h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

@livzy

Your parents spend the first 3 years of your life teaching you to walk and talk. The rest of them they tell you to sit down and shut up.

"An unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates

"Imagination is more important than knowledge." - Albert Einstein

"The time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look on the murder of men." - Leonardo da Vinci

"Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning?" - George W Bush [S Carolina, 2002]

"When a man has pity on all living creatures then only is he noble."
- Buddha

"Thank you, being born once was enough." - Bumper sticker seen in NYC

"God is coming back, and *BOY* is She p****d!" - T-shirt

Neo: "I just, I thought you were a guy."
Trinity: "Most guys do."
[The Matrix]

Trinity: "Dodge this."
[The Matrix]

Magic Max: "Have fun storming the castle!"
[The Princess Bride]

Johns: "I thought you said clear!"
Riddick: "I said it *looked* clear."
Johns: "Well, how's it look now?"
Riddick: (Consideringly) "Looks clear."
[Pitch Black]

Frank: "Do you have any tattoos?"
[Rocky Horror Picture Show]

Hermann Goering is a bit dodgy?

Kryten - Red Dwarf

"He's been decaffanated"

Murtagh - Lethal Weapon II

(when Riggs asked him if the bad guy was dead,who is South African - thats why its funny)

"Look, just because it's an armour-plated alien killing machine that salivates unspeakable slobber doesn't mean it's a bad person. What we've got to do is get it round a table and put together a solution package - perhaps over tea and biscuits."

--Rimmer, Red Dwarf

Q

Almost half the worlds population is below average

anon.

Was that part of the Campaign for the Liberation and Integration of Terrifying Organisms and their Reintroduction Into Society?

"I say we go out there and tw*t it." - Lister

That's the baby!

"I know this sounds harsh, but I say he hit it with a hard, and I mean HARD leafleting campaign"

Q

Throw momma from the train:
(Crook is telling his old ma that the new stranger in the house is his cousin, she says he doesn't have a cousin..)

"You lied to me! *WHAP over the head with the frying pan*"

--Danny DeVito

(You have to know the film really)

Q

"You're a smeeeeeee... a smeeeeeeee... a smeeeeee.... Oh, it's no use!"
[Kryten, Red Dwarf]

"Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand?"

--John Coffey (The Green Mile)


Q

"You sunk my battleship!"


TV ad circa 1975 (for the game "Battleships" surprisingly enough)

Everyone writes poems, but poets are the only ones who use words.

Good music enters your ears easily and leaves your memory with difficulty

I thought that was about hard boiled eggs?

"good hard boiled eggs enter your system easily but leave with difficulty"

Nice ones badvoc and queegle. More Red Dwarf!!!!

Cat: Isn't there something we can do? Isn't there some way we can turn ourselves into little people and get inside his mind? Isn't there some kind of machine somewhere that can do that? And if not... why not?

(That line is great in itself but Rimmer's response is pure genius)

Rimmer: Look, we've all got something we can bring to this discussion but from now on I think the thing you should bring is silence!

Rimmer - We are all going to die

Rimmer - That's my private, personal, private diary, full of my personal, private, personal things....

Cat - It's gone public

This is not a bar-room brawl, it's a bar-room tidy. UN-RUMBLE!!!

Apart from having a medium sized fire axe stuck in my back I,m fine thank you.

Cat: I'm hungry
Lister: Rimmers dads died
Cat: I'd prefere chicken