.)
    • A well-endowed man who gets banned from the gym for wearing cycle-shorts.
  • Belchford (n.)
    • A young man's flat on a Friday night when he's got a few of his mates in to watch the television.
  • Bellingham (n.)
    • The kind of celebrity the media tout as being beautiful, when it is painfully obvious that said celebrity is a sad, emaciated, repellent, and dismally bubble-headed waste of cytoplasm.
  • Bergen-op-Zoom (n.)
    • The ear-splitting cacophony made by an accelerating motorcycle at 2:30 in the morning by the rotten b*****d of a biker who wants to startle everyone out of his/her peaceful sleep.
  • Bergholt (n.)
    • A town at which people travelling by car stop purely because of the large distance to the next town.
  • Benniworth (n.)
    • Someone so eager to be your friend that you can't help loathing them.
  • Bickerstaffe (n. Archaic. See Liff For Modern Usage)
    • A ceremonial wooden pole that was kept in medieval villages for the purpose of settling disputes between argumentative women. Basically, they were each given a Bickerstaffe and then left to beat the crap out of each other.
  • Billinge (n.)
    • Collective term for the mundane drivel to be found in letters between penfriends who have absolutely nothing in common, yet neither of whom can bring themselves to be the first to stop replying to the other's increasingly pointless letters.
  • Bilsby (n.)
    • Deeply stupid name given by a celebrity to their child.
  • Bingley (n.)
    • Cheerfully insane as a result of incessant Bingo playing. Typical usage: "Poor old soul, she's gone bingley you know".
  • Birdlip (n.)
    • Swinging 60's term for the verbal abuse received from one's girlfriend when the bottoms of one's flares failed to meet the regulation circumference.
  • Biscathorpe (n.)
    • Collection of old patterned tins on top of your grandmother’s fridge.
  • Bishop's Nympton (n.)
    • A secret device used by the clergy for discreetly scratching itchy bits under the cassock during long services.
  • Blackheath (n.)
    • The feeling of futility encountered upon starting a new game of patience only to discover that all the face-up cards are clubs or spades.
  • Blundellsands (n.)
    • Areas of coastal sand dunes which, from a distance, look perfectly clean, but which upon actually reaching them are found to be full of litter, broken bottles, used condoms and pools of stagnant green water full of dead frogs.
  • Bobbington (n.)
    • The lone idiot at every rock concert who can be seen leaping up and down completely out of time with the music.
  • Bodfari (n.)
    • A daring and reckless expedition into Wales, particularly on a Bank Holiday.
  • Bolfracks (n. pl.)
    • An amalgamation of the main swearwords used when exasperated, suddenly fused together when banging one's knee on the corner of a table in the presence of a vicar or Grandmother.
  • Bolney (n.)
    • A song created by one's father during one's infancy, which consists of a large variety of made-up words in addition to said father's sporting and cinematic heroes.
  • Bo'ness (vb.)
    • That irresistible desire to nod off whilst one is having a haircut.
  • Boohay (vb.)
    • Unsure whether to laugh or cry.
  • Boston (n.)
    • At a loss what to do after you've finished.
  • Boswinger (n.)
    • One prone to involuntary nocturnal limb thrashing.
  • Bowerchalke (n.)
    • A reserve cache of chalk kept by teacher's for throwing at aberrant pupils.
  • Braeface (n.)
    • An expressionless expression worn to hide the fact that you loathe and detest the person you're talking to.
  • Braegrum (n.)
    • The true expression hiding beneath the Braeface (q.v.) which may briefly reassert itself whenever the offending person looks away.
  • Brandesburton (adj.)
    • Unable to take a shirt back to the shops because of the iron-shaped scorchmark on the back.
  • Bran End (n.)
    • Medical condition characterised by posterior discomfort. Caused by the consumption of far too much roughage.
  • Branksome (adj.)
    • Pug-ugly but considered highly attractive by dint of rank, power or bank balance.
  • Branston (n.)
    • Someone who perpetually fails to achieve a task such as swimming the channel, climbing Everest or making Yorkshire puddings rise.
  • Brasted (vb.)
    • Shot by Elmer Fudd.
  • Brixham (n., Archaic)
    • A builder who tidies up after himself at the end of the work day.
  • Bromborough (n.)
    • A motor-cyclist who takes great pleasure in sneaking up behind people and suddenly revving up very loudly.
  • Burwell (n.)
    • Unconvincing and badly-worded counter-argument.
  • Bulpham (n.)
    • The b*****d who sneaks into the park at night and digs up all the daffodil bulbs for his own garden.
  • Butterbump (n.)
    • The twinge of fear experienced when simultaneously reading a health article and eating a bacon sandwich.
  • Buttercrambe (vb.)
    • To ineffectually try to scrape the remnants of toast and crumpet from the surface of butter or margarine in order to throw them away, merely resulting in burying the crumbs further deeper into the tub.
  • Buttonoak (n.)
    • One who walks around all day oblivious to the fact that they have fastened their jumper or coat Cardurnock-style (qv).
  • Bwlchgwyn (n. Onomatopoeic)
    • The sound made by one's stomach when a large pocket of wind decides that it's time to move.
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