h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We already have a nation's military under our control. Mwaha! Last year, as part of my long-term strategy, I finalised my hire-purchase of the Imperial Army of the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg. So, as long as we don't want to take on any country larger than Monaco, we should be set

Divisions! Rally! Toot sweet!

*The Imperial Army of the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg rushes in. Both of them look embarrassed*

This is Maurice and Henri. They comprise the Air Force, Navy, Infantry, Cavalry and Nuclear Combat divisions. Except Henri has vertigo, so he can't fulfill his Air Force duties...

Yeah. We may need some more soldiers.

...So I just have to speak to them, then?


...Do I get to kill anyone...?

Oh, probably, probably. Who do you want to kill?

*Pauses*

Besides everyone?

...I think I'll start with that Maurice bloke over there..

*indicates Maurice with her left index finger*

He looked at me funny.

*Snickers at Maurice.*

Sorry, pal. You be dead...

*Shrugs.*

Hey! I'm feeling more e-vil than usual today!

Well Maurice, are you ready to die for Luxembourg?

Maurice: "Zut alors! Non! Mon Dieu!"

*Maurice runs around frantically and starts trying all the doors. Naturally, they are locked*

Sorry, mon ami, but the lady's bloodlust is on her. You know how it is.

*Sits back, butters a waffle and watches with every sign of enjoyment*

*Shrugs.*

We may have someone dropping in. A bounty head, in need of some sanctuary. I left a decent clue as to our location, and, if nothing else, we may be able to lure in a few bounty hunters. Then, we'd get bounties, 'cause of our e-vil bloodlust, and then more bounty hunters...

*Thinks.*

We may need to get a waiting list.

*sneaks in, taking care to keep her face to the floor*

*walks right up to Mystrunner* Well I found it. Interesting twist on the clue.

Oh, I daresay you're safe here. No worries, with the BoE!

*Fiddles with a knife.*

Jade, have you killed whazzisface yet?

*nods at kleo*

Welcome to my bar......or the new BoE, as it would seem.

*eyes the new gal sardonically, hurls a couple ninja stars at her, perches proprietarily on Mystrunner's lap, in case she survives and gets any ideas*

*raises an eyebrow in the soon-to-be-dead-guy's general direction, and in a blur of motion, a handfull of shuriken knives are hurled in his general direction. Without a sound they penetrate deep (one in his forehead, one in his stomach, and one in his left leg.) into his skin. The wounds begin to mist blood on the floor and surrounding area. After a few hours, they stop. Maurice lays in a puddle of blood*

Jade: ...Someone want to clean that up...? *glances pointedly in Skull's general direction*

Thras: *licks his chops with a lizardlike tongue*

Jade: Dun even think about it, dragon-boy.

Thras: Awww, damn your eyes Jade, you never let me 'ave any fun...

Jade: *shrugs, then turns her gaze in the direction of the new girl* Well hello. *she grins and produces a bottle of out of her pocket. It is blue (like it ought to be,) but a bit bluer than normal (like it ought not to be,) and it glowing slightly* Fancy a drink, love? *winks*

*Smiles.*

I've formed a sister-BoE at another webpage. Turns out that we can get paid to be e-vil there.
http://www.go-gaia.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=145555&highlight=

If anyone's interested... seems to be a high demand for violence in their threads.

* :-/ * *Looks at Mystrunner and nods at the blue drink, giving him a questioning look* Uh.... http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/classic/F123002?thread=315389&latest=1 I think what we're going to end up with is a full scale battle! Well, at least that's what I hope will happen. /ooc>

Sure thing.

*Shugs.*

*Warily nods and reaches for the blue drink* Sure...

You don't want to drink that. Seriously. It could be very, very bad for you.

*Deflects the blue drink with a kind hand, smiles benevolently*

No, you want to drink *this*. It's goood.

*Holds out suspicious, bubbling black liquid in a stainless steel pitcher. The twinkle in his eyes may be benevolence - maybe*

Um... perhaps you had... ah, heck, whatever.

*Shrugs again, with feeling.*

Legion, on the gaia thing, you can use clothing under the profile button. That is, if you want to. Your avatar looks like I kinda thought you would...

*Thinks again.*

Kleo, sometimes it's best to serve your own drinks.

*Sips *

I've figured that out by now, but the best I could do with my 450 starting money has me got up looking like a barefoot gigolo, and a broke one at that. How can I get more gold? Any way apart from veeery slowly while surfing? There's a monocle in the shop that would look so *good* on me

Posting gets you cash, so the more you post, the better off you are... um, getting people to reference you when you sign up is another... there's a thread where you can beg for donations... 's what I'm doing.

Made two hundred in exchange for an e-vil laugh.