h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Bird poo and How to Cope With it - A890598
Author: Mina - U290

A small entry that I've picked out of Flea Market and spiced up a little. Simply so that I can link to one of my own entries.

The FM thread is here - F74125?thread=193002 - although it's very bare. You can see the original entry here - A556832.

If you've ever been caught by an in-flight seagull dropping, then the effect is more akin to a slap on the back of the head with a cold flannel.

That reminds me - where was that thread about seagull fishing ? We could make it the official H2G2 sport.

It's a nice little entry, all right.

There's something very odd about the sentence

'It's particularly potent on sunny days and dark colours.'

Azara

It's a zeugma - which is where a word (usually a verb or an adjective) is used to govern two nouns, where it might only agree with one of them, or agree with each of them in different senses, e.g. 'he took his oath and his seat'.

Or "She left in a huff and a taxi"

Thanks Gubernatrix, for a very long time I've been trying to recall the proper term for that

You get a smartie if you can tell me the difference between zeugma and syllepsis....!

Can I get one if I tell you the difference between a British Smartie and an American Smartie?

I've already packed away my dictionary in readiness for tomorrow's move, and Googling the word hasn't exactly enlightened me

I can never remember the difference between zeugma and syllepsis. I have to look it up every single time it crops up in threads like this, which is most days. Most days? Did I say most days? Now there's an anadiplosis for you!

This only seems to muddy the waters

http://www.io.com/~eighner/writing_course/oldquestions/qa040100.html

TS Eliot:
One of the low on whom assurance sits
As a silk hat on a Bradford millionaire

Does A576290 help?

All I could spot is a couple of typos, and stuff which I will insist on pointing out, due to being an annoying sod.

"If no one saw it happen, pretend it isnt there" isnt=isn't

"If people do notice then wipe it off. Do not use your hand, do not use a passer-by's hair. Use a hankerchief or a leaf."

This seem to be constructed of sentence fragments- how about either making it one sentence, and replacing the full stops with commas, or re-arranging it somewhat.

"rather than rubbing it to avoid scratching the paintwork."

This sounds like one would rub it to avoid causing scratches . How about
"rather than rubbing it, in order to avoid scratching the paintwork"?

Nice one Mina

"It's particularly potent on sunny days and dark colours"

So does this conversation that means nothing to me mean that this is okay? I can change it if it's not clear to other people.

I've changed the sentence about the paintwork so that it reads better, but I'd like to leave the bit about wiping it off because that's the original author's work. If I need to change it for it to be accepted, then I will, but I would like to see something of his/her writing style left in if possible.

Three times! I hate birds!
Good entry though.
What is missing is something about hair. After the 'something warm land on your head' the Entry only talkes about clothing, and trust me, bird droppings on your clothes is nothing to bird droppings in your hair. I've been hit thrice in my life:
First in childhood. Right on top of the head. Likely culprit: a swallow.
Second time summer of 2001. Pant leg. Divebombing sea gull.

And then this spring I was walking along the street on a cloudy day when I suddenly feel something hitting me on the head. I immediatly think "It's not raining, and I'm too far from the wall for something do drip from the edge of the roof, but please let that be a big drop of water." But of course, it wasn't. I went to the nearest big shop and used paper towels, some of them wet to clean most of it up. Not that it was very much of it, but you can't really clean your hair without taking a shower, which was what I did when I got home. Likely culprit: sky rat. I still manage to resist the urge to kick the critters though. Filthy, evil pigeons.

"It's particularly potent on sunny days and dark colours"

It struck me as odd at first but now that I have been reminded of these figures of speech I think it is very appropriate.

By the definitions in my dictionary, it is a syllepsis rather than a zeugma, and I notice that one guide to usage says:

'Syllepsis is appropriate to humour and satire and to any writing in a light, ironic tone.' So leave it as it stands!

Azara

What a delightful gem to rescue from the Flea Market!

I, (unlike poor NAITA ), was only victim to 'bird-poo-to-the-head' once in my life, when I was about 7. Panic-stricken, I appealled to my mother for help after the traumatic incident, and she did get around to helping me clean up, (but only after laughing herself to tears for nearly 10 minutes straight!)

Anyways, I'd like to make a suggestion. While only a select few unfortunates are victim to 'bird-poo-to-the-head/clothing', nearly anyone who has ever driven a car has dealt with birds making a mess of the exterior. Perhaps, since the ending is a bit short, more elaboration on this topic would be nice. I.e., avoiding parking under trees, avoiding parking with a convertible top down, using caution when in the vicinity of a freshly washed automobile, (for as we all know, a freshly washed car is every bird's preferred toilet of choice!), etc. (When I was a little girl, my grandpa had me convinced that mourning doves were really 'poo poo birds' and that they had a particular grudge against his car!)

Maybe the entry could then be divided into two parts with subheaders, one about bird poo on one's person, and one about bird poo on one's car. Just a thought.

Cheers!
Raindawn

A nice, but rather odd entry!



I wouldn't split it into sections, but that's just me...



- Jimi X

I'd missed that last posting! I have mentioned that parking under trees should be avoided. Not least to avoid sap as well.

Thanks Jimi!

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